I faced this problem mostly in Kalyana mandapas mostly When there are so many guests, and dining hall is smaller. It will be so much annoying, These cases buffets lunches would be better. But I can not enjoy buffet lunches with kid, would always look for a chair to accommodate my daughter. At home she wont sit at one place while feeding, but in marriage she wants the place to sit.
I was getting this reminders before marriage eat less , stay thin. Even from my mom because my sissy was on healthier side, it was difficult to get good match.
Similarly, in some communities, men are allowed to eat non-vegetarian food and women are not. The reason being women should be the ones to manage the home efficiently by making sacrifices, including eating less, eating vegetarian food, so so. Total BS, but it is still in practice!
My LO does this too at buffets. That I guess is because different places have different high-chairs plus they also want to match the elevated height like adults. I am a big fan of Kalyana samayal aka wedding feasts. In case of buffets I have a habit of picking up little amounts to all items and bring it to the table first. I don't like walking around multiple times. Guess that could be a reason, but that's only in case of buffets.
In my in laws family, food is served in different courses in Andhra style. First pickle, then pachchadi, curry, dal and then curd with rice being served in every course separately. So the women (me) have to keep an eye on the plates of the family members and keep serving all the time instead of enjoying their food. And ghee, oil and curd is in MILs custody. So keep asking MIL ghee, oil and finally curd every 5 min. It is a pain eating with MIL as she has to keep an eye on who is eating what. How do other Andhra ladies manage? And finally what is the rationale of MIL sitting with ghee, oil, pickle, curd and papad? Ask, serve and then return as if they are not food but nuggets of gold
Back then it was a tradition that the women served the menfolk and kids first. So, when there is someone to serve they do it little at a time. They don't have to put all the items on the plate same time. One at a time is the rule. They watch the plate and serve little by little. Nothing offensive IMO. Its also said you eat more quanitity wise and also peacefully if you are being served. Moms used to watch the kids eat and correct them if required, like check if they washed their hands before eating, sit properly while eating, chew well before swallow, don't drink too much water while eating, eat atleast some of all the items, no talking while eating etc etc., so many rules to inculcate good habits. If mom also sits with them then its sometimes difficult to watch the kids. And then finally after they are done mom eats leisurely too. When my grandma was there, she made sure the family followed it. These days in the name of having family dinner together we all sit together to eat. Infact, I like the old method. If we are meeting with friends or relatives, I prefer the kids and men to finish off and then we ladies can eat peacefully after them.
@SeekingMind thanx a ton for the anwer I do understand your rationale. My problem is that I have to sit and eat with them and parallely keep an eye on 3 other plates and keep serving and eating all at the same time. I am from a different culture where people normally serve themselves so I find it bugging If they let me eat later I would really be relieved. Twist in the tale is that MIL wants to eat with her son, but at the same time wants to look modern also. If I eat later, the modern tale gets punctured Last question please - what is the rationale of MIL sitting with ghee, oil, pickle, curd and papad? Ask, serve and then return as if they are not food but nuggets of gold I am supposed to serve them and then return them to her. And not supposed to touch papad. Frying and serving papad is her exclusive right. Am I missing something?
Not very sure why she has to sit with those items. But, generally we are careful with ghee, pickles,curd and make sure that other items don't touch , because these items are meant to stay long while others get spoilt quickly. But papad?? I never heard that about papad.
