Looking for Divorced/separated desis in US

Sorry to hear your situation Desidude. I thought male donot have trauma or pain about divorce. I thought only women care more about family, kids and society. May be I am wrong.

 

Hi desidude,
Certainly you are not alone and you will not be the last one but i totally agree on good support system and certainly when we are in the same boat its easy to find comfort.. pl. don't feel alone share your thoughts.

 

Hey folks,
Separated and/or divorced desis are becoming more and more common these days.
I'm another separated desi guy, going through a very rough emotional time since the last 1 year. Its very traumatic because my marriage has been in complete limbo since the last 1 year.
I desperately need some understanding desi men and women to talk to, but am not able to find someone compassionate to talk to, who has either been through this pain or understands it.

 

A failed relationship is not an easy thing for men. Loneliness, social stigma and depression affect divorced men also. The belief that a separated man can easily get the next bride is wrong. At least in Indian society

 

Op. Sorry for u. Join a meditation class. Try to reconcile with ur spouse( if possible). Try .

 

I am in a very similar situation...I am a woman separated from spouse. He literally kicked me out from home after being manipulated by his single mom and financially dependent sister. I recently found a job and doing better..but still I miss married life...he blocked me on phone and wouldnt respond at all...I want him to realize what he has done to me and get back but it wouldnt happen..his family wouldnt allow..how can some one be so stubborn? It is been an year of separation and 2 yrs of marriage..he doesnt have any friends who could talk to him from my side..totally in a helpless situation...I really need help and support...

 

I agree that both men and women feel and experience same emotions and feelings. They maybe expressing or reacting to them differently but at the core of it its all same. how to deal with them? Different things work for different situations but I am listing down the basics and must dos
1. taking care of your physical health. Eat healthy food, try to follow a sleep schedule and have a regular physical activity. It can be anything. walking, jogging, yoga, kick boxing, zumba. try and find something which fits you.
2. Career. for both men and women. Its not about "just financial independence". It gives you a reason to get out of bed every morning. It provides a distraction. When you are appreciated at work it brings back your confidence and makes you feel worthy. A major booster for your emotional health.
3. time. Give yourself time. forgive yourself. Don't think of "whats if" about past events. learn from them and move on.

I remember this from my own divorce. He accused me falsely. My relatives questioned me believing him. I was so upset and thought I will never be able to prove truth. Then I started thinking why I should prove anything to anybody. The only person who should believe in you is YOU. rest of the world doesn't really matter.

 

Hai Cyndrilla,

Sorry for your situation. It's very simple to solve your problem. I hope you have not taken your divorce yet.

Please share your H details, where he is working and what's his name. Please post here. Any of our IL friends may be working in the same company or their friends or colleagues might be at a higher position in the same company.

so try in that way and get solution for your problem.