Someone Pls Give Some Advice

OP, that's OK. I can understand that. A situation like this would be frustrating for anyone.

Well, she is certainly having a rough time. Losing a husband and divorcing a second can be very traumatic. Think about it. Often in such cases, a woman like that would not be supported by her in laws, especially not after her second marriage. If she is not independent, she would become the responsibility of her parents and/or her brothers. What would you have her do?

Your brother seems to feel a sense of responsibility toward his niece - perhaps because he is fond of her and also because he remembers his obligations to his brother. He remembers his brother being good to him. Even after his brother's death, your husband feels a need to repay him by caring for his daughter. I do not know the full story, but speaking very generally, this sense of duty is a quality to be admired.

This is not fair to you. Sometimes, when people feel sorry for someone else, they go overboard. Such people lose a sense of balance. In trying to be self-sacrificing, they also sacrifice those closest to them, without permission - you in this case, but also your son. After all, your little boy needs his mum too. Gratitude, a sense of duty and of obligation all contribute to a distorted perspective. It's almost as if they imagine that being happy is somehow an affront to the deceased and to others left behind. Your quarrels with each other have made it easier for your husband to push you away.

I get the impression that you do not work and neither does your sister-in-law. You cannot influence her, but perhaps you can attend to your own career, for your own sake. Independence brings its own value, both tangible and intangible.

It must be very tough for you leaving your son with your husband. Do you all live in the same city? Is he well taken care of? Do you get to see him / talk to him often?

I took a quick look at your other posts. Your husband seems to be something of an autocrat, quite oblivious to your needs. There are problems in this marriage more serious than your sister-in-law. She need not be your primary focus.

If you really think that a reconciliation is a possibility for you, then what form might this rapprochement take? You two have been separated for more than a year. What are your conditions for each other to make peace?

 

Why are worried when you are staying away from your H? was he supporting you earlier ans stopped now?

 

What was the cause of the split ? (between u & your husband)

 

He physically and mentally abuses you,expects you to live like a doormat but is all caring for his bhabhi.
Divorce the jerk,get child support and and maintanance.