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Satisfying Career

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    I was walking Orion out and noticed a guest in my neighbor’s house. I said, “hi” to him and developed a conversation. When I see some people I notice from their demeanor that they are very happy in life and this person is one of them. I asked him, “What do you do?” He explained that he was wandering looking for a career for nearly 10 years and eventually landed up on an opportunity to be a career stand-up comedian. His second passion was traveling the length and breadth of the United States and incidentally, this career he chose takes him all over the US. When I asked him, “What brought you here?” he explained, “He was visiting his brother and has a program in a night club in Orlando the next day and then leaving for California. His beautiful wife was sitting on the ground and other than waving at me didn’t speak a word but was very focused on drawing something on the ground with crayons. While talking to this gentleman, I glanced at her art and she was drawing a beautiful flower and I learned that she was passionate about drawing.

    My wife went to the airport to receive a guest in my absence and she ended up staying late at night alone in the airport as the flight was delayed. She happened to meet with a fine young man 27 years old, exactly the same age as my son. He voluntarily shook hands with my wife, introduced himself and asked why my wife was alone in the airport at that late hour. When my wife explained the reason, he went and bought some food and joined her in a conversation. He came to receive his girl-friend but ended up in the airport for nearly 2 hours. In the conversation, my wife found out that he created a record in Javelin throw in India and he was very passionate about training himself in the US to create world record. He incidentally, he got introduced to a baseball trainer who trains the pitchers. This trainer saw some exciting talents in him and training him to become one of the best pitchers. As this gentleman enjoyed this training he continued and excelled. He got picked up by a major baseball team in the US with an extraordinary offer. He is a very happy young man pursuing a great career in a field that he enjoyed the most.

    When people enjoy their career it shows up in their lives. Every time, I read Satchi’s snippet about teaching the students, I see an exuberant attitude in describing how much she enjoys teaching them. I see the same level of enthusiasm when I read how Sabitha interacts with the nature, practices Yoga, teaches children and interacts with her own children. There is a great sense of fulfillment shows up in her words. I have given example of only two here but when I read the snippets of many more, I see their level of happiness and satisfaction in pursuing their career (I truly consider SAHM as a career mom as well).

    When we used to start the career back in India those days, the objective appeared to be a) how to relieve the parents from the financial burden and how to minimize the cost of education, b) what education to pursue that would provide immediate and lucrative employment, c) how to get a secured government or other nationalized bank or insurance company jobs that provides great job security, d) how to become an eligible bachelor to find a suitable life partner, e) how to borrow funds to build a dwelling that provides a shelter for the family, etc. Virtually, none of us took any risk in order to get rewards. Things are changing significantly in the new generation. There are so many different careers in the field of telecom, media, advertisement, technology, education, entertainment, sports, cinema, music, dance, art, etc. The new generation is spreading out into so many different fields. Sometimes, education plays a role in what they do and other times, it doesn’t.

    Frankly, those who take greater risks, understand how to mitigate such risks by prior planning, make some concrete effort in the right direction, etc. succeed very well. I see both sides of the argument in life, one arguing not to take any risk and secure the family and the other arguing what is the point in leading a life that doesn’t provide sense of fulfillment. I started my career in the same fashion to secure my family but kept moving from position to position but was ridiculed a lot by others for my attitude. I was never happy doing the same thing over and over again in any job and I always wanted to learn more and more. My burning desire to learn more made me work not for the money but for building knowledge. Eventually, when I began my investment banking business on my own, I achieved my sense of fulfillment.

    I know some of you led a contented life pursuing the same career all your life or already retired from that position. Some are still aspiring to do new things but not too happy about what you are currently doing. I am curious to know various views of how each one of you balance your life between burning desire to achieve a great sense of fulfillment Vs the need to keep the family secured and educate children. In the past week, I have heard from so many successful politicians how their parents did menial jobs to educate them and become very successful. Is it wrong to have a desire to achieve great sense of fulfillment? Are we risking the lives of the next generation by being ambitious? Is it driven only by the level of education one achieves? Are we setting a right example by either being so ambitious or very contented in life? How do we balance? What is the priority? Please pour your thoughts. I am going to read all of them with no inhibitions as family situations may vary for each one of us.
     
