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Property Belongs To Whom?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by SeekingMind, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    the only practical solution I can think of is get an evaluator to evaluate the current value of the land and the house. sell the house. Everyone gets their share+ the son gets whatever the value of the building is. The mother can then write a will and leave her share to her daughter or can give it to her while she is living. That's what usually happens with disputed property. you have to settle for whatever you can get. You cannot wait for the investment to grow and profit from it.
    P.S.- If they go the legal route, I doubt the son can prove that he spent all that money to build the house and the daughters can get a bigger share.
    If the daughter wants to remodel and for whatever reason the son doesn't want her to, it should not be done and no one should put pressure on him to let her do it.
     
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  2. JustAnotherMom

    JustAnotherMom Platinum IL'ite

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    Does this mean, in this case the decease husband's share is split with mother in case if she is alive, and she can give it to whom ever she want to?
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Mother?The children's mother or deceased mother?(both are legal heir)
    In this case the mother is the deceased husband's wife and she gets an equal share(in this case 1/4th of the property) and she can do what she wants with it.
     
  4. Lakshmi6197

    Lakshmi6197 Gold IL'ite

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    As per the Hindu Succession Act in case the mother of the deceased is alive, she will also get an equal share. In the current case if the grandmother (father's mother) was alive, there would be 5 equal shares in all assets. One for grandmother, one for wife and one each for all children. Sorry I know of the act governing hindus only. You can read the synopsis online. Its neither complicated nor long.

    And if you go to the court, the court does not recognize who paid for what. Since the property was in the name of the father, all the heirs - wife and children will get an equal share.

    This case is an education for all. In money matters nothing is implied and we all should protect our and our children's interests.
     
  5. Lakshmi6197

    Lakshmi6197 Gold IL'ite

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    @SeekingMind : Who takes care of whom should be a matter of love and circumstances and not about inheritance. What has irked me in this post is that the since the daughter has been taking care of her mother, everything should go her way. When you take the high moral ground, you do not begrudge your brother moving away for whatever reasons. You give the impression that the son lives in US simply to escape the responsibility of his parents. Is it so? And if circumstances were so bad that he needed to find refuge in a distant land to escape his parents, my sympathies lie only with him.

    And I am not talking of empty air. I supported my mother for almost 15 years mentally and financially. Yes she has property which my sister's husband and I helped her secure but we sisters do not expect anything out of it. After I got married my married sister is taking care of her coz she lives nearby and her own MIL lives with her. My mother does not want to go to stay with my brother. Thats ok with us. We ensured that she will be financially secure and will not need to depend on anybody financially.

    My husband took care of his mother for almost 20 years. He did more for his mother than I did. Again she is financially secure courtesy her son. And he also expects nothing from her - just consideration and love. We have stayed away from MIL for only 2 years. Else she was literally waited upon. This we do (even I) out our sense of responsibility towards her. That I don't get along with her is an understatement but a lot is forgiven coz today I live at my own terms. From behind the scenes I make sure that she is comfortable. On her face I hardly speak. I don't need to go very far. In my own siblings and my parents' siblings I have seen "kutch rang pyaar ke aise bhi". Loosely translated - the shades of love are varied, strange but true.
     
  6. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes it also is a practical matter of rupees annas and paise like my dad would say. I can say this with a reasonable amount of experience. Love is good just not enough when u have ailing parents. A child left closest to the parent should not be made solely responsible for the physical caregiving.
    No she is protecting herself. I wish more daughters and sons do this.
    Its very hard for a woman with such conditions to live alone. They fall down …forget things…get sick...these are real problems old people living alone face each day.
    The son is not giving any viable alternative for the care of his mother. Buying a flat(Which will be in his name and an investment )while asking his sister to take care of his mother is not a fair solution.

    She needs respite and while we are at it be compensated. I see nothing wrong in 3 siblings sharing the load whatever their terms are. Hiring full term care givers is expensive. Dont use ur siblings as a free option just because u have the excuse that u are not around.

    I cannot understand why. The sympathy if any should lie with the widow who needs to handle this.
     
  7. Lakshmi6197

    Lakshmi6197 Gold IL'ite

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    I do not know how people who have stayed for long and have got immigrant status live and neither do I have any idea of US. But where I live currently is a first world country and I have an idea how the other wives and I save money.

    1. Anything that can be carried from India we do - clothes, medicines, spices, pickles, towels, bedsheets, cushion covers etc etc. This time I brought 2 pillows also - coz my husband likes hard pillows which I could not find here.
    2. Most families watch movies online. Theaters are for India.
    3. We eat out max once a month. Restaurants are for India.
    4. The only time we buy clothes is 50% off. Desirable is 70% off. Some stuff we have to buy here. It is not available in India. People call their friends to inform of good deals.
    5. We try to go out to only those places (museums, shows etc) where entry is free. Cyclically there are some free days for almost all places and people keep searching and spread word about such days.
    6. Ice-cream is usually a home affair as it is exorbitant outside.
    7. We travel almost an hour each way to get cheaper groceries.
    8. Most sweets and savories are made at home.
    9. Anybody who has 2 kids goes to drop and pick up kids from school to save school bus fee. Total travel time each day is 3-4 hours on an average.
    10. I go rarely to a parlor here as I don't need much eyebrow work and rest I manage by myself. Nobody I know goes for more than eyebrows. I never did anything myself in India.
    11. Cabs are taken when we have more than 1 suitcase per head i.e. when we travel to India. Apart from this in 2 years I have taken a cab twice. Once when we had an appointment and got late due to unforeseen circumstances and once when there were no buses an that particular route that day and the nearest bus stop was a couple of km away and having walked for a couple of hours earlier, we couldn't just walk any further.
    12. I missed the birth of 2 nephews, my school reunion, a couple of weddings. I could not travel to see a beloved aunt when she was ill as I was here and she passed away before I went back.

    People who come for a few years do these things all the time. I have met a veteran who has been abroad for almost 15 years and she also does some of the above things but has generally loosened up a lot. OP after living here I have come to respect the effort people make to live here. Despite inclement weather, strange food and an alien culture, people live and work to make their families' lives better. Most of them will save every penny they can and when we housewives in particular go to India, we cannot help but envy our sisters back home. It is not easy to uproot yourself every few years and transplant in another country. And MIL & SIL think I am living in some Shangri-La :BangHead::BangHead::BangHead:
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2016
  8. bron

    bron Silver IL'ite

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    @SeekingMind do you have any idea that son spent on construction..does the land totally belong to your fil's brother or did his son contribute in buying land? Also the total construction cost of the house was done by the son or just a share? Thwn ur fil can just suggest his brother's son to tally the construction cost when selling the house and share among three..or if he is nit going to sell he can just share the land cost among his sisters
     
  9. bron

    bron Silver IL'ite

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    [QUOTE="Lakshmi6197, post: 38865
    And why has the son in law done a favor by letting his wife take care of her parents? Nobody is supposed to be grateful to the DIL for letting the DS take care of ILs. Thats her job. When we are talking of the law let us stick to the law. Please check Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 where daughters are also liable to take care of their parents physically and financially. And why not talk of the other daughter? Why is she not in the picture - law says she is..[/QUOTE]

    I so so second this..
     
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  10. bron

    bron Silver IL'ite

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    @SeekingMind your( the daughter's) claim that the daughter has right to remodell the 1st floor accrding to her wish and live there just because she took care of ageing needy parents physically and emotionaly is similar to the son's claim where he helped his father to construct house financially..it makes no difference both are materialistic and oppurchunists
     
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