Suggestion Please - Sil Life Is Becoming Hell Because Of Her Ils

I was in the exact situation and It's my brother and bhabhi rescued me.
First bring her to a safe place, I beleive there's still time to think about pregnancy and job. For the moment she can apply for leave and take it from there.
Divorce is a sin in many communities. Stay strong with her and for her

 

Hope your SIL's situation gets better. But make sure she is confident that all of you are behind her and ready to do anything for her. She need lot of moral support now.

 

This is more scary... Strange and tricky!!

- I can't trust this FIL who says he doesn't aware of this at all, despite of living under the same roof. This shows either he is lying or his sheer negligence about his own family. Both ways he can not be dependable.

- I can't trust the MIL and SIL. They may pretend to change. But true change will never happen unless they repent for what they have done, and truly apologized without any force. In this case, for whatever the reason, they pretend to have changed.
This is more horrible than their actual hatred. In this case, they are forced to act good. They must be supper angry with your SIL for revealing everything about them, and talking strong.
So, your SIL must be very careful during this stage right now.
Beware, they could even mix poison in her meals, and claim she had done something to abort the baby. Since your SIL herself mentioned about abortion.

- The husband of your SIL is the main actor in this drama. He is unfortunately not in this picture. His mom and sister could twist the info as per their taste and project your SIL as a very bad person for this matter. Not sure how stable he is right now, and how he trusts his wife in this matter. If he isn't helpful, it would be very difficult for your SIL to live with them.
Because the fight is gonna be completely different from now on... They won't directly abuse her, yet they do everything to spoil her life.

If I were you, I would advice my SIL to get out of the house for now.. Immediately.
She doesn't have to create any drama or give a reason. She can always take rest and relax at her parents place, provided she is pregnant with some sickness (Read typhoid, malaria etc).
Ask her to take a long leave, and pack her bags. But don't inform this anytime before she actually leaves.

Discuss with a lawyer about all the options even the D thing if needed. Knowing everything will not harm you.

See whether she could get a transfer somewhere else at least. If her parents' place is not possible, at least somewhere else would still make her leave that hell citing work reasons. She will be fine all alone, even though she is pregnant, she should be able to manage alone rather than living in that hell.

An unmarried SIL around her age is always a threat to your SIL. Not to blame all the unmarried SILs.

Off late, unfortunately we are hearing so many negative stories about such SILs here. The natural jealousy of women, and their fear and insecurity about their own life would make them behave evil like this. Her SIL must be competing with her for the very matter that she is married and settled. She may be yearning for a marriage (since she is older to her) but for some reasons her marriage is not fixed. Blame the society, that is for sure adding fuel to the fire. Needless to say the anger and unhappiness of her mom for the same reasons.

Living happily before 2 unhappy losers is almost next to impossible. They will never allow your SIL to happily lead a life at their home, unless her SIL is married and happily settled elsewhere.


So, she must look for a way to get out of that hell. Her job is the only way out for now. Work on it, and do that silently.
Make her an independent woman, with own financial and emotional dependence. She will be fine with you all around her.

 

Dear,

Hugs to you and your SIL. It is better to bring to your place as soon as possible, at-least stating her health conditions. What will you do if something negative happens, after her MH returned. It is not the right time to take chances.

Her FIL, can do anything, can change anyways.....being a cop himself, will know all loop holes.

Better bring her ASAP. Prayers with her!

Luv
Shrivni!

 

Are they trying to stall her so they will have the grandchild?
I am very suspicious of people who suddenly claim to change. They might just be putting up an act until the fuss dies down.Make sure your SIL keeps a bag packed with all her important things (leave it at a friend's house if necessary), ask her not to reveal any plans to the in-laws and have arrangements for her to leave at a moment's notice.

 

Hello Priya,

Something doesn't feel right here.

I am sceptical of her in-laws claim of change.

I am worried that that they are waiting for her defences to come down or her husband to comeback at which point they can cause some harm to her.

They may use her words of not wanting to continue with her pregnancy as an excuse to cause her harm.

Please ask her to be vary of them and be extremely careful around them.

I would strongly suggest that you bring her to your home as you had planned or have your cousin bring her to his home. Don't leave her alone with them.

Please have your husband and FIL call for a Panchayat / community meeting to put the reality of the situation in the open. This will ensure that there is no pressure on your SIL if she decides to part ways and also make sure that the In-laws know that your family community will go for them if your SIL is harmed.

I don't believe a man who can rape his wife will ever be a good husband or a good father.

I wish you all happiness.
Mani75

 

OP,
@SGBV
@mani75
@MalStrom
are right.
I was alarmed when you said she is staying back alone & they know everything. Please bring her back at once. Family Panchayat can happen at your place.