How To Stop Being Bummed Out?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Sparkle, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Vaidehi,

    Really appreciate your detailed response. Thank you for taking the time to write this response.
    I agree guys hold a lot within themselves. But they also seem to know easily if the problem is important and needs to be solved or not. (similar to @kcb 's policy). I wonder why we are so different in facing a situation, when the same situation is placed in front of both genders. If you see IL forums, there are more issues/vents from women than from men.

    I also agree that personality plays a role in some cases.

    Self-improvement is the motive behind this thread. I am not restricting myself to a specific incident. I get bummed over a large scale issues (like girls facing public harassment as an example) and over smaller problems in personal life (say, disagreement with in laws). I am trying to find strategies like you said.

    You have shared many ways to cope or face the situation and they are really helpful.
     
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  2. MNR

    MNR Gold IL'ite

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    We should also adapt don't care attitude to some extent.
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Cliched as it sounds, awareness of the wastage is the first step towards rectifying the habit. And when this nagging sense of 'I am doing something not good for me' comes from within, all the better.

    Other than that, as you grow older, experience and observation, and some natural dwindling of dispensable energies : ) do help - letting the small stuff slide and shrugging of the shoulders come more naturally. I just shrugged as I tried to find a better word for 'naturally' and typed it anyway. : ) : )

    Well said. A similar observation has helped me at times. When I see a thing that could bother us both, hardly have an impact on him, I try to follow suit. Or at least, am inspired to.

    The short form of it.. the one that I will write with a flourish should a young girl or woman ask me to write on her 21st birthday card : ) is: When you are brooding over the insignificant, then it is a sign that you need a bigger joy or bigger problem in life. Ideally: the bigger problem coming first, and conquering of that leading to the bigger joy.

    The long: at every point in life have a bigger goal - can be anything: a course that you've paid for, and takes concentration, a career improvement (a well-defined one) that you can work toward, a life to-do such as writing family's will and maybe even living trust creation, getting more involved in child's school or a community effort. Just like in relationship forum, women are advised to make liquid cash less available to deter husband from sending too much to his folks...avoid having too much 'free' or 'me' time.

    Other than that, people will vex you. If there are some who do this on a continued basis, cut them from your circle if possible. This can be any kind of person - I for one find the overly cheerful, or too much 'earth saver tree hugger' , or overly eager to apologize kind, to grate on my nerves. So, I minimize interaction with them.

    There will be occasions when your hurt, anger, moping is justified. What to do in such occasions depends on the nature of the offence, your personality, and your long term goals with that person. Do consider not always taking the high road. We live in times when that can be harmful. Taking the high road when not feasible is like following rules too much in India traffic. You can become roadkill. A detour from the high road to the fish market, to give a fitting reply, is at times, very needed and unavoidable. The efficient delivery of such response and reaction is a good skill to cultivate, even if late in life.

    Most important and self-refilling strategy is, I think, to have a bigger goal, at any given time. Something that is challenging, yet attractive enough that it makes you yearn for more time to devote to it - something that makes going to sleep seem like a chore.

    =====
    The 'you' in the above sermon is generic, not addressing 'OP' : )
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2016
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  4. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Rihana,
    This is one of your finest posts. I like this side of you in IL a lot. :thumbsup:
     

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