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  2. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Viswa dear as always a thought provoking post and I am glad I am able to give the first feedback. In life we should have a goal and try to achieve it. You are a good observer Viswa dear . Glad your wife also met a man and he was helpful to her and he has achieved something . Everyonewants to be happy in life and do something and if they are able to something and achieve success they feel very happy

    I also had to work after completing 10th std though I liked to go to College. My Hindi teacher also told me you will get scholarship if you go to College. My dad did not want me to work in office so I joined my own school as a teacher for primary. I was not so courageous person and I did not like being a teacher . Somehow I worked for two months and I told my Dad I did not like the job. When I was going to leave the Principal told me you should stick to one job. I did not get immediately any job. After school I had learnt typing, thanks to my best friend because of her only I learnt typing and she paid half my fees for typing. I gave tuitions for sometime andthen through my brother I got a job in a Company as a Typist. I worked for two years This was in Hyderabad. Before I got this job my Dad expired and my brother was looking after us. He got a job in Mumbai and we all came to Mumbai. Through the recommendation of my boss I got a job immediately in Mumbai where I worked for 36 years. In the beginning evening after office I learnt stenography which helped me to take shorthand from some bosses. Seeing my work I got a promotion as Stenographer with the recommendation of my boss. After working as Steno for fifteen years or so under a very good boss I got promotion as a Senior Assistant which I never expected because I never knew anything bout accounting and I was given the job of Bank Reconciliation. When computers came had to do through computers reconciliation which was difficult in the beginning but our Finance Director had confidence in me and I could succeed . Being a working woman it was difficult to manage home and office but with the support of my husband I could manage. He used to help me in kitchen work. He had Wednesdays off and I had Saturday and Sunday. When I got VRS because the company was taken over by some other company I had only one year or so , so I did not lose anything. I was very happy that I did something fruitful in life.

    Glad you also achieved something in life

    Hope I have not gone out of topic in that case Iwill delete
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2016
  3. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,

    A great topic haunting our heads for long.We will not be able to find a satisfactory answer even after lot of research since it comes with so many ifs and buts ,differs from person to person, place to place and situation to situation.This is actually a well-researched topic in sociology and social psychology. . Essentially, once we are at a certain level of security and economic well-being, increases in wealth do not bring greater happiness.

    Happiness, which is hard to define, is over-determined in psychological terms--there are more variables involved than we can easily tease out, in terms of what makes us happy or unhappy. Some people born into poorer circumstances find their core meaning and purpose in the amassing of wealth. .

    Being poor, however, makes people less satisfied and more prone to difficulty across a range of human ways of expressing unhappiness, like drug addiction, crime, early childhood pregnancy, and so on.

    One might say that happiness does not stem from wealth, but unhappiness is a correlate with poverty.

    In my opinion, both money and job satisfaction are equally important. Even if money doesn't buy happiness, it CAN keep away some stress. Your quality of life should improve if you aren't being hounded by bill collectors while you try to figure out how to keep your family fed, let alone send kids to college and fix your car so you can keep going to work. In this case, you are going to take anything you can to help you and your family survive.

    If you are lucky enough to have your immediate needs and finances taken care of, then you have the benefit of making the choice of your aptitude.

    True;Your ambition is the destination you are moving towards. It is important to ride towards a worthy place. It is also desirable to have a pleasant journey. Being happy with one's job is akin to taking a pleasant ride in the countryside. Your pay is the fuel in your tank. Having enough fuel is not the primary goal of your ride. So it doesn't make sense to choose a route that has a lot of gas stations, but makes for a bumpy and irritating ride and worse doesn't even take you where you want to go to. But at the same time, it is not sensible to head into the woods without any fuel in your tank. You will be stranded.

    A sensible guy would probably take a bumpy ride for sometime, fill up enough fuel, and then take a detour to the scenic route. He should also have the sense to keep an eye on the fuel gauge at all times and return to the bumpy route if and when required. Just so that he can always go back to the scenic route whenever he wants to.

    One can take the risk of catering to his aptitude and ambition only when his financial needs are fulfilled.

    If you’re earning good money but not satisfied with work or work culture,then it’ll haunt you and after a period of time you won’t feel the excitement of work.On other side,you’re satisfied with work but not with money that may not haunt you more,but will definitely haunt your family,they’ll get frustrated after watching other people or their relatives earning more,so that’ll again start to haunt you indirectly.

    When family interest has to be preferred one has to sacrifice his/her ambitions.

    My father left his law college and worked as a teacher throughout.I had to sacrifice my promotions in view of my husband's health problems.

