Plan For Parents - Where To Live

@Cantdecide,
I read your other posts and can see your need to know details.
I am in US past 10 yrs and have known tons of Indian people. so am sure trying to give you the most happening cases.

Most of the immigrants after getting well settled are bringing their parents to US, as the doctors and health care is very good in US. Doing citizenship and they also help with Kids.
Immigrants who love India are also moving to India for parents sake.
Immigrants who have well settled siblings taking care of parents are the luckiest ones,they just visit them often and the sibling in India takes care of parents. This Immigrant may take financial responsibility as the sibling is doing the caring.

very few cases, where parents are left alone in India hiring a age care service, this may happen until the parents are in walking situation. but if they are bed ridden then the relatives talk very bad about this kind of Immigrants who left their parents in INdia to an age care service.

also both parents atleast fine, you can hire services or maid to take care them. But once one of the parent passes away, then you have no choice but to bring over the other parent to stay with you.
My inlaws are old get sick , my husband sends money and visit them or they visit us every year for few months. I see if tomorrow one of my inlaw MIL or FIL die. then the other cannot live alone but to come and stay with us.

 

Some parents are very adjusting and helping. They are flexible in food habits etc so easy.
where as some parents are very tough and always sad.
I would say mostly DIL allowing to let parents stay and bring them over to US is your task. Rest of taking care can be done by husband.
I dont interfere or involve in my inlaws food habits, their health, their health checkups. leave it to husband.
I cook what i usually do and rest is for them to figure out.

First of all, take atleast 5 yrs plus time after marriage, donot bring them until then. Once they are here, let your husband do all caring.

 

In our case both my husband and SIL are in same country (USA) and same city (Boston) as well. Both of them don't want to return to India. Currently my in-laws are going through Green card (GC) process. By God's grace they are very fit and active. plus they enjoy their time here more than in India. We have already started creating events for them. My FIL will be teaching chess to the kids. MIL loves reading so she will be volunteering at the local library and take language lessons (marathi).
Both, MIL and FIL and keertankars, so we are planning to organize their keertans in temples on festivals and even at home. By end of next year they will be moving with us.

For my parents, it's a different story. my sister is yet to get married, she will be getting married soon. my father has not visited me due to visa issues since I came here in 2008. Also, my mom is not comfortable staying with "damad" (son-in-law). So that's a tough nut to crack.

 

GC process so far is going well. Done with the bio-metrics assessment part. Now waiting for interview call.
They had been visiting us every year for 6 months for last 9 years. So they kind of now lifestyle here. They both were working in Mumbai until their retirement in 2002. During their last few years before retirement they started participating in local cultural events, enrolled themselves for variety adult classes for learning art form of keertan.

Plus in our household we do not believe in hiring help on permanent basis. We only hire maids if we are going to have more than 25 people coming to our place. Otherwise we prefer doing our stuff ourselves. Many don't believe when I tell my FIL is a better cook and home-manager than my MIL ( In a way blessing for me, as no kitchen politics as my MIL hates cooking and doesn't really know how to cook! )

Adjusting here too was not an issue, my DH is very active in Hindustani music circle in the area and almost all weekends are packed with shows or practices around the town. They too love and enjoy music so they tag along us. plus my SIL has 3 kids and I have one toddler with second one making an entry in February so the kids make sure there grandparents are busy enough

My MIL's all 4 brothers are here in US since last 30-40 years, and stay in different states so they end-up spending some time at her brothers' place. So they are travelling quiet a bit every time they come here.