1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Best Friend's Husband Complaining About Me To My Husband

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by sasi291, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. sasi291

    sasi291 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello Friends

    I am in a doubt about my current situation.
    I have a very best friend from my college, who got married right after she passed out almost 8-9 years back. My friend's husband is a momma boy and he always used to force my friend to not to talk to his parents and to friends. And there were other family related fights they had.My friend used to share all her problems with me. i know may be i should have shut my mouth, but after all she is my best friend, couldnt see her facing things,so i used to tell her to be confident and strong and face the fights. He used to blackmail her saying that he would commit suicide. So this has ended up in a big mess and my friends Dad(who was a short tempered politician) raised his hand on my friends husband. And lot of people summoned at their house and it so happened that they wanted to put my friends husband in Jail. This has made things very bad and my friends husband called my Dad and said that i am interfering in their things and i have made a mess in their life. Then i stopped talking to her for so many days.

    We used to meet and talk as our office were near for friendly chats. she always used to tell me her problems but i used to be calm, as i didnt want to give any suggestions.

    Recently we got active in whatsapp, and she said she has been facing lot of problems.that the guy is treating her very badly and she wants to go away with another person. I told her not to take such decisions and to give her marriage some time. She was away from him for almost 1 and half year , for her baby delivery, and after deluvery they had family issues and my friend had a minor accident which made them stay far.

    Recently she got back to her husband after 1 and half year. ANd he didnt want her to work and made her quit her job. so she has been complaining a lot how her life is and how his husband has been mistreating her and doesnt take care of the baby.I have been suggesting her to be strong and give some time for her marriage. I was really careful before passing my suggestion as i knew anything said otherwise would create a mess.

    Now the problem is, my friends husband message my husband in Facebook and complaining that i am spoiling their life and giving bad suggestions to my friend.

    i am so mad now and angry, that i really want to talk to him and say, if he really wanted to convey something he should talk to me. and if he thinks that their marriage is screwing up because of me, its a big mistake.

    Should i talk to him? or should i just stay away?

    Hubby said not to interfere and not to talk to my friend from now on as we have lots to our own. it sounds reasonable, but i am in Doubt. help me!!!
     
    Loading...

  2. jillcastle

    jillcastle Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    532
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    When you involve in a husband & wife problem, eventually there will come a day you will be accused of their problems. Either you should not worry about it and give a ear with an open mind or dont involve. But if it were me and I already have too much on my plate, I will just ignore this drama.
     
    songbird46, Rihana and sindmani like this.
  3. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,560
    Likes Received:
    1,697
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Op, its time to stay out of ur friendship with her. Let her resolve her problems
     
    songbird46 and guesshoo like this.
  4. anehstar

    anehstar Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    84
    Likes Received:
    73
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Ignore their issues completely. Why you have to worry. Their problems, they'll solve it! Couples have differences and end up putting blame on others for bringing in more gap.
    Life has 1000 other better things for you to do. Invest time in them rather than listening to others sad stories and being caught up in that mess.
     
  5. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,786
    Likes Received:
    7,303
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Your friend's husband sounds like such a jerk. Your friend needs help can't she leave him for good? It is not her fault if he harms himself - it is his rotten way of exerting emotional control over your friend. Tell your friend directly (talk. Dont put anything in writing) that her husband has been blaming you to your dad and husband for their problems. Do let her know that she has options and that she should seek support from her parents. Her child doesn't deserve such a messed up home. It needs better and it's your friends job to provide that.

    It isn't your job to give her support, however do remember her husband seems to be hell bent on distancing her from her support structure... and he is succeeding. She needs help. It would be nice of you to provide it.

    I think your husband should respond that he needs to get help to sort his marriage out in case it is so weak that an outsider can cause such harm.
     
    bron, minn1, songbird46 and 1 other person like this.
  6. Jas82688

    Jas82688 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    @op I don't understand how come ur friends husband came to know that u gave suggestions when the talk took place at office .. Is it ur friend revealed ..? Or some others ..? U r not reason for Thier problems that's sure but her problem n both of them creating issues in ur married life .. Do u ever told this to ur friend that her hubby called ur dad n husband what's her reaction ..? If she is ur friend she would keep u out of this matter .. Am not saying sharing problems is wrong but when it's creating issue for u she has to think about it .. Don't feel like she has issues already so don't want to share it .. Op if she had issued she should solve u told already her dad is politician then y don't she share it with parents n inlaws n deal with it .. What help u can offer more than parents ..? I support ur husband 100 % .. Don't involve in this matter for ur sake for ur married life for ur own peace .. Stay away .. U can't solve her issues and it's not ur duty .. Concentrate on ur family .. Ur good at heart but it's not wise always ..
     
  7. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,436
    Likes Received:
    713
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Ask your husband to block this guy on FB and as others said stay away from both of them. If he puts divorce case and book you then u might have to run to courts. Let your friend decide what is best to her life.
     
    guesshoo likes this.
  8. sasi291

    sasi291 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    i guess he reads her whatsapp messages...yes my friend knows that he called my Dad. but she doesn't know that he messaged my husband, as i haven't told her yet as i am in dilemma whether to talk to her or not(since her husband is reading all her msgs).I told her that i would talk to her husband directly, then she said not to as he is not at all understandable and is treating everyone from her side very badly.
     
  9. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,786
    Likes Received:
    7,303
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    I has no idea this is even a possibility. Is it possible to "book" supporters?
     
  10. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,436
    Likes Received:
    713
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female

Share This Page