Everyday Seems A Struggle With My In Law

My mil has a habit of shouting at me . First few years I used to keep quiet and answer her quietly . But after having baby I started getting panic attacks whenever I heard news that she is coming to stay for 2 weeks . She kind of does ragging for everything .
ReCently I had to stay with her for 20 days
I want to know if my reaction is right
Some samples
1. Recently my kid is not eating rice. I told her that I will make roti for toddler. She shouted at me saying if I finding fault in her rice. She was not talking but shouting . I replied her calmly that I am telling that Baby is not eating rice . That is why I told. Finally next day even after telling many times she has made rice for baby and telling me to give that . So after she went out I made roti and gave . She is making big fights for this. How should I react
2. I was getting ready to go to mall. I was about to get kid ready after I put on my makeup . She shouted at me that I have to put pants for her , powder , bindhi etc. It was just 5 o clock and I was about to go to malls at 6.30 . She was shouting at high pitch for 10 minutes . I shouted back at her that I will get ready first and then only do for kid . Do you think I did right thing . Night I could not sleep as I shouted at her

 

Gunshoo I want to do the exact same thing as you said. I want to look at her eyes and say calm down and then you can talk to me.
Yesterday when she was shouting at me that I had not put powder for kids, I wanted to do as you said . But instead I was looking at mirror, was getting ready and said in a loud voice , ' You have assumed that kid is already ready to go. I will get ready first and then only stato getting ready' .
For next 2 hours , I felt happy that I shouted back at her . She has been doing this to everyone . But to me , she does it often and in very high pitch voice .
I want to ask her ' mom, why are you screaming such that 100 houses can hear .' She would reply ' even 100 houses can hear . But you are not listening to me' . I want to say ' My ears become deaf if anyone screams .'. Will this reply be fine

 

She talks to her husband and mother nicely and has very sharp ears . Even if I talk from very long distance she can hear like an animal.
Initial years I was patient with her ( inside myself , I was going mad due to her) . Outside I acted as if nothing happened. But how can we ignore when someone screams constantly .
After baby was born , I started being very stubborn and acted as per my wish . For example, she will give all medicines on her own whereas I will take to doctor and listen to doctor . She used to ask me to force feed but I never do . So I started being stubborn in things involved with child .
As I was not listening to her advice ( force feed etc , she started projecting me as bad person who does not respect elders .
In my hubby family everyone blindly follows her and she is like queen . I am already to adjust with her , but her shouting gets on to my nerves .
She always talks to me in screaming voice . Morning too she shouted at me and for 2nd time today , I too raised my voice .
Earlier when she screams I used to be silent and move awat after she shouts . But now a days my BP too is increasing.
I am very much fed up of her .
I am not taking all these matters to hubby as he is waste fellow . He says he loves me . But has never told his mom not to scream at me .
On top of these , they want us to come to their hometown and take on their business. I cannot imagine life with her .
I don't know what will I do if all that situation arises.
I need to keep full stop for her behaviour. But my mom since as of now you are abroad , you don't create problems .
But already I did huge mistake for four years by taking all her Bulls hit and keeping quiet .
Since I was quiet initially , all have thought that I am a coward , silent , nice dil . She shouts at my hubby too but not as much as me and he has grown up with her so he ishould absolutely fine with it

 

She screams at him too . But to me , too much . As he got used to her screaming , he does not mind it . I was grown in a normal cool happy environment . Me ,my siblings , mom uses to laugh most of time , will be joking and used to love home as it was always a happy place . But his house is a scream

Definitely I will try to do what you said ( to respond to tone and not the argument )
. Need little more courage. My hubby is not with me now so I am scared if she will create some drama with this. But I wI'll definitely do it on e day as soon as possible.
Regarding advices , I have succeeded little bit . I tell her indirectly that I will follow my way ..
I will look at sites for panic attacks . Recently I lost all my sleep as she keeps compelling us to take up business. I am convincing my hubby to not go for it . But they emotionally blackmail. So I get scared if I will have to live in he'll permanently .

 

She speaks sweetly with others . Does this to me on purpose.
I Ll trt head done things. Used to do it before . Now with kid not putting on much as I need to attend to her. But thanks for reminding . Ll do it.
She definitely does not need mic as voice is very loud . But uses that loud voice for me , my child , my hubby