My Story Of Infertility

aspha · Sep 10, 2016

Elsa said: ↑

Hello everyone,

I am a 33 yr old female. After over a year of ttc (I started at 30) naturally, I had consulted an ob/gyn just to make sure nothing is wrong with me. All along the ttc journey, I very well knew that my partner had ED and PME issues. We have tried everything possible, to get pregnant naturally. My ob/gyn told me that I am perfectly alright and that in my case, my partner could be having issues. He ordered a semen analysis for my husband. We were devastated when the doctor ran us through his SA results, my husband's sperm count and motility is lower than what is needed to make a baby. We were told that we may get pregnant by chance, but it is highly unlikely that it may happen anytime soon. The doctor reffered us to an infertility specialist.

At the infertility clinic, I had to take countless blood tests and ultrasound tests, HSG test. The doctor suggested that we should go for an IUI. I had IUI done with a hcg shot, with a 4 mill post-wash sperm sample, and 2 weeks later, i had to go in for a blood test. With all the cramping and fatigue, I was very sure that I would get pregnant, the first time. But, the test turned out to be negative. I am a mess now. I deactivated my FB account. Every other friend of mine seems to be pregnant or ready to push. I have no answer to those who advice me to plan for a baby as I am not getting any younger. I very well know that with each passing month, my chances of getting pregnant will go down. But I have tried my best.

At 33, at best, if things continue to go this way, I can probably have one kid, by the time I hit menopuse. I had always dreamt of having 2 kids.

I have been through every post on IUI in this forum, I am not quite sure now if I have to go for another IUI or go for IVF without wasting any time. I am clueless. I appreciate any advice in this regard. Thank you.
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My name is asPha. I am originally from Mumbai, India but for last 8 years I am in Boston, Ma. I was 33 and DH was 34. DH and were married for 5 years when we decided to TTC for 3.5 years. We went the traditional way every other couple does when they decide to start a family. After a year of unfruitful trying we decided to meet the fertility expert. Once in the facility we went through the entire fertility test which came out normal. So we started out with Clomid and timing. We had 5 cycles with this but nothing happened. Then the course went on for IUI for which we did 6 rounds with injectable again with a disappointment. So finally it was IVF's turn. We did 6 IVF cycles of which we were only able to transfer once but with no good news. My doc told us I was facing premature ovarian syndrome and told us I cannot conceive through my own eggs. Our dreams were shattered. I was completely broken down into thousand pieces. After coming to the terms we decided we will go with Donor egg cycle. So we started looking for donor agencies and a suitable donor. Fortunately, we found a donor from Massachusetts itself and things started moving for us. But when the donor meets our doctor, our doctor called us immediately telling us that donor is overweight and was way too high on BMI and had given wrong information about her current weight. So we decided to drop her. Once again we were at square one. Till then 2013 had arrived. We got another donor who was supposed to go for screening in March of 2013 so for us the wait game began....

Days were passing by snail's speed. Then something happened. Something which had never happened with me in my entire menstrual life had happened. I missed AF. Initially I thought it was due to stress and anxiety I am late on my AF. But my DH was optimistic! On day 7 of my missed period he started pestering for a home pregnancy test. I was reluctant about it as I was pretty confident that I am not pregnant after all the pains and disheartening results and even with help from the modern technology nothing worked then how come suddenly I am pregnant. But to put his and my mind to rest we did the pregnancy test a week later which came out to be positive. My heart skipped the beat and we were confused, happy, surprised, scared everything...We were in shock of denial. To confirm we immediately called our fertility center and they called us ASAP for blood work. With a suspicion in our minds and keeping our fingers crossed we went for blood-work. I was never scared of blood draw earlier during the cycles but this time I was dizzy and nervous...We came home and the wait game for much awaited phone call began. Each passing minute felt like a day...And suddenly our phone rang...My nurse from other side was telling us “Congratulations, the test came back positive...”and I was I knew it would be a false alarm....then again nurse said no it’s not a false alarm my dear, u seriously are pregnant and we would like you to come down for ultrasound a week later.. Now, we were in complete disbelief. For next 7 days we took tons of EPT's just to see that positive sign....Finally the day arrived for our u/s. AND.....there it was.....our baby....breathing inside me.....forming....I really was pregnant with our first miracle and joy. We could clearly hear the baby's heartbeat. At that point I was 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant!!!!!!

And by God's grace, I am expecting my second kid at age 37 in February 2017. This one too is natural pregnancy.

