First Step To Get Out Of A Marriage?

As a first step, please consult a good divorce lawyer. Everyone's situation is different. If you are on a visa make sure your lawyer knows how to handle this. Usually you will need permission of both parents for the child to travel. If the child is a US citizen make sure you are following the correct procedures.

 

op first calculate how you are going to survive without husbands income.Look for flat on rent.Do you have any relative in USA?

 

If you have kid , then you don't leave house,make your husband pack and leave.IF you are aiming for permanent separation/Divorce , consult a good lawyer and get advice from him/her. Prepare yourself mentally/emotionally/financially ready before planning for separation. Make sure you can look after you and your kid without his help after separation. Also if you have family nearby or someone they would support you ,take help from them.

 

I agree with the ideas above but I think the very first thing to do when you have decided to leave the marriage is to tell your spouse.

Hope you have shared with your husband that you want to opt out of your marriage. It's a difficult conversion to have. Do so in a careful and sensitive manner. Who knows - some men end up asking for a chance to fix the marriage & in your case you may be inclined to think about it. I wouldn't normally advice someone to consider such a thing but you guys have some history together.

If you feel conflicted or feel you need to first talk to someone sensible before starting the divorce process, please speak to a therapist or someone whose opinion matters to you and whose judgement you trust.

 

Hi op,
First step would be financial independence . Second would be to test the waters first. Find a place to rent. Make sure you have some friends or family for emotional support. Third consult a lawyer . Fourth have a mature conversation with your husband and say you want a temporary separation . Be very cool and practical, assure him he can meet his child when ever he wants. Be firm that this dysfunctional relationship is not acceptable to you. . Gauge your own feelings as you do all this. Your intuition is your best guide. It's a major life decision and you are bound to have second thoughts every step. But if it's really the right thing for you, you will have the inner strength to do it. If it's not at least you have figured that out.

 

@Shreema86 I actually like your answer better than mine ! And looks like someone has it all figured out

 

Have you considered seeing a marriage counselor and settling the matter amicably instead of taking an extreme step of divorce?

 

Madras2018, it's all in theory! Practically there might be so many deviations , nothing happens the way we want it to, but at least there are no limits on thinking in our minds.

 

Dear OP - I am in the same position as you are. I want to get out of this relationship but if i do that i have no clue on how i would survive . I have negative support from my family and i don't have a great job - honestly tats my fault, i never really worked hard to reach anywhere in life. I am earning the maximum i could earn in my position else i would have to move to a senior position and I really don't have the personality for that. And like many other women I am bad when it comes to handling finances(sorry for being sexist). i wonder if the move will be like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. i always saw myself as a companion to someone not as a strong independent woman.Maybe i was raised that way. so many dreams that i had - having children, sending them to the best schools, being a women who could handle both personal and professional life together - all ultimately bit the dust.