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Relationships Forum Chatter & Grey Matter

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Jun 22, 2016.

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  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Deviating a bit from the topic of joint family and coming to the issue of Indian men spending a lot of time with mother / sister / parents ..... came across this forward (have read it before and am sure most of us would have). It sounds very sweet and one would wish such relationships could really exist, and if they already do, then one would wish more people could enjoy such relationships.

    Somehow I found this a little uncomfortable too, because in this case it is the other extreme of son having very little to do with mother except to go on an 'emotionally sponsored' (by wife) date with the mother.

    How I wish we could reach a balance between the two extremes - the above example and the situation in a majority of cases in India.

    http://www.ba-bamail.com/content2.aspx?emailid=23053&memberid=879840
     
  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    I often wonder whether all these forwards are about real stories or whether they are totally made up feel good stories.
     
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  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Made up. Made up. That's what the cynical me always thinks. I'm not about to "learn" to be the nice, lovely wife either because I don't expect any appreciation for that!
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    @gauridinesh
    I am glad that rista did not work out.
    I hope that girl found a better mil .
    @satchitananda
    I think all these people on the social media who post 'sanskari 'forwards probably are more the ones suffering from guilt.People who don't spend the time with parents,don't speak to them often ...but post the "if you love your mother ...post this that".May be it is just the cynic in me......
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2016
  5. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    @satchitananda - I find these forwards over the top and very very "cliched". Most of them blame the "modern" kids for not calling their parents or sending their parents to oldage homes. Like yellowmango said, I know of people who have given a court case against their parents and siblings for property, posting images that say "My dad is the best" or "My sister is the greatest friend I have". It is as if they live in a parallel universe!
     
  6. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    I don't know, it is true or made up for 'feel good story'. But, I see myself down the road....in that mom's place.

    Deep in my heart, I can feel that eventually it will happen to this generation of women. Not that kids isolate us, "we" will give that space to step out of our kid's life.
     
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  7. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    .....now, the property values are sky rocketing. I see that exact same thing happening in my family. It is very nasty....unbelievable the level of greed and the hatred/negative vibes, they have for each other.

    The biggest joke was, last month's "mahalaya amavasya" - pithru Tithi.
    Sad, it is true.
     
  8. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Mostly feel good stories.

    An exception is a friend of mine and his wife. Theirs is a love and arranged marriage. They have such a system, but works both ways. My friend takes his mom out for ice-cream once in a while, just the two of them alone, of course after telling his wife. He doesn't stop his wife from hanging out alone with her folks. The frequency is very rare, but they do it.

    After marriage, the parents from both sides expect them to show up together. That is the accepted norm of the society.
     
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  9. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    That and sometimes I wish the kids would spend some one-one time with mom and dad separately. Not always as a couple. I try to do that...but no matter how much I drill sense into DH he treats them as a one unit . I know in my gut my MIL would like some time alone with her son...have tried to come up with situations during our trips to India but havent succeeded so far.
     
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  10. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    A general opinion... parents feel the responsibility to show up together/appear as a couple in front of their kids and spouses. They don't want to be questioned by the son in law or daughter in law.

    Also between parents. Father feels that mom will feel bad if you take me out alone. Mother feels dad will feel bad if we both go out alone. So conclusion is lets go together. Plus discussion proceeds to so and so is at home, he / she will also feel left out. Lets add more to the group.
     
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