So bottom-line is please don't lose hope. In this journey I have learnt a lesson, keep on doing good and positive things you are already doing. In this process I felt husbands are the weakest and they also start blaming themselves and that creates a rift between wife and husband. I would say this is the time to make your bond strong with your husband as it will help both of you to cope with challenges parenthood has to throw once you enter it.

Elsa · Sep 10, 2016

aspha said: ↑

My name is asPha. I am originally from Mumbai, India but for last 8 years I am in Boston, Ma. I was 33 and DH was 34. DH and were married for 5 years when we decided to TTC for 3.5 years. We went the traditional way every other couple does when they decide to start a family. After a year of unfruitful trying we decided to meet the fertility expert. Once in the facility we went through the entire fertility test which came out normal. So we started out with Clomid and timing. We had 5 cycles with this but nothing happened. Then the course went on for IUI for which we did 6 rounds with injectable again with a disappointment. So finally it was IVF's turn. We did 6 IVF cycles of which we were only able to transfer once but with no good news. My doc told us I was facing premature ovarian syndrome and told us I cannot conceive through my own eggs. Our dreams were shattered. I was completely broken down into thousand pieces. After coming to the terms we decided we will go with Donor egg cycle. So we started looking for donor agencies and a suitable donor. Fortunately, we found a donor from Massachusetts itself and things started moving for us. But when the donor meets our doctor, our doctor called us immediately telling us that donor is overweight and was way too high on BMI and had given wrong information about her current weight. So we decided to drop her. Once again we were at square one. Till then 2013 had arrived. We got another donor who was supposed to go for screening in March of 2013 so for us the wait game began....

Days were passing by snail's speed. Then something happened. Something which had never happened with me in my entire menstrual life had happened. I missed AF. Initially I thought it was due to stress and anxiety I am late on my AF. But my DH was optimistic! On day 7 of my missed period he started pestering for a home pregnancy test. I was reluctant about it as I was pretty confident that I am not pregnant after all the pains and disheartening results and even with help from the modern technology nothing worked then how come suddenly I am pregnant. But to put his and my mind to rest we did the pregnancy test a week later which came out to be positive. My heart skipped the beat and we were confused, happy, surprised, scared everything...We were in shock of denial. To confirm we immediately called our fertility center and they called us ASAP for blood work. With a suspicion in our minds and keeping our fingers crossed we went for blood-work. I was never scared of blood draw earlier during the cycles but this time I was dizzy and nervous...We came home and the wait game for much awaited phone call began. Each passing minute felt like a day...And suddenly our phone rang...My nurse from other side was telling us “Congratulations, the test came back positive...”and I was I knew it would be a false alarm....then again nurse said no it’s not a false alarm my dear, u seriously are pregnant and we would like you to come down for ultrasound a week later.. Now, we were in complete disbelief. For next 7 days we took tons of EPT's just to see that positive sign....Finally the day arrived for our u/s. AND.....there it was.....our baby....breathing inside me.....forming....I really was pregnant with our first miracle and joy. We could clearly hear the baby's heartbeat. At that point I was 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant!!!!!!

And by God's grace, I am expecting my second kid at age 37 in February 2017. This one too is natural pregnancy.

So bottom-line is please don't lose hope. In this journey I have learnt a lesson, keep on doing good and positive things you are already doing. In this process I felt husbands are the weakest and they also start blaming themselves and that creates a rift between wife and husband. I would say this is the time to make your bond strong with your husband as it will help both of you to cope with challenges parenthood has to throw once you enter it.
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Congratulations! Stories like this give me hope and make me want to keep trying

Elsa · Sep 10, 2016

MalStrom said: ↑

No offense to you, but surrogacy and adoption usually come later after one has exhausted other options. Why would a woman not try IVF and go straight to surrogacy if she is capable of carrying a pregnancy? A woman can have twins even from natural conception. Most responsible doctors will only transfer 1-2 embryos during IVF. And the same thing can happen if a surrogate is carrying the embryos, since the intended parents will have to create the embryos using IVF.
Please do not say these things to women dealing with infertility. The OP asked specific questions about specific medical issues. She is probably well aware of options like surrogacy and adoption.
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Thanks for understanding what I am going through. This is exactly what I felt when I wrote that I dont intend to go for surrogacy or adoption. Its a tough journey!