    While we talk of a few people who have risen to great heights by following their ambitions,there are countless people who have reached the graveyard without having any of their ambitions fulfilled,,because human beings are programmed or wired to death sooner or later and the ambitions too have set limitations. There is a saying" If you don't get a thing you like, you start liking the thing you get'.Instead of lamenting over the failed opportunity better start accepting what we have.
    This is the practical reality , not an outcome of pessimism.
    Sorry for the long response.
    Jayasala 42.
     
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vijiakka,

    Thank you for your first feedback. This snippet is intended to get genuine feedback from everyone just like the one you gave. Everyone has some aspirations in life and they move towards their aspirations at some stage in life. Many of us are constrained by lack of finance, education, social pressure, family responsibilities, etc. It is interesting to know how you managed to move from teaching to do professional work in an office environment and how relentlessly equipped yourself with additional qualifications to achieve greater heights.

    I am glad that many in your office helped in your career growth besides your own wonderful spouse by helping you balance household and office responsibilities. Despite all these accomplishments, you have raised three wonderful children who are well settled in life. Hats off to you.

    Viswa
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Smt. Jayasala:

    Thank you for your comprehensive response outlining both sides of aisle in depth. Constraints are many to achieve ambitions in life and I am fully familiar with what you had been through in your personal career through your previous snippets. As I have mentioned, the whole of last week, I heard from many successful politicians what their parents went through after migrating to the United States to make the next generation successful. I was also saddened by a father's speech of losing a son who was 27 years old because he wanted to pursue his career in the US army.

    The ambitions of people sometimes take them to new height and other times take them to unknown destination. Like many families, I was also under pressure to finish my graduation and get employed to relieve my suffering parents. But somehow, they have managed to educate their two sons to become professionals. In my pursuit of excellence, I have learned a lot and not all of them resulted in immediate financial gains. But it gave me a great sense of satisfaction in life. I left jobs not because I have made enough financial strength to take risks but was equipped with new skills that I was ready to test myself with. My spouse was a great source of strength in looking after my only son and his education. I traveled the world, visited so many young entrepreneurs from different countries and learned so much from them.

    Interestingly, I still have that fire burning in me to learn more and more and this light has not subsided at the age of 62. There is no end to learning and aspiring and even age is not an impediment. Please don't take this brief as an intellectual discussion but true revelation of what I had been through. When I wrote this snippet, I was going to listen to each one of you and look for new techniques that I could learn.

    Viswa
     
  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Viswa, nice thoughtful post.
    Didn't know you were in investment banking. Interesting.

    I had a reasonably good career, then a break, and now a slightly different career. Never thought too much about the choices, and there weren't too many. I guess I was lucky to be in the right place at the right time, a few times. And now, am in a position where going to sleep seems a chore as it takes time away from work. : ) Maybe a bit late in life, but i am following the 'do what you love' advice (albeit keeping it financially feasible). Makes me feel alive, and gives a deep sense of satisfaction. Saying more would shed what little anonymity is there to believe and take comfort in. : )

    I have made the compromises needed, and no regrets/complaints. Spent most of adult life in the U.S., so I think at every point there was dispensable time and money to spend on what brought sense of fulfillment.
    I was the typical pushy Indian parent for a while,and then backed off. Thankfully. For me child's success is if child is happy and able to support herself financially. I/we are very contented in life, and yes the doubt comes up now and then, whether we are too contented : ) but it goes away after the next nap or movie watched. Balancing - I am happy I have set a very good example to my kids.

    Overall, I think the 'follow your heart, follow your passion' advice is too simplistic. I like a more practical version of it - get a good education, that will teach you how to learn, make you a thinking thoughtful individual, get you a reasonable income, and utilize the opportunities of the great times we live in to indulge the passion for other things.
     
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana

    Thank you for your elaborate response to this snippet. There is subtle difference between how women compromise their career Vs men compromise career for family reasons. Mostly, if not always, women compromise career a lot when compared to men. I was looking for suggestions and thoughts from everyone, men and women, to get a very good perspective of their thoughts. Your practical version is well received.

    It is my humble view, at least one of the couple should pursue the passion in order to achieve great heights as when they have a great sense of fulfillment, the rest falls in line and the other could pursue the passion. If everyone wait for the right time to pursue the passion, both will end up doing something they don't enjoy. There has to be at least one role model for the children to pursue their passion. If we are teaching them to pursue what they like, at least one of the parents should practice that in life and the other should explain the rationale to look after the family for not pursuing the passion. If both could do it simultaneously due to conducive environment, it is even better.

