Life Is Merciless

Hugs to you dear. I pray that God heals your deep inner wounds..may He strengthen you once again and enable you to rise and experience a new and better life. TC.

 

Dear @cheenu123 ,

Hugs to you dear DD Cheenu. Thank God you have settled down with a compensation.

Please do not do anything to disturb this mutual agreement.

Look forward to a new life. There are so many happily remarried couples. Do not forget the mistakes, if any, you might have committed in the past and the lessons learnt and ensure those are never repeated in your new life.

A beautiful lovely life lies ahead for you.

May life be full of happiness, joy, and fulfillment for you.

 

@cheenu123 - Hope to see you write a post in the future saying that you have recovered from these bad experiences and is currently a happy person

 

Hi Cheenu,

I feel what you are going thru. I had never thought of this day what I am facing even after marrying the guy I loved like crazy for 2 years before marriage. Its been 8 years of marriage that has been broken and my husband said that they all were trying to find my faults so they could throw me out. but I was so innocent and dedicated to my husband and inlaws that they couldn't come up any real reason other than what I mentioned in video. (I just posted a new thread) .

I always hated one thing , husband like what I got even after knowing him earlier, Inlaws cheap and downgraded politics, immature Marital issues, humiliation and betrayal, false blamed and was thrown out of my house. I couldn't control any of this. But I knew one thing that I will not let myself become a topic to discuss and pity. My parents and 2 brothers live together. My Bhabhi is not that supportive and has already creating issue with my parents on and off.

And the truth is except your parents (sometimes they will too) you will see people change and treat you as if you might be expecting some kindof help/money because you are now in a terrible situation in your life. If you live with them, they expect you to keep your head down and become invisible and live with them. So you endup in a rather deadly situation.

And then you think, if something like this might have happened with any of these people , you would have not thought once to help them. most importantly empathize with them and give your time.

I am the only girl child so I decided what I had got from my Inalws and Husband was enough. But I wont let anything happen more to myself. I took a rented apartment and brought new stuff and started living here. Trust me it isn't easy but you will survive and live with dignity.

People have their own perception, because it makes them feel that their life is better and they are safe in their relations. Its not your pain or situation which can make you die but trust me those people will kill you emotionally and mentally if not physically.

I am not advising anyone here to move out but Take a stand for yourself. Do what you feel is right for you. If your mind is tortured you can never do anything. and its time to make a decision for yourself and soon. We have already suffered enough and just promise yourself that no matter what you are their for yourself and that's whats important. Actually it was the only thing needed in our marriages. To be a little bad , a little less nice to others and self protective.

When I knew that I had no choice than to accept what is happening, I looked for rented Apartments. I know the rent is little higher but it comes with security and people not unnecessary digging your life. and if someone does, I tell them my husband is out of India. Initially it was not easy, I cried all the time , when I had to talk to the property dealer, when I went to see the flat, when I first moved in, when I had to take care of everything on my own. I was so worried about his food that even in my situation that I would call him and laterally beg him to eat then he would insult me more bringing out the issues but bang the phone. I keep texting he woudn't respond. I pack the food, go to his house and make him eat. and still he would start fighting and bad mouth me and my parents and then eat. How could I take all that. . Once There was earthquake in the middle of night and I called my husband who lived across the street. He said that I am on my own and he doesn't care if I live or die. So I went down the building, silently crying. There was another earthquake after a month or so, I called him again but this time I asked if he was safe and advised him to wakeup and go down the building. "Shameless chap". Of course my tears were melting my heart but my neighbours banged my door till they saw me. I cant explain how safe I felt and that it is all going to be ok. People are nice. I don't have to hide and I don't have to share my story with anyone. They are just neighbours , who come to help when needed. For the first time in several months I felt safe and relaxed.

Initially I was very careful like, I kept a big knife under my pillow and one hand was always on knife. Cant tell you . I even had knife when some water delivery man or plumber would come. and sometimes I started talking fake on phone just to let the person know that I was taking to my husband who is downstairs and is coming soon. but you know all those people the water man , the plumber, they all helped in these months and I don't fake any calls anymore. I don't need it. I do become alert but now have become stronger because its my house they are in. I don't need to be scared of anyone.

But as I started settling down and started going for walk and started interacting with people. It was better.

If I have weak moments, I go to temple and it works for me. There were times when I had gone to temple and had kept my Mangalsutra in Devi's feet because I wasn't able to set anything right and everyone was just doing more and more bad to me. I cried so much after marriage that really don't remember when I had actually laughed. My husband was seeing it all. I never raised my voice or insulted inlaws, never ever thought about any other man, cooked 3am or anytime for my husband. he never had to ask for anything, supported him in work and at home and relations, he ate from my hands for years and years (yes he wouldnot eat himself) . WTF. What was I doing??

We mistake control with love. Anyways, just stay safe and stay happy. I hope you feel better..

 

Good to hear this dear. These tiny baby steps will slowly take you a long way...Focus on what is now
going right for you and not the pain of the past. This may seem easier said than done...but each
morning as you wake up think yourself blessed, and assure yourself that things can only get better
now. You will emerge a better and stronger person. Godbless you always.

 

@ABD please share more of your experience.There is lot to learn from them.

 

Hugs to you dear Cheenu. Be strong & confident.

Hope you get that job.

 

hugs to you Chennu,
Stay positive and relaxed, everything will be fine. I can't help but thank you for sharing your problems here and I am sure that has helped others sailing in the similar boats like yours. All the best dear