A Penny For Your Thoughts: Traditional Marraige And Gay Marriage Concepts

This snippet is about how traditional marriage and gay marriage coexisted and how it changed over the centuries. As mankind evolved, the concept of marriage evolved and took different forms. Here is how:

What is the definition of marriage?
There is no actual definition of marriage, since it is evolving constantly. The basic idea/concept of marriage was to organise sexual conduct. This concept is used, abused, taken several forms over thousands of years. All around the world there is history of all kinds of sexual activities. For a certain time, the love between two men was considered equal to the love between a man and a woman. Even if a man and woman lived together, it was acceptable in the society for the man to have relationships with other men or women. There was no clear definition of who should marry whom, what age is appropriate for marrying or even what kind of relationship one shouldn't have after marriage.

What was the intent of marriage?
In ancient times, the marriage or pairing of a man and woman was considered a trade. As a way of propagating. It was(is) a way of getting relatives (in-laws), making friendships, alliances, expanding the family name, acquiring more lands/empires/countries, gaining a social status. Some cultures even had forced unions. It was not uncommon even for a king to trade off his daughter without her consent. Also it was not uncommon for a king to abduct a princess/queen and use it as a way to expand his kingdom. Polygamy was commonly practised than monogamy.

Marriage between opposite sexes served as a purpose to exhibit power and to procreate. At the same time it also allowed men to pursue pleasure outside of marriage.
Propagating was considered an important and life purpose for men and always had the upper-hand over love and pleasure. The main consideration in same-sex relationships was either love or physical attraction to another person of the same sex.

Did gay marriage exist in ancient times?
Yes. All over the world in many cultures, homosexuals were considered equal to heterosexuals and were allowed to marry. Gay marriages were accepted widely in a few cultures. Others considered it to be a non-procreative activity and allowed partners live together with the exception of a ceremony or ritual. Christianity, islam, buddhism are some religions that accepted homosexuality widely. Hinduism and judaism did not oppose homosexuals and at the same time they were not accepted widely.

How/Why gay marriages were banned?
Two main reasons: religion and culture.
Some cultures viewed homosexuals as less-than-manly since procreation was not a possibility. They played no role in propagating their own culture and religion. Homosexuality came with its own problems like forced sexual relationships performed on younger males. Certain cultures allowed consensual homosexual relationships/unions and condemned forced acts.

What called for stricter laws and appropriate definition of marriage over time was the misuse of power to perform sexual acts and committing crimes.

With the rise of certain religions and religious practices, laws against non-procreative unions were implemented.It is said that around the 13th century laws against sodomy were enforced. Any kind of sexuality and emotions towards a partner that did not result in production of children were negatively influenced by religion and were considered as acts against the religion. A strong-believer of a religion had no choice except to keep his/her feelings/ desires aside and practice what the religion preached. Scholars in ancient times overlooked love and affection and valued the marriage that results in procreation as a serious concept. Homosexuality was also interpreted to be 'third nature' and unnatural.

Ultimately, wide acceptance of a negative outlook towards homosexuals and their marriages - both formal and informal were born with the spread of several religions across several countries. Modifications were done to holy books and scriptures to indicate marriage is approved only between a man and a woman.

What other terms and conditions were in practice under the term "marriage" ie traditional marriage?
Firstly, marriage between same sex couples was eliminated. They were outlawed and the laws were recorded.
Though the below were not recorded, they were practised:
Marriage did not treat men and women equal, even though their union was approved. The woman's family should pay land, gold or items in demand (modern term - dowry) to get her married to a man. Some religions expected all married women to bear children, if they didn't the men were allowed to marry other women.

Further changes in marriage:
A popular belief about life in ancient times was to marry for wealth and to up the man's/family's status. Also to produce heirs. This concept started changing around the 18th century after scholars aka enlightenment thinkers introduced a new way of life - that life is about seeking happiness. It still was a fairly new concept around the time of industrial revolution 19th century and was not widely practised. Gay marriages were still not accepted legally at this time. Marriage between heterosexuals practised the same beliefs. The newest addition was the demand to end unhappy marriages, ie divorce.

For the next thousands of years, laws enforced and expected women to be subservient to men. In the late 19th ad 20th century, marriages went dramatic changes with equal rights for men and women, a control on how many children a couple can have or have no children plus a choice of divorce if the couple was not happy or compatible. Divorces also included parental rights towards children from the same marriage. Marriage evolved to be a legal and consented contract between a man and a woman based on primarily love and happiness in the western culture, thus adding a modern approach to traditional marriages. The other cultures were still evolving around the same time. While some had views similar to the western culture, others followed their own traditional beliefs.

Modern changes to marriage:
The latest development in marriage is that: marriage is an institution where a couple can coexist and be happy.

How this development impacted traditional marriages: higher divorce rates, remarriages, increase in married but separated couples, increase in separated/divorced but living under the same roof couples, more openness to living together and not be bound legally.

How this impacted gay marriages: This is the basis for the fight for equal marriage rights between gays, lesbians and heterosexuals. After US legalised gay marriages in 2015, 21 other countries have legalised gay marriages. However the benefits from a traditional marriage vs gay marriage are different and are still reforming. The progress is now towards marriage equality regardless of gender and that the right to get married is a fundamental right for all irrespective of their sexual orientation.

What could be the future:
Newest concepts evolving are: the complete denial of marriage and finding happiness and fulfilment with self. Marriage may not be a happily ever after concept in the future. Divorce laws could become easily accessible and more flexible. Couples could marry with a preset expiration date on marriage instead of forever. Marriage might lose its overrated significance of being a life-changing event in a person's life.

Will a society devoid of marriage do better than the current one? Will there be marriage equality for all? Will new patterns develop? We can only know if we stay tuned.

There will always be huge changes in marriage. What matters most is that all of these practices were created by mankind towards and against mankind and we will be making more changes. Lets hope that they will work towards our betterment.

 

TQ!!

 

Thank Satchi maam for posting....!!

Having second thoughts...

 

There are certain emotions valued more than true emotions towards another human-being...... which is the real issue in this system...

 

Hi Viswa sir,

The snippet I posted was not just about western culture. It about marriages and their changes in all cultures. Please see here about the eight types of marriages in Hinduism. Dharma was in the books and was in practice too, but not 100%...
Just wanted to point this out here.

Regards,
S.