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Is It Help Or Taking Advantage

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by harun, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    OP,

    The answer is talk directly to the person involved and tell her that it is her responsibility. I am unsure if the other person is a reluctant one, how to deal it. Maybe suggest her that for one fortnight the groundstairs person can do, then for the next fortnight it is the upstairs person job. :D

    I have no more ideas...:thinking:
     
  2. stilldeshi

    stilldeshi Senior IL'ite

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    I feel sorry for the four floor lady, she is missing out on creating memories of receiving kids at the gate. Wish I can tell her. Kids grow very fast and memorries are only left to treasure. Someone should explain that to her.
     
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  3. harun

    harun Senior IL'ite

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    Looks like bus ppl dont have any problem,they just see if the gate opens.1st floor lady thinking their kids their responsibilty,once in a while when busy offering help its OK i hope so whick 4th floor lady taken as granted on regular basis.Even after telling this point to her INDIRECTLY she isn't coming down to pick her kids.
     
  4. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    [QUOTE="harun, post: 3870409, member: 128075"Even after telling this point to her INDIRECTLY she isn't coming down to pick her kids.[/QUOTE]
    So she has to say it directly. Simply something like, "please could you kcome downstairs at 4? I'd prefer it if you were there to pick your kids up. My kids seem to need me without distractions the second they are home. So I'd rather you were here for your kids." Also talk to the school about additional security measures.
     
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  5. harun

    harun Senior IL'ite

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    well there seems to be no solution coming out for this problem:coldsweat: and END their cold war.
     
  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Hmm thers never a solution to any problem if the person facing the pinch decides to just sit and sTew about it than take action.

    You've given it a shot. But it's not your circus; not your monkeys!
     
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  7. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    Throw on a dupatta or old towel over it, and it becomes a super-modest picking-up-kids outfit!
     
  8. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    OP, maybe the grnd floor lady should talk to the driver of the bus or school authorities instead. Insist that the kids cannot get out the bus until an adult is there to receive them. For a day, you receive your kid and take him inside while they wait for their mom to come downstairs. Then she would probably come downstairs.

    I really don't understand what the problem is in coming down four floors for 5 mins. Is there an elevator / lift in the building?
     
  9. harun

    harun Senior IL'ite

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    There is a lift in our appt.Definetly for the ground floor lady its easy to open gate as she can hear the bus horn inside the house itself.But how to communicate to 4th floor lady ...or what are other ways to make her understand that its her duty to down to pick HER KIDS,not others.
     
  10. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Loads of other ways.
    Telepathy is one. Might not work but worth a try!
    Talk to school about pick up security and insist they introduce rules about who can pick kids up.

    Some passive aggressive ways -
    Writing an anonymous letter is another.
    Getting the ground floor husband to complain to the other.
    Instigating the kids to start a mutiny against their mother.
    Shutting the gate quickly after the ground floor kids come in, before the 4h floor come down, refusing to take responsibility for them.

    Seriously, @harun if the lady can't manage dealing with the problem in a polite, direct, adult manner, there is no way. Absolutely none at all.

    Talking directly is simple. Take a pack of biscuits or flowers or chocolates to her home. Politely sit and say, "Please could you come downstairs at pick up time? I'd prefer it if you were there to pick them up. I can't explain it but it makes me a bit uncomfortablr as I'm not able to focus on my kids as soon as they come." That's all. No apology. No convoluted explanations. Simple neighbourly talk.
     
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