Avanti30 · Sep 11, 2016

HI Elsa,
Let me share my story.
We too had low sperm count and low morphology. After my husband consulted with a urologist we found out that the reason for low sperm count was his vericocele veins. These veins obstruct the flow of sperms. So we planned a surgery to remove the obstruction. However, the surgery was no guarantee. We still went ahead with his surgery.
After waiting for around 10- 11 months, husband got his count checked. To our surprise, the count was worst than it was before. With the worst low sperm count, our doctor suggested for IVF. We went ahead with our 1st IVF. It failed, in spite of good embryo quality.
We took a break for a month. Then suggested IUI to our doctor. Doctor agreed to it reluctantly. Hubby's sperm count was unbelievably good when checked during IUI.
We did IUI with 4M post wash 50% motility. We conceived successfully with the 1st attempt of IUI.
Bottom line- Do not lose hopes, keep trying. I believe that there is no perfect formula, whether it is IVF or IUI or natural. Do not lose hopes, keep your mind, body happy and stress-free.

HoneyChinni · Sep 14, 2016

Elsa said: ↑

Thanks for taking time to write a reply to my post.

I guess, age is not on my side at this point. If I were 30 or in my late twenties, I wouldn't have worried about it so much. With every passing month, I am losing hopes of holding a child of our own, in my arms. I havent been able to concentrate on my career because of this problem. I haven't been applying for job positions which require me to travel more than 50 miles a day. I am afraid, in the end, in 4-5 years from now, I will not have a good career nor a baby. I see couples living 100's of miles apart from each other, who meet on weekends, or every alternate weekends, making pregnancy announcements. I sometimes feel, why me!

I spoke to my doctor again, and they suggested laproscopy/hysteroscopy ( to rule out endometriosis) + femara and/or injectables this cycle ( not quite sure what that means). He even asked me to consider IVF, as it has higher success rates over IUI. I am very confused now. I am unable to make a decision.

I would like to know if any one in this forum who has a similar issue as mine ( partner's sperm count and motility issues) has conceived through IUI only. If yes, how many cycles? If not, after how many cycles did you have to go for IVF? Also, does laproscopy/hysteroscopy help with any other issues?

Thanks in advance.
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Hi Elsa,

Sorry to hear your struggle and pain.. I am also in the same boat..I am 35yrs old and still no luck in getting pregnancy.. I can totally understand your pain as I am going trough the same phase too.. You know my cousins marriage is there and I am not going, only to avoid peoples n relatives questioning about kids ..I have gone through all the tests like HSG, Ultra sound.. Everyting is normal from my side..I haven't talked to the doctor about IUI or IVF..we thought enough what should be done and now decided this time we should ask the doctor directly to proceed to IUI or IVF.. Everymonth I wait that I get conceived..but every time its a big disappointment.. You are correct, for some couples its so easy to get pregnant for some its difficult..
but I am not going to lose hope and faith in god.. I am trying to be strong and cool.
I wish you do the same..Never lose hope and give space for negative thoughts.. all you need is strength and positivity.. from now on you will be there in my prayers too.. Be brave Elsa and all the best

Elsa · Oct 9, 2016

An update from my end, not a happy one though! I am planning to go for a 3rd IUI this month. I got 2 back-back IUIs done last month. Unfortunately, I haven't been lucky enough to get pregnant. I have decided to try another round of IUI this cycle. I am not even sure, when to stop IUI's and go for IVF. I have lost all hopes of having a child any time soon. I have put my career on hold, stopped socializing and haven't been in touch with friends and relatives. I can't stop crying when someone shares news about their pregnancy or baby birth. Not that I am jealous of them, but it reminds me of how unfortunate I am. I haven't been able to take up a good job as well, as I will have to keep taking off for clinic visits, tests and procedures. My whole world has come to a stand still. Everytime i get a negative pregancy result, All I can do is, cry as much as I want to, wipe my tears and then try again.

Ihavehope · Oct 9, 2016

Hi Elsa,

If IUI does not work, go for IVF. Put all your efforts and money on IVF with ICSI, because that has far better chances even with low motility and sperm count than IUI and normal IVF.

One more thing - always be positive. When you hear that someone is pregnant, tell yourself that you will be the next one to give the good news to your friends. Keep thinking that and most importantly believe in it. Also as the days pass by, keep thinking and believing that you are getting closer to conceiving and delivering your LO.

PS: I did two IUIs before I decided to go through IVF (4th IVF one was the charm). I was 37 when I conceived.

