Didn't Able To Understand Her Family Wish.

maleindia · Sep 25, 2016

Again come to your website for help.
Ladies need solution from personal problem, Please help.

Same problem still continued, I didn't understand what I do. I tried to talk to her, she says that I also need such things, but didn't want now.
I noticed some weird things in her behavior since our marriage but ignored always like:
1). She didn't do things like back ache massage when I really need it and require it because of pain I face or feel in my body. I didn't understand what halt her, i think she afraid to become less modern while doing this for me.
2). I got information from her relative that her mother taught her that she should not do some things for me like cook chapati for me, clean my clothes, etc. I really don't understand why my wife not able to understand the meaning of marriage.
3) I told her father, brother, mom, etc. about my problem, people only listen no one do anything.
4) I am also feeling like I had become impotent and because of fear I am not able to concentrate on talking any step. And also afraid about her feature, because I read most of time women's life become problematic during second marriage.
5) My family also worried about my situation and I am holding them to take any major action. Their action heart all, sometimes I feel to go to court and do things but going to court only gives bajeeti nothing else and that hampers both sides not only me or her. She got new habit she slaps me now a days without worries, sometime I feels to reply back with tight slap, but halt to make the relationship work out.

In movies I saw how people of girls side always look poor and innocent, but here case is just opposite. Please help It made my life miserable. I don't want divorce and do multiple marriages want to live peacefully.

Iamagoodgirl · Sep 26, 2016

op you have wrote you health is decreasing because you frequently masturbate?
You need to see doctor for that .That also sex specialist.
Do you just have higher drive? How about wife?
Is she plain refuse to get close to you? Or it happens but rarely?

No matter what do not give her huge money and property.

If problems are getting to the point that you both want divorce please see family counselor.
Dont try to explain your problem to relatives.Your problems are mostly too personal to talk.
You need professional person to understand that.Also relatives might just spread bad word about you because many people in India see people with higher drive as something bad or selfish,creepy ,not decent etc.So dont talk about it to relatives.

guesshoo · Sep 26, 2016

You have hurt her terribly and have let it fester for so many years without resolution!
Now clearly she has lost hope and can only think about needling you and poking you where it hurts most.

Do not bring your parents of family into it. They will invariably gang up against her or that's how it will be perceived. It won't help things. As an adult, contact a marriage counsellor and try your best to make your wife go with you. If she refuses, you still go alone.

No one else can solve your medical problems but yourself. Contact a urologist immediately. You have to sort your problems out, OP. No one else can do it for you.

Please do not bring a child into this world until you have sorTed your relationship out. Other people mindlessly asking for a grandchild ought not have an impact of you actually having a child. In this state you amd your wife aren't in a place to be fit parents for a child.

maleindia · Sep 26, 2016

Iamagoodgirl said: ↑

op you have wrote you health is decreasing because you frequently masturbate?
You need to see doctor for that .That also sex specialist.
Do you just have higher drive? How about wife?
Is she plain refuse to get close to you? Or it happens but rarely?

No matter what do not give her huge money and property.

If problems are getting to the point that you both want divorce please see family counselor.
Dont try to explain your problem to relatives.Your problems are mostly too personal to talk.
You need professional person to understand that.Also relatives might just spread bad word about you because many people in India see people with higher drive as something bad or selfish,creepy ,not decent etc.So dont talk about it to relatives.
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She tell that I will kill self if you do any such thing. She not permit me to do anything, If I will try she slept me and fight with me. But she can't try to understand me. She sometimes behaves like an kid like she knows I am in pain, but didn't like to help me. I told her that I need help, but she totally ignores it. Like for example, I feel back pain and tell her to massage it to get relief, so I can get sleep, she clearly refused it to do so. She not even think to serve food to me. She eats first before I come to home and then I will go to eat self after coming to home. She takes scooter with her and when I say I need it, she say you have to tell me before and if I say I have important work and I need it, she take it in morning silently without telling me. If I told her to stop fan, she continue with it because she want it. I didn't feel any sign for adjustment. I don't feel she understand the meaning of marriage or might be she is not come out from her fantasy world.

APS45 · Sep 26, 2016

Guy, you seem to have invited all these by yourself. I just read your first posting also.

How on the earth you tell your wife that you married her for sex? Sex is significant and integral part of marital relationship, but you don't marry a woman for the need of sex. Your stupid statements made her feel like a sex worker, you are being punished for that, and rightfully so. Make a sincere apology to her, and ask her forgiveness.

Secondly, masturbation does not affect your health unless otherwise you feel guilty about that. In fact, this is the best way to get relived instead of reaching out prostitute, please check with any qualified physician, he or she will vouch what I have said. As far as the physical relief is concerned, there is no difference whether you had vaginal sex with a woman or you masturbate. Masturbation does not add any additional burden to body, there is no proof that it will affect health. But everything has a limit. Eat healthy and balanced food, keep yourself physically active (an hour of brisk workout), have a reasonable work-life balance, you will have all the energy you need.

Be sincere, understanding and caring to your wife, earn her love and respect for you. Make her feel like she is special and indispensable in your life. Do this with your natural behavior, with what you can afford, and be consistent. It will take time for your wife to believe you and accept you now. But you have no other option but to be patient, rest will fall in line.