Rock The Sahm Role ✌

An unintended long gap..
Been occupied with my daily routine and scrambles..
@AkilaMani hope your exams went well!
@cliona must be getting ready for the marathon ..
Me? Made a couple of posts in IL.. but didn't write here.. The days are slipping by.. my darling infant is standing poised at the threshold of toddlerhood, hands reaching forward, and a reassuring smile for me.. I am thrilled.. and wishing to make time go slow!!!!
H. and I are no less snappy but are learning to ease each others snaps with a touch of humour.. its a great tool, this sense of humour.. Because he has started calming down or joking about things, I am also happy to laugh things down (only after releasing steam like a steam engine first though - but I immediately feel better, and it's more of expression than blaming or fighting). I hope this camaraderie continues.. makes everything so much more handleable..
Talking about handling things, I haven't been able to do much at the home front. What I routinely do now is ensure baby has her meals and fresh cook veggies for her, prepare a lunchbox for H., and try to have some food for myself to eat. That is all. This month has been particularly demanding in that there are so many festivals, even though all I do is one extra payasam that's all..The real thing has been dishes. Dirty dishes stretching out like the proverbial Hanuman's Tail.. more come up as I keep washing and running the dishwasher. This alone has gobbled up a lot of time, making it tricky to cook quick and near impossible to have a clean kitchen..kind of like a vicious cycle - more dishes to be washed, less vessels to cook in, more cooking time, no time to clear up, so again more dirty dishes. I am still fighting the battle..
I have also slowly come to realise that happy that I am that the criticism from H. has reduced, even if H. doesn't say a word, having a pile of things to do (esp.dishes) stresses me and makes me irritable until I handle it. I am surprised that now I'm snappy not in reaction but on my own.. so I'm trying consciously to work without getting stressed..
I don't know why again I am short of time.. I need barely 1-2 hours to cook and maybe another hour max to clear up kitchen, do dishes etc. Why am I not finding this time? Where am I going wrong? If H. could handle baby all by himself in the evening for a couple of hours, I'd be done.. he does take care of baby, but I end up helping him.. and losing out on my kitchen/chores time. Still tweaking my evenings where in 2-3 hrs we try to squeeze in my bath, baby's feed, a walk, our evening coffee, dinner prep and it is also the same time H. can go buy stuff like groceries and milk.. particularly on those days everything goes off..even otherwise it's tiring..hmmm..
Long post.. but its been awhile..so..bear with me..

 

Dont worry dear, its just for 4 days, and its better at the beginning of the 9th month than later.. maybe it's unavoidable from his side, just try to chill.. I would be nervous too, in your position, but if he has to then put your trust in God (and baby ) and just stay calm..



My last 3 days were bad. In the sense, out of sorts. I couldn't cook in the day with darling girl wanting me to stay right beside her.. and protesting with wilfully brought on tears, and sometimes crawling behind me and tugging at me..
I too spent awhile on skype for a couple of days - maybe I'd have been able to cook if I hadn't, or maybe baby wouldn't have let me..
Since baby was also waking on and off at night (not too bad but not her usual 3 hourly wakes either) i wasn't able to pack lunch for H as I dozed off marginally more ie >7 am. So come evenings, I was hungry (despite snacking on biscuits banana etc) and irritated feeling H.'s ?disapproval for not eating, his subtle disappointment at his own hunger and not finding food at home.. and it was snappy times.. add to it dirty dishes, undone chores and the feeling of having to clear up the kitchen/dining/toys on floor perpetually .... phew
Yesterday was a turning point. I bulldozed my way through a good dinner prep, managing to get a handle on the dishes and laundry, and feeding baby - all by myself (H. was late from work)..an icecream saved my evening
And the hearty dinner lifted all our moods - H. was complimenting it, I was feeling so satisfied to give him good food and finally making something I'd been wanting to cook for a while..
And even baby slept for a longer break free spell at night.. wow..
The looooong weekend is ahead.. that means fulltime cooking n tight schedule..want to try and get out at least 2 out of 4 days... wish me luck!

 

I'm back after a hiatus with a vent.
Same old problem : unproductive, unable to cook or even eat.
If I get up at 6 or 7 and cook, I'm in safe zone, else everything unravels.
I'm too fagged out psychologically more than physically having to start the kitchen work so early (with night wakings atleast 3) - and I feel I'm spending the whole day in kitchen.
I wish I could make baby go to bed around 9 pm instead of 12mn. Even if that means she'll be up by 7 or 8.

The disorder esp.kitchen but other areas too is getting to me and I am getting more and more readily pissed, poor H. has become more accomodating of my temper but I don't like it and I don't like having things like this.
And I feel tired all day, not even able to play with baby happily.

Its already 2pm here, and here's what all I got to do:
Cook gravy & sidedish for H. - he comes home starving. Didn't make him breakfast or lunch. For the last week.
Prepare baby's lunch and feed.
Eat myself - what to eat?!!
Dishwasher & dishes
Kitchen counter clear
Laundry - atleast baby's new clothes
Take baby out for walk
Baby bath, mommy's bath

It is impossible to do all this in 3-4 hours

 

Feeling so stressed out with even the regular routines.
Feels like I'm in the kitchen all day - and so I'm avoiding it until I have to - and then can't get things done properly ie things stay messy - then I feel more stressed out...
This despite us eating out a bit too often this last couple of weeks because of difficulties with baby's schedule...

And I am bugged - that I am not able to do anything for myself. Baby will be a year old soon, and I am still struggling everyday like this?!

The only way seems to be to get up early everyday - and start kitchen work by 6 so I can get it out of the way.
Gotta be tough with myself.

Feeling so tired all the time and wiped out.

 

@cliona just seeing your post.. some sync issue on laptop? How are you!!! Yeah take it easy now.. is your DH back? glad you found a good doctor for the clinic and things are settled there.. exciting times ahead.. I'm so eager for the little one's arrival, all my mommyhood groans notwithstanding!

P.S: I realise my groans are more housework, and less mommyhood