Agony · Oct 9, 2016

Elsa said: ↑

An update from my end, not a happy one though! I am planning to go for a 3rd IUI this month. I got 2 back-back IUIs done last month. Unfortunately, I haven't been lucky enough to get pregnant. I have decided to try another round of IUI this cycle. I am not even sure, when to stop IUI's and go for IVF. I have lost all hopes of having a child any time soon. I have put my career on hold, stopped socializing and haven't been in touch with friends and relatives. I can't stop crying when someone shares news about their pregnancy or baby birth. Not that I am jealous of them, but it reminds me of how unfortunate I am. I haven't been able to take up a good job as well, as I will have to keep taking off for clinic visits, tests and procedures. My whole world has come to a stand still. Everytime i get a negative pregancy result, All I can do is, cry as much as I want to, wipe my tears and then try again.
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Hello !

Don't start the cycle with so much of negativity .. leave it to the alimighty.
I know ur stressed , I have been there too.. but u have to keep telling urself that it's going to happen very soon.
U give it ur all and leave it to god.
When the timing is right, u will conceive.
Go ahead with this 3rd IUI with only positive thoughts.
Let's wait for the result of this cycle and then think wat to do next ..
All the best ..!
Stickiest baby dust
Pray well,

Rise · Oct 9, 2016

aspha said: ↑

My name is asPha. I am originally from Mumbai, India but for last 8 years I am in Boston, Ma. I was 33 and DH was 34. DH and were married for 5 years when we decided to TTC for 3.5 years. We went the traditional way every other couple does when they decide to start a family. After a year of unfruitful trying we decided to meet the fertility expert. Once in the facility we went through the entire fertility test which came out normal. So we started out with Clomid and timing. We had 5 cycles with this but nothing happened. Then the course went on for IUI for which we did 6 rounds with injectable again with a disappointment. So finally it was IVF's turn. We did 6 IVF cycles of which we were only able to transfer once but with no good news. My doc told us I was facing premature ovarian syndrome and told us I cannot conceive through my own eggs. Our dreams were shattered. I was completely broken down into thousand pieces. After coming to the terms we decided we will go with Donor egg cycle. So we started looking for donor agencies and a suitable donor. Fortunately, we found a donor from Massachusetts itself and things started moving for us. But when the donor meets our doctor, our doctor called us immediately telling us that donor is overweight and was way too high on BMI and had given wrong information about her current weight. So we decided to drop her. Once again we were at square one. Till then 2013 had arrived. We got another donor who was supposed to go for screening in March of 2013 so for us the wait game began....

Days were passing by snail's speed. Then something happened. Something which had never happened with me in my entire menstrual life had happened. I missed AF. Initially I thought it was due to stress and anxiety I am late on my AF. But my DH was optimistic! On day 7 of my missed period he started pestering for a home pregnancy test. I was reluctant about it as I was pretty confident that I am not pregnant after all the pains and disheartening results and even with help from the modern technology nothing worked then how come suddenly I am pregnant. But to put his and my mind to rest we did the pregnancy test a week later which came out to be positive. My heart skipped the beat and we were confused, happy, surprised, scared everything...We were in shock of denial. To confirm we immediately called our fertility center and they called us ASAP for blood work. With a suspicion in our minds and keeping our fingers crossed we went for blood-work. I was never scared of blood draw earlier during the cycles but this time I was dizzy and nervous...We came home and the wait game for much awaited phone call began. Each passing minute felt like a day...And suddenly our phone rang...My nurse from other side was telling us “Congratulations, the test came back positive...”and I was I knew it would be a false alarm....then again nurse said no it’s not a false alarm my dear, u seriously are pregnant and we would like you to come down for ultrasound a week later.. Now, we were in complete disbelief. For next 7 days we took tons of EPT's just to see that positive sign....Finally the day arrived for our u/s. AND.....there it was.....our baby....breathing inside me.....forming....I really was pregnant with our first miracle and joy. We could clearly hear the baby's heartbeat. At that point I was 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant!!!!!!

And by God's grace, I am expecting my second kid at age 37 in February 2017. This one too is natural pregnancy.

So bottom-line is please don't lose hope. In this journey I have learnt a lesson, keep on doing good and positive things you are already doing. In this process I felt husbands are the weakest and they also start blaming themselves and that creates a rift between wife and husband. I would say this is the time to make your bond strong with your husband as it will help both of you to cope with challenges parenthood has to throw once you enter it.
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Your post brought tears in my eyes. God bless

happydheivanai · Oct 25, 2016

Hi Elsa,

Dont worry, Im also in the same boat.

TTC for past 2.5 yrs but due to azoospermia i was not able to conceive. recently we moved to USA FREMONT.

In india ,my husband use to take siddha medicine but no use after coming here he is not taking any medicine

we also dont know what to do how to proceed.

Now a days the infertlity issue was high... no use of worrying god has his own plan.

b positive