How To Behave When In Laws Are Around

Dear OP,

Why do you want to irritate her? and why do you want to take revenge on her? I agree she did bad to you, but do you want to follow the policy of eye for an eye? or forget the past and move on with your life?

They are coming to your home, so they are your guests, treat them in a good manner and make them feel comfortable at your place. I understand they tried to project you as a bad person infront of relatives (which you are not), but by irritating or taking revenge on them will definitely make you a bad person now. Forget what they did earlier, now they are coming to your place to help you. So be nice with them and ignore whatever they talk.

Also, being a pregnant it is not good for you to have these kind of negative thoughts at the moment. Keep yourself calm and try to be nice with them and ignore if you do not like anything about them.

 

Dear.... you are pregnant now and in due course of time will deliver your baby. Postpartum period is a tough phase as woman gets physically drained after labour and has the additional responsibility of caring and feeding her baby...don't spoil your relations with your mil and co sis....you might need their help when you deliver..instead treat them very sweetly and when they go back they should have sweet memories with them...
That way at least you can request them to help you during your delivery and postpartum period.

 

Agree with @kcb and @dc24. Your pregnancy time is so precious. Use this time to rest, bond with baby, keep yourself happy and try not to think about the upcoming visit. IT is hard, I know. But unless they cancel their travel plans or some other miracle happens, they are coming. In the meantime, you have the biggest miracle with you. Your baby will make everything worthwhile. Keep your thoughts and mind busy on only happy things and happy people. Let others waste their energy on mindless tricks and plans. Watch some fun comedies on netflix, baby videos or fun dramas. When they come, hook them up with responsibilities around the house for first 1 month or so. After that your baby will keep them busy. Stay happy stay relaxed.

Oh yeah and those rules you mentioned in the other post (Which I loveeee), print them out for you or keep them saved on your phone as a reminder when ILs or Co-sis irritate you. Those rules you mentioned are like the 7 commandments of a married life. I have them saved on my phone for easy reference.

Good luck!

 

I agree with the others...nothing works in these cases only that you will feel more frustrated. I have come to the conclusion that when it comes to in-laws the less I talk, the better. The more you try to defend yourself, the more you fight and its a never ending battle. I know they are coming for long time, so ensure you have develop some new hobbies that will keep you engaged. I generally stay away from the kitchen and cook for myself when its free (I cook healthy meals so i couldn't eat that stuff anyway). Less fights that way about who is doing what and how I should cook. You have the excuse of being pregnant. So you can say that you want to eat healthy.

 

IF I may, Her time will come soon honey. Let her karma unfold at that time. IF you want to and if it feels better, talk your heart out with her at the right time, post delivery when you will have your baby

oh dear, I know that frustration when you try hard to gel with MIL and try to forgive and forget the past, one day goes normal and next day she is back to her usual self. I felt that so many times. Earlier I used to write to vent out my frustration but that was too dangerous. MIL has a habit of going through my stuff. One such day when I didnt know what to do anymore, I came across IL and few other DIL blogs. I vented out so bad initially. Every post i read, I saw something similar in my case. The more i wrote here, the more I felt better, dare I say pretty good. I am able to go on with MIL only because of that. Even though she visits us for short time and i stay away from her almost all day, venting out is essential- for all of us. Especially myself and DH. There is only so much my guy can listen to. So come here, vent all you want but once done, put on your fav music, read ur fav books, do whatever u like to do and try to relax. Pour your emotions here, but once done, try to forget them. IF you keep anger inside you for long time, especially in this delicate time, it will only be uncomfortable for you and the baby. When I vent out here and my Devil-in-law creates another raucous drama at home, I am able to smile at her. She just keeps wondering about my reaction. Now with almost a month of joining here, I see that her dramas are not affecting much. DH happy, Me happy and she is going nuts. Consider us as your non judging soundboard.

 

Dear...just follow Minimalistic approach...minimum talk...minimum interactions....start doing meditation...it has soooo soothing effect....will help you stay calm and hence very good for your baby...
When these ladies bother you....just take deep breaths to the count of 10...just imagine the sweet face and little soft fingers of your little one holding yours...and release your breath slowly.....
You will be much relaxed.....

 

@vibha_81 even when I talk less it is an issue for them, even when I talk to them they have complains that I praised someone other than her ( which I did unintentionally) yeah you are right I think I need to stop defending myself but I stopped saying anything good or bad about them to DH.. I just don't talk about them. If I will cook or just cut fruits for myself only then that will be a big issue. There is issues on drop of the hat and that's too you come to know after so many months in some fight and before that you have to go through so much tantrums and never ending recentment from DH. I am so emotionally drained out. Even I have no acceptation left from him as well. Ya I started doing some craft work, wall decor to divert myself. Thanks all for your kind support[/QUOTE]


Husbands should understand but alas most of us are unfortunate in that aspect! With my MIL If I talk a lot I reveal things which get twisted and told to everybody in a bad way..If I don't talk they say that I don't talk..I find that one single complaint is better so I stopped talking gradually. Go somewhere where they are not around and vent out aloud or even open a daily vent thread and post here its very soothing to do 15 min a day than thinking all day about them..All I would tell you is that since this will be there forever try acquiring the skill of spacing out...try doing 63*78 and keep nodding your head (chicken head shake), they may think you are listening My FIL was a gem but unfortunately he passed away, my bad luck! I used to talk to him more about general things..may be you could do the same with your FIL so that they cannot say that you ignore your in-laws.

Stay safe and All the best with your pregnancy!!