My Last "india"thread. Plsss Bear With Me..

Sorry - I never responded to this.
I don't know, Anika.

How old are your kids?
Mine went in elementary and still talks about how it was in India. It was just better for her socially. The joy of coming home, throwing her bag and running downstairs to play - that's hard to replicate! I agree, I got busy after getting back so even though I did a play date/movie date etc here and there life got in the way. It's just complicated to have an active daily play routine going. Unless you happen to have kids on the same street and or are that free. It just doesn't happen easily.
Sometimes I do feel like you. It isn't like we don't prioritize the kids and their needs but we do need to do things that make us happy too.
You need to decide if it's going to truly be what you anticipate it to be. Plus the logistics aren't simple. It's quite a lot of things - finances, finding jobs, selling home here, buying there, school admission(it's a chore in itself) etc.

 

At one point, I've felt the same. It felt like something was missing. Couldn't ever put words to it. Especially after coming back. I mean every place has its draw backs but Janmabhoomi is Janmabhoomi. Every time I travel, those landing lights at Bangalore airport gives me such a rush!

All that said, it's best to accept what you have. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Money is important, Anika. Today, I can tell you with conviction that having a better financial situation is helping us tremendously. I used to be the kind that said that it's the least important thing. Even now, I ask my DD to follow her dream and as long as she can survive, money shouldn't be the motivator for finding a passion. But then, money at times can do things for you that you wouldn't have dreamt you would need. So don't discount money entirely.

And self respect is important too. Well, today it doesn't seem all that important but ask those women who take crap from their PILs day in and day out as to how it is like. Don't take what you have here lightly.

It took me years and a lot of conscious effort but now I'm at peace with this home. I actually started calling this place home only in the past couple of years or so.

Try being active in the community. Volunteering for people in this place actually gave me a sense of belonging. It also is a good way of giving back.

You have to get it out of your mind that you are staying home and doing mundane chores while your DH is away at work and wasting your time. That kind of self deprecating thoughts aren't good for you.
And when self pity gets to you, get it out. I don't allow myself to mope in misery for a long time. I give myself a set amount of time to cry, feel bad for myself and then it's time to move on. The more you think about all that's wrong, the more negative you feel. That positivity thread is there for a reason. Try and stay active there. Look for the small things. Training your mind to look for positives actually works. It has helped me a lot in the past few yrs. I actively train my thoughts away from the things I have no control over. I am actively teaching myself to look at the positives. Thinking positive actually begets a more positive outlook in general.
Once you feel positive, you will accept your situation and look for avenues to enrich your life in this country.

This is life, friend. There are too many good things in it to constantly keep looking at what's not working in your favor.