Nary A Stitch

One of the most bizarre spectacles I used to see few years ago when I took my lab for her morning walk was a Digamber Jain muni jogging on the footpath looking not-so-smart in his birthday suit. No he was not exposing himself. He was surrounded by smart guys in track suits who were running along with thim or around him so that you didn’t focus your eyes on where you shouldn’t


But Jimmy was smart. Her intuition ensured she wasn’t fooled. She realized that the guy had nary a stitch on. While I was trying hard not to be in stitches over it she barked furiously showing that she wasn’t amused at a human usurping an animal’s right to be unclothed. She has always been a snob and for a canine who doesn’t wear a damn thing, has a keen dress sense. While she would go out of her way to be friendly with well dressed people, Shabbily dressed people were the target of her ire as she would bark furiously at them. You can imagine what would have been her reaction to someone in a state of total undress.


Because of Jimmy’s hostility to Digamber Jain munis I changed her morning walk time so that we didn’t run into His Unclad Holiness.


I was reminded of this when recently a guy in in the nude addressed the Haryana legislative assembly. Yes he was a Jain muni and people heard him without catcalls or whistles. Hats off to you man! You sit before hundred plus people in that state without batting an eyelid. You deserve a brazenness oops sorry bravery award.


It is good to know that he remained unmolested among a big crowd but these religious nudists are not always safe in their own areas. When in school once with a few friends I cut classes and went to a movie. The movie theatre was quite close to a jain temple and after the movie we were going past the temple and we saw a Digamber Jain muni sitting in a mandap in a meditative pose. Suddenly we realized that one of our friends, a prankster of the first order, was missing. He had darted into the temple.


Within minutes we heard loud shouts and a cannonade of ungodly words from the temple. Our friend came running out chased by a few people with sticks who seemed to have forgotten the Jain commitment to non-violence.



We had no alternative but to run with him and soon outran the pursuers. “Awright, what did you do there?” I asked the mischief monger who was still giggling. “I made that naked guy’s you-know-what wag and he shouted at me in a lingo that would have made a sardarji truck driver blush” he said. Our reaction was a cocktail of amusement and horror. Horror because we were probably nearly lynched and amusement .... well,what else do you expect from a bunch of recalcitrant teens who bunk classes to watch movies.?


We are a funny nation. Naked guys address legislative assemblies unscathed and we have a culture minister who advises women tourists from abroad how long their skirts should be to avoid getting raped. Oh sure rapes depend on how long a woman’s skirt is and women in saris and salwar kameezes don’t get raped at all.


But this gives me an idea to increase employment opportunities. A moral tourist police force can be created that will give jobs to thousands. These guys will go around with tapes measuring the length of tourists’ skirts and take punitive action against those whose skirts do not meet the required specifications. The punishment could include a sound thrashing by bhakts who love to do such stuff. Morality levels will then skyrocket and reach the stratosphere or ionosphere.


Dear Tourism Minister Mahesh Sharma, great that you prescribed the correct lengths for women tourists’ skirts but as minister of culture have you given a thought to protection for digamber Jain munis? How about making it obligatory for them to wear a particular length of cloths to protect them from possible threat to their rears from lusty gays?

 

Akanksha don't be surprised the way country is going they would make it part of a compulsory dress code for women to wer saris with their heads covered.Governments here are famous for abdicating all responsibility and passing the buck. Our safety is our own concern and not that of the powers-that-be.

 

Nirvan Bhavan eh? I hope some BJP honchos aren't reading this. Otherwise they might pick up the idea.

 

The government is on the one hand trying to impose a puritanical dress code inspired by Hindutva agenda and on the other washing its hands of all responsibility of protecting the citizens.

 

Very pathetic.