    Viswa
     
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  8. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Viswa,
    A very interesting topic. I think every man or woman who is working outside the home and having a career, would be faced with this dilemma of whether we are really satisfied with our work/progress and its worth.
    As it is said, when the basic needs of financial necessity is met to some extent, we start looking for satisfaction in the job we are doing and question the same.
    Same thing happened to me. Like many, i started working with the aim to have financial independence and i did not want to get married till i was settled in a good job. Fortunately for me, I got into a regular central govt. job when i was 23 or so, and was quite content with the working environment/fin/package etc.
    After marriage and 2 kids, my continuing in the job became an issue as i would compulsorily have to accept transfers to outstations every 2 to 3 years. Although i was basically a career oriented person and considered my job a priority, welfare of my young boys - aged 3 and 8 at the time took priority and i had to think of ways to manage. Again I would say fate was kind to me and I got selected for a PSU job which was also similar to my present job and in addition i could remain at one place without any transfers. Again after 15 years of this, when i found there was stagnation where promotions were concerned and felt i had reached saturation point at the present post, i decided to quit although i had nearly 10 years of service left. At that point i decided i had enough of working outside, and would like to pursue my hobbies and relax on the home front, and i have not regretted my decision to date.
    So, finally it boils down to not only following our desires, but thinking practically for the benefit of self and family according to circumstances.
     
  9. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Viswamitra,
    A good one....relevant to quite some.
    What al I wanted to express Jayasala Madam has explained in detail. I agree with her in toto.Thank you madam . Anyway I would add a little more.
    Ambition is a very vague word. That also keeps changing depending on the priorities of life. I am not mentioning about exceptions or gifted people who could fulfil their passions or ambitions to the full. Exceptions never make a rule. In fact there are no rules to this topic. Has to be taken in individual cases depending on their circumstances, perspectives
    which keep changing in the journey of life.
    In my view we are never completely free. Yes, some passion or some desire to do something or learn something lurks in one corner of mind. But is that the whole essence of life? We have to deal with so many things, so many relationships , so many pressures and on and on. O.k if one does not get into what one wants do you think he/she is miserable? No, they are not. They would start loving with what they have. they also lead a satisfying life....which most of the people do. For a very poor person earning money to provide for himself and family is the priority. If he is not able to do that do you think he would be happy if he fulfills his passion? Not at all.
    Interests and ambitions are also not constant and keep changing. I know one young girl, 27 or 28....after graduation she went to a world famous Chef school in Australia, studied, worked for 6 months , did not like it and came back. Then tried for civils taking coaching. Got selected but not happy. Then went to UK to study appreciation of Arts. Finished ,but does not want to take it as a career. Now contemplating what to do . Her dad had loads of money and catering to whims and fancies of daughter. His son joined a Band group after 12th class saying he does not believe in regular exam oriented education. Where he would land I do not know. Behind every successful person there are many who compromise and still happy. One has to sacrifice somethings to achieve success. That is for sure. They may convince themselves that they are getting what they want.
    It is a very vague topic.
    Thank you for a thought provoking blog.
    Syamala
     
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  10. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    I have the personality of go with flow and don't fight against the tide mentality. As a young woman of the 70's, I don't have much saying about my life or don't know, what I want and so do say, I drifted like a feather in the wind.

    Let me see...my life pattern here, my dad put me in nursing vocational group with an intention of marrying me of at the age of 18. My teacher on the first day of class, put me in 1st group (math major) saying that I do fit well in math major. My dad changed his mind after seeing my +2 scores, sent me to engineering. Graduated as a civil engineer as my dad recommended. When my family was reluctant for an abroad marriage proposal, my uncle (who is just 4-years elder) convinced the family to send me abroad. Married, followed my DH to abroad. As my DH suggested, got my masters in computer science and landed in IT industry, few decades ago. Since then, tumbled through many changes in the industry and enjoying every stage of technical growth.

    I do everything sincerely, never know where it will lead me to next...... There is always someone to steer my direction at the cross section of my life with God's grace.

    After me, there are many women engineers and doctors in my family. Still, I am the only woman living in abroad from my family :tearsofjoy:. The idea of sending their girl/boy to abroad didn't 'fly' well. Think of it, I will not send my son to abroad, either.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2016

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