Yeah that's right, the lady of the house is supposed to be attentive to others if we sit along with them. That is why I want to go last. . It's considered rude if the lady of the house just bends over her plate and doesn't keep enquiring others if they want something intermittently. I know it's a pain if you are not used to this.
I don't care if anyone looks at my plate, I eat heartily.. But I cant stand if someone takes something from my plate when I am eating. Even if its my husband. There was someone at work who used to take food from everyone's plate even if she had the same thing on hers. It irritates me to the core. Same way I am okay with sharing sauces/chutneys/sambars in the same cups while dipping bajjis or something like that but it has to be really close to me or it grosses me out. Especially no sharing icecreams..
Reminds me of an ex-colleague who brings homemade food and serves some on everyone's plate without asking.
I need to touch water everytime I need to touch anything except rice. Thats ok. But MIL sits at the head of the table with me to her left and ghee, oil, pickes, curd etc on her right. That is exactly where it has to be kept. It is my job to serve only. And no I am not the lady of the house, it is her house which has been conveyed to me in no uncertain terms. So coming back to the point, there is no way I can reach to them so I have to ask her and she gives and then I have to give it back every time. Another thing - she will herself bring ghee, oil and curd to the table at the starting of the meal and take it back at the end of the meal. My job is to lay the table, serve the food and after meals take back the remining food, clear the plates, the table, kitchen etc. Apart from serving them on the table I am not supposed to touch ghee, oil and curd. I find it very strange yet cannot actually ask this to anybody in my in laws side as we are in touch with only SIL and no other relatives. After marriage I was told that Andhra people don't go to any relatives place except for functions. On the other hand SIL with her family is in touch with all relatives. We now live abroad so no functions of relatives also. I have been married for 3 years now and it bugs me a lot. And lastly it is eating everyday not ceremonial thing. Any insights? Thanx for showing so much patience in answering
But by the time evryone finishes food wont be hot at all. I love to eat hot hot food, which I was used in my mom's place except Lunch. Now immediately food is prepared, will ask DH whether he will eat now or later. If he says later, I immediately fill DD's plate and mine, will eat together. I wont believe in men should have food first , women folks at the last. This is not something a restriction in our house. Even though my husband doesn't mind serving himself, my MIL will wait for him to finish , she will have at the end. she hinted me to follow this, I did not mind. Dh usually takes more time to eat, I can not wait if I am hungry.
I would rather not waste time looking at somebodys plate when there beautiful people around and definitely not bothered by them with such interesting thing to do!
In restaurants or parties or marriage functions...people have this tendency of poking their nose in other's plates... But i have learnt to give them a damn...it's my life...my taste...and my waist.... I just chillax...
I had recently read another post about someone being concerned when people stare at them/their face. Now unless we look at their face, which can be considered as staring by some, we will not know if they are staring/looking at our plate. A stare for a stare. We are even
It's a custom in many houses especially Brahmins. I think it maybe to just make sure food is not stuck to fingers while serving....... just a routine cleanliness check. Maybe she feels nobody is as careful or clean as her when it comes to dealing with food.... No that's not true. Maybe your people don't have good terms with their relatives. To keep you away from them they said that to you.
