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Not Able To Go For Job But Always Thinking About What To Do

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Slim55, Aug 26, 2016.

  1. Slim55

    Slim55 Senior IL'ite

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    After 1 day thinking I found my mil psycho mind and my unreasonable thinking only my problem not my husband. Please read my thoughts KashmirFlower.
     
  2. googleearth

    googleearth Silver IL'ite

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    I have a few suggestions to earn money why don't you start a daycare? Or lunch Tiffin providing service. I knew a women who was a doctor in India who worked for cash for her at home daycare because she was on h4. people pay around $1200-$1500 for daycare. You can start by taking 1-2 kids if you charge $1000 per kid you will be earning $2000. People over here might say it is illegal and you need authorization to start a daycare but taking in 1-2 kids is like taking care of your friends kids. Since you have a B Ed it will be such a selling point. Try putting your ad in sulekha us and see the response most of Indian parents try to look for Indian daycare especially because most Indian kids have eating/picky eater issues and American daycare a don't care about it.
     
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  3. Slim55

    Slim55 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot I know about this almost in our friends stayed at home even though they worked in India previously they are taking care of kids now.
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....from this post it looks like your husband has no issues with buying things for you,you yourself are not buying things because your mil's questions.

    Why are you being silly girl?
    Why are you letting mil's taunts guide your life.
    You do not live with her?Why are you letting her live in your 'head'.

    Go out with your husband.Tell him you are going to buy your birthday gift.Go out and enjoy .When your mother in law asks who bought it...tell her in the eyes and calmly tell her"MY HUSBAND bought it for me".

    If she talks about dowry...just remind her that your marriage was arranged on the basis of 'no dowry demand '......Tell her "maa....if you would have demanded dowry then,you would not have got a simple and sensible daughter in law like me"

    Don't waste time answering her questions about what you bought etc...you do all the asking...."so maa...what did you cook?what did you buy?where did you go?how is your health? How is the weather? ...then leave husband and kid to talk to them...you go and do your work.

    Op....work on yourself .Work on your confidence.
    Even if you are a stay at home mom...you be a confident stay at home mom.Be the best at it. Take care of yourself...physically and emotionally.Believe that you are good at what you do.Take care of home ,husband and baby he best way that you can...and then say to yourself"I am the best and I deserve to be happy"

    Op ,are you doing something physically to lose weight.Please take care of yourself.You are a young woman...take care of your health.Once you start working on yourself...you will start feeling better about your life.

    Check out the forum for weight loss threads.
    Check out the forum for how to be efficient with house work,cooking,decorating.
    Check out the forum on how to work from home and make some money.
    Check out the forum for fashion tips.You don't need a lot of clothes to look good...you need the right clothes to make you feel better.

    Best Wishes Op.
     
    Rihana, Slim55 and KashmirFlower like this.
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Your detailed post clearly says that the problem is with you. Not with your H, not with your MIL.

    Now that, my MIL keeps on telling everyone that I came to their family as empty handed..meaning no dowry is given.
    I am happy to hear this comment, although it is sarcastically a blame on me. I happily tell them, "yes, Good that they let me come empty handed. Else I would have kept them behind the bars for asking dowry.

    I did not get my inheritance from my parents' either. Because I am dead against this dowry like selling girls in the name of marriage custom.

    Stop thinking about all these. Less dowry, more dowry as if you are a priced commodity in the market.

    Go to a cloth shop, but at least 2 new chuditars and 1 new saree (good in quality) every month from your husband's salary. Tell him that you need them to wear respectfully.

    Try to get good cloths during special days like Diwali, birthdays etc...

    Encourage your H to buy good cloths for him too. If he doesn't like, let him be. But don't stop buying anything for yourself or kids.

    If MIL asks, tell her that you brought them for yourself. Not your H, not your parents.
    If she asks about the source of money, tell her that you brought them from your money. Which means, your family money. Whatever your H earns is family money, so you have all the rights in it.

    Unless your H stops you from buying, or MIL physically intervenes, I don't think yours is a problem.

    If MIL speaks about dowry, you also speak about the dowry cases you read/seen. Just threaten her how horrible to stand behind the bars for this petty dowry matter. Crack jokes of this and say that you have saved them from a dowry harassment case.

    If you can't speak up, just ignore her comments, and enjoy your life.
     
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  6. sonal1611

    sonal1611 Gold IL'ite

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    Agree with @SGBV

    Why u need to suffer.. Go n buy 2 set of clothes monthly..

    Why don't u try jeans/western wear.. as u r in US..

    I will suggest .. Start some thing small.. like day care .. or tiffin services .. which can be started at nominal startup cost..

    Also if u r into craft work.. think of joining Etsy ..

    I believe there are community schools/colleges.. U can start learning something new..

    learn about finances ..

    You can Start ur own blog..

    learn website development ..

    I mean list is endless..
     
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  7. Slim55

    Slim55 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi friends thank you all first I will change my mindset I should be confident otherwise my daughter also think like me.I should raise my kids with good values.as long as I afraid of her then only my mil want to dominate if I am confident and ignore her then only she will know my value.after 11 years I shared my feelings with my husband he purchased I phone se for birthday gift and he said "I am giving you permanent job that is learn driving and enjoy Usa life after 5 years once we go to India then if you want you can go for teacher job. If you eat healthy food and be healthy means all your 3 kids (including him)will be happy don't think much." Thank you my friends.
     
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  8. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    I think all your problems should melt away or appear really tiny after this statement from your DH. What more do you need? Good health and true love.

    Best wishes.
     
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  9. Slim55

    Slim55 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you. I think he also knows his mothers behavior so he is mute spectator.Anyway I have to ignoring mil words and reduce weight for health and confidence.
    Ignorance only punishment to my mil.
     
  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    OP...hope we will soon get to hear about your driving lessons :thumbup:and exercise threads.:cheer::cheer:
    cheers :beer-toast1:
     
    Slim55 likes this.

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