It Is Never A Good Time!!!! Vent!!

YoGirl · Sep 30, 2016

Will some calls or invitations from ur maternal side help for now? Like the mom n dad of ur cousin or ur dad calling and telling him repeatedly about the event.

catwalk · Oct 3, 2016

Your wish and concerns are normal. If you have such deep affection with family, why did you choose the life of an NRI? You could have married a person who has Government job in your place and settled there. You could have the same social life as before.

Due to professional reasons and for a better life, you have decided to move abroad. Decision is already made. So you must be ready to sacrifice many things for the sake of your future. You may miss many precious things in your life. You may loose many precious moments in your life. But you have chosen this route and there is no way back.
You must look forward and take the best solution for your future.

SeekingMind · Oct 3, 2016

Your reason for being sad is quite understandable but crying and feeling depressed will not solve this. Please talk to your husband clearly as to what his reasons are. Ask him if its fine if you and the kid go. He can stay back if he has work problem or something else on his mind. As faras green card process is concerned, India trip is not at all going to affect that. You can search up on internet too. Even if you go, you will be back in max couple of months, so that should not have any impact on your visa status. If your husband still is doubtful, try asking someone among friends or acquaintances who have gone through this process.

Sandhya13 · Oct 12, 2016

Rihana said: ↑

Even better, leave him in the airport.
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I wish I could do that.. lol

Sandhya13 · Oct 12, 2016

justanothergirl said: ↑

Something else bothering him...perhaps?.
Play along for a few days and see if he opens up.
How are things on his work front?
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yes, you were right.. we had an open, calm discussion over the weekend.. recently one of our acquaintances had a visa rejection for different reasons that are not even applicable to us.. but still since we just bought our home (most of savings went as down payment) he is a bit insecure to make a trip right away.. because that means we have to go for visa stamping again and God forbid, if visa is denied we would have huge financial loss..

my point is that this situation is not going to change until we get our GC which is a decade from now.. if he is okay going for a vacation a couple of years from now, then what is the difference? He does not give a straight answer to this question :-(

Sandhya13 · Oct 12, 2016

I am extremely sorry for replying late..

I thank all of you for taking time to respond to me..

eternalnomad said: ↑

Just go to India with your child. If your husband is making excuses, leave him at home.
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Rihana said: ↑

Even better, leave him in the airport
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poovai said: ↑

OP,

Don't wait for him, if you want just go by yourself with the kid and it is far better than fighting/arguing in front of your side of the family.
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kcb said: ↑

OP, if it's not a good time for your H, then you go with your son to India and enjoy the occasion.

Let your H wait for the right time to visit India
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viki123 said: ↑

@Sandhya13
Men are always men, they never go by emotions like us. My DH did the same thing when he got H1 and postponed his trip so many times due to same reason us DH mentioned and whet to india after 6 years after he got this EAD.
I would suggest, you go alone with DS and have good time with them, instead of requesting DH.
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I wish I could do that. My DH does not agree to this. He is very concerned about letting me travel with our extremely active 2 year old. Unfortunately I don't have this option :-(

Sandhya13 · Oct 12, 2016

BDivya said: ↑

Oh Sandhya, sorry to read your post here. Hope to help you in some means.

Do you think other than visa issues your H has some other red flags in India which he is trying to avoid?? because 4 years is already too late, and then 2 more years of wait will be very long indeed. Talk about this to your H.

If its only visa issues, then try to ask him multiple times citing the reason that after the second one it might be even more troublesome to manage two kids and money wise also it may demand more than the current situation. If this doesnt work, then you may probably have to travel alone.

Best of luck, Sandy !! TC
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Thanks dear.. I exactly did that and am not successful so far!!

Sandhya13 · Oct 12, 2016

SGBV said: ↑

Ask your husband whether it is ok to go alone. If his work, visa and some other matters are bothering him, then don't disturb him right now. May be he is actually not ready. May be he sees some red flags when it comes to visa processing with the travel. Whatever it may be, probe him further with an option that he doesn't have to come if he really doesn't wanna come.
If he agrees to your lone visit (of course with the kid) now, then understand his concerns and prepare to go alone.
Don't worry about the lone trip. You will make it. Good luck.
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Yes, he is not ready yet.. but also unwilling to send me alone with kid..

Sandhya13 · Oct 12, 2016

catwalk said: ↑

Your wish and concerns are normal. If you have such deep affection with family, why did you choose the life of an NRI? You could have married a person who has Government job in your place and settled there. You could have the same social life as before.

Due to professional reasons and for a better life, you have decided to move abroad. Decision is already made. So you must be ready to sacrifice many things for the sake of your future. You may miss many precious things in your life. You may loose many precious moments in your life. But you have chosen this route and there is no way back.
You must look forward and take the best solution for your future.
Click to expand...

If someone told me that I would be a NRI while I was in college, I would just laugh at them because I thought I would never choose to live away from my family.. I just took things as it came in my life and now I am living far away from my FOO.. I don't regret this decision and have no plans to go back and settle down in India.. so I guess I have accepted the bitter truth that I may be missing some/many occasions.. however, I am not going to give up on this as this was something we planned before until DH thought otherwise.. thanks for you reply!