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India Trip Confusion

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Prabh, Oct 25, 2016.

  1. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

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    Hi OP,

    Please make the list of things you may be needing for your baby.Firstcry.com carries almost all the baby related stuff. Get it delivered to your inlaws place.

    You said your Mil will expect lots of gifts and things from you whenever you visit...Reading your post, I think you are also expecting some from your inlaws. Expectations are not wrong if they are reasonable...Regarding, refurbishing your inlaws house, if your husband demands his parents to do it, then he should pay for it too...
     
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  2. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Everything you need for your child, you take from where you are. You might bt get the same brand/ quality that suits your child. The weather, environment, attention, everything will be very different for your child. Do your bit to take stuff for your child so he / she still gets a feeling of some consistency.

    It is not that much of a problem to bring stuff to India or lug it around in India.

    Regarding IL's nature you can't change it. Your child has two healthy parents and doesn't need any half hearted handouts from anyone else. Do your bit for your ILs within reason, make some memories and return.
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Someone in our family has four children .2 NRIs and two non NRIs .
    They have build a second storey just for the NRI children's visit. That part stays locked even when the other non NRI children visit with the family .
    The good car is only used for the NRI children 's visits ....it is called the 'X's car as X probably paid for it.

    Another family where one child is NRI and one non NRI. Parents have a two bedroom apartment. The non NRI(who stays in the other corner of the country) has to shift to the living room when the NRIs arrive.....

    I am glad my siblings are not NRI.
     
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  4. MNR

    MNR Gold IL'ite

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    I am facing the burnt of DH's NRI sibling.
    We extended 1Bedroom+Bathroom+Small hall just for this family(against my wishes) visiting once in 2 years. They dont have any plan to settle down in india in near future. Even so they are already discussing abt purchasing FLAT or independent house .
    Finding it difficult to maintain. Would have been very happy with our compact house with just 2.5 BHK house with my Inlaws + daughter.
     
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  5. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, its not clear from your post that whether you want to get the house furnished for your comfort or you want it for inlaws.
    Let your inlaws decide whether they want to refurnish the home or not. and if you are giving them suggestion to refurnish the house then be ready to spend some amount on furnishing. As only suggestions are not sufficient, you should take some action too.
    I understand that you want your in-laws to do a FD on name of your child as you are taking it as token of their love. But your in-laws may have financial constraint....may be suggest them that dont furnish the house, do the FD on the name of child. even if they dont do FD still its fine, money is not love.
    This kind of thinking is making you similar to your MIL who expects lot of money from your DH on the name of love, same you are doing, expecting money on the name of love of grandparents.

    order the stuff online, @Rihana has given you many link. You can order them, paid them, give the address of your inlaws for delivery. i order online raakhi/gifts etc from UK on indian websites and they reach very well to my loved ones.
     
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  6. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    I faced this NRI sister in law situation in my in-laws home( my home) many times. My self and my husband were made to sleep down in blanket ( thick) in Bangalore cold along with my sister in law's son. both our rooms were occupied only by 2 adults ( each room for my sister in law and mom in law) along with her younger son. When iam alone in my native home , even though place will be there in the bed, my sister in law will ask me to sleep down in mat. She needs more space it seems. Fine. Iam used to it. People respect us only if we are in a good position. Hope we grow to a good position soon
     
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  7. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Thats terrible @sindmani ..! The extent some people go to hurt others..... :anguished:
     
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  8. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    OMG, thats terrible. I am so sorry you had to put up with such nasty and insensitive people.

    Please stand up for yourself, if you are not hosting them. Or just meet them during daytime and go back to your home as much as possible. But if you are hosting them, well , I can understand you may not have a choice. If your SIL is lving in a foreign country doesnt really mean she is in a better position than you.
     
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  9. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    The incidents I posted were less compared to many degradating incidents I faced. It's OK. I have always been called ugly, fool, monkey, donkey by my mother in law in front of many people as well as my family members ( both sides). I have been shoutedby her for no reason, ordered, after a year of our marriage they thought my husband that if we dont get a child soon society will blame us, which affected my husband's health .i have always been patient thinking that people will change one day. I was patient because I felt any daughter in law will have to face these. My parents will feel sad for me if i tell them all the things iam facing. But it affected my mental and physical health. I got panick attacks. My parents CamE to my rescue. Now iam going to meditation and healing classes. I have recovered to normalcy. Now I think about the incidents with out feat or pain in my heart. Iam completely healthy now. Thanks for ur all ir concerns. Yes I will definitely stand for my self now. Meditation changed me in to a confident person
     
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  10. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear op. Don't worry. Happy journey. I agree with many senior ilites here.
     

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