1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

My Daughter- The most precious

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by meril, Nov 8, 2013.

  1. Deepu04

    Deepu04 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,857
    Likes Received:
    1,484
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Good... Ashwini made her points very clear....
     
  2. leenam05

    leenam05 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,439
    Likes Received:
    1,213
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Happy to read the update, please post the next part soon.......
     
  3. meril

    meril Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    637
    Trophy Points:
    175
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks a lot for your all your support and love towards the story! Have an episode written down after long.

    Thank you once again for your patience, I'm sorry if I have missed out anyone in this post.
     
  4. meril

    meril Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    637
    Trophy Points:
    175
    Gender:
    Female
    My Daughter- The most precious!

    The next day- Sunday.


    Sita enters Ashvini’s room while she was fast asleep. Sita tries to wake her up by calling out in a soft tone and later shook her awake.

    “Ashvini your dad asked me to wake you up.” she said exempting herself.Ashvini smiles and looks at the clock which displayed the time as 7:30.

    “Ohh, already?” ,said Ashvini after a long yawn. “Sir asked me to wake you up, please wake up said Sita as she leaves the room.

    Ashvini got hold of her cell phone and messaged Reshmi, “By what time will you people be here? She turned over to cuddles her cushion and closed her eyes waiting for a reply.

    Ashvini wide opened her eyes when she heard her dad’s voice getting closer and rushed herself to the washroom.

    She looked at herself at the mirror to see a prominent pimple appeared on her cheeks in this morning. “Ohh no! This ugly pimple had to show up today??” she complained.

    Reshmi aunt was pinning up the pallu of her saree when she noticed a message on her cellphone. Once the pallu was rightly pinned she read Ashvini’s message and turned back to Shan who was in search of his socks in the wardrobe.

    “Shan, hurry up, guess Ashvini is already ready.” said Reshmi. “What made you say so?” enquired Shan out of curiosity.

    She messaged me asking what time we would be there. Oh, doesn’t matter Reshmi, nobody really wants us there. Bhiya has already set his mind; I wouldn’t be surprised if he has the wedding date fixed.

    “Shan, what’s wrong with you?” asked Reshmi clasping her earring. “Nothing is wrong with me Reshmi, I just said what is about to happen.”

    Once Reshmi’s earrings were fixed to her earlobe, she turned to Shan and said in polite tone: Shan, I know you were upset with Bhiya’s behaviour, please try not to express your rage today.”

    “I won’t, I would just pretend to be an outsider. Now let’s leave.”, said Shan once his socks was on his respective feet.

    Yes, I’m ready too, said Reshmi sliding her bangles. “I will be there in a minute.” , said Reshmi and picked up the salwar and accessories she had bought for Ashvini and followed Shan.

    As they climb down the stairs, they notice Rohan playing on his Gameboy with his vent and jeans on.

    “What an outfit!” claimed Shan aloud! Rohan alarmed at Shan’s voice and quickly picks up his shirt led on the couch beside him.

    “Rohan.. Aren’t you ready yet?!” yells Reshmi. He quickly slides his hand through the sleeves and said: I’m ready.

    “Hurry up Rohan!” yells Reshmi expressing her annoyance. Shan pulls out his formal dark brown shoes and Rohan’s black converse shoe.

    “What about mine?” questions Reshmi. “You get it yourself”, said Shan annoyingly.

    As Reshmi’s eyebrows showed a tendency to get closer, Shan said: How do I know which one you would be wearing you have around 20 pairs of sandals in here.

    Reshmi laughed at his remake and pulled out her black sandals with golden lining.Rohan took his shoes and sat outdoor. “Wear your shoes and leave, Rohan”, screeched Reshmi.

    “I will wear them in the car, Mom.”, claimed Rohan running out of the house and into the car in no time.

    __

    Ashvini takes her position in front of the wardrobe, and has a tough time deciding on an outfit. She takes out a cream coloured salwar and brushes her hand feeling the velvet texture on it.

    Sita comes in the room after two loud knocks. Ashvini, what are you doing? Decide on your outfit fast, it's already 8:10.

    “How about this one?” , Ashvini points to the salwar in her hand. It’s nice, but you have better ones.

    “Ohho, which one? Reshmi aunt said she had bought me some outfit, maybe I will wait for her.” ,said Ashvini finding it difficult to make up her mind.

    “Okay.”, said Sita agreeing with her.

    Kumar peeps into Ashvini’s room on his way out of his and asked: Why haven’t you taken a bath yet, Ashvini?”

    “Ohhh.. Dad! My hair takes long to dry.”, said Ashvini making an excuse.“So what? It’s fine if your hair is wet, hurry up.” , said Kumar and walks away.

    Ashvini makes an expression of disapproval to Sita. “Dear, listen to him, you have time until Reshmi madam is here.

    “Go in fast..” , said Sita and walks out of the room.

    To be continued..
     
    Deepu04 likes this.
  5. aarthi28

    aarthi28 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,121
    Likes Received:
    1,463
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Gender:
    Female
    Meril
    I like your narration. You are capturing simple things and can feel things watching in front of us.
    I thought you were dragging as still now the Boys meet has not happened yet with Ashwini.
    But to say, Father - The character you have depicted touches me a lot and am driven towards it a lot.
    I remind the Quotes, "Every woman may not be a Queen to her husband, But she is always a PRINCESS to her Father" whihc drives me think about Kumar - The Father.
    The Title should be "FATHER, Precious"
    Good work and I am glued to it.
     
    Deepu04 likes this.
  6. meril

    meril Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    637
    Trophy Points:
    175
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks Deeps!
    Yeah, felt it was high time Ashvini acts on her own!

    The next part has been updated! Thanks for reading and please continue reading!
     
  7. meril

    meril Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    637
    Trophy Points:
    175
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear aarthi!

    First of thanks for noting each point of my story and am glad that you have liked my style of narration.

    To be frank I have been having the feel that the story has been dragging a bit for the same reason mentioned, but on the other hand if I hadn't narrated the story in this manner the feel of the events happening right in front of your eyes would be missing. Don't you think?

    I had intended to make them meet in this episode but the words started overflowing and the episode had been too long to add their meetup this time. Will try to keep it short and crisp next time.

    That is such a beautiful quote, isn't? I'm glad that i have been able to show justice to the characters. Thanks for your support once again!

    Regards,

    Meril
     
    Deepu04 likes this.
  8. creativemind23

    creativemind23 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    117
    Likes Received:
    234
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice read
     
    meril likes this.
  9. meril

    meril Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    637
    Trophy Points:
    175
    Gender:
    Female
    @creativemind23, Thanks for your feedback and there is more updates to the story! :)
     
  10. Nithuashok2015

    Nithuashok2015 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice one Meril.. You make the story interesting with all those small details.. Waiting eagerly for Ashoke to meet Ashvi:blush:
     

Share This Page