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My Daughter- The most precious

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by meril, Nov 8, 2013.

  1. leenarajaryan

    leenarajaryan Silver IL'ite

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    Sorry to say Meril but so big gaps are making the charm of the story loose... Pls update regularly.
    Your story is very nice but the gaps tend us to forget the main theme. Keep writing & posting...
     
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  2. meril

    meril Gold IL'ite

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    My Daughter- The most precious!

    As Ashvini went inside, Shan sensed Kumar’s anxiety.

    “Kumar bhiya, they are just coming to see Ashvini. I don’t think we need to prepare so much. At least, let go of the minute details of the house.

    “No, Shan. Haven’t you heard of the saying: The first impression is the best impression?” , said Kumar trying to prove himself.

    Shan wasn’t sure how to convince him. By then Shan noticed someone else join the existing gardener in mowing the lawn.

    “Who is that man?” asked Shan out of mere curiosity. “Oh, the lawn is huge. So I had asked the gardener to appoint someone else to help him.

    Shan couldn’t understand why Kumar was so excited and was worried if this proposal doesn’t go any further.

    “Kumar bhiya, it is just the first proposal. There might be better ones coming up.”, said Shan attempting to convince him.

    “No, he is good, really good!” , said Kumar louder than usual.It seems that his opinion didn't matter to Kumar.

    Ashvini gets back with a cup of tea and few snacks for Shan. Shan picked up the cup and turned away from Kumar. He regretted coming and attempting to convince Kumar. Shan felt neglected.

    Ashvini placed the snacks on the table once she offered it to Kumar and walked towards Shan who remained silent.

    She noticed Shan wasn’t as pleasant as he was when he had come. She wondered what the reason could be.

    In order to start a conversation she asked: How is Rohan, he was complaining that his mom gives him a lot of homework.

    “Shan just mocks and sips his tea.” Ashvini gazed at Shan teary eyes and asked: Is everything fine?

    Oh, yeah! Everything is absolutely fine with me. "Hope everything would be fine with you Ashvini." says Shan and hands over the half empty tea cup to Ashvini.

    “I’m leaving” he claims loud enough for Kumar to hear too.

    As Kumar look at him, he waves a salute and walks towards his car and of he drives off the gate.

    Ashvini turns back at her dad who was by then busy instructing the new helper. She felt it was pointless asking Kumar of the change in Shan’s behaviour. Ashvini assumed it was something that dad said which triggered Shan.

    Shan calls up Reshmi to vent out. Reshmi answered the call after 3 long rings.

    Reshmi: Yes Shan.

    Shan: Are you busy?

    Reshmi: Well, the boss is around. What happened?

    Shan: I had visited bhiya on my way back home.

    Reshmi: Ohh really, what is happening there, I wanted to come too. (in a cheerful tone)

    Shan: It looks like he is getting ready for the wedding rather than a meeting; I don’t understand what if the guy doesn’t agree to the proposal or if Ashvini doesn’t like it. (Shan’s voice rises)

    Reshmi: In that case, it wouldn’t happen. (Confused of Shan’s behaviour)

    Shan: Exactly, don’t think he is even thinking of it that way, he doesn’t seem to be giving a second thought. I feel sorry for Ashvini.

    Reshmi: Ahh.. Shan.. Can we talk about it once I reach home. (The office landline rings)

    Shan: Yea.. okay, I just wanted to burst out at someone. You carry on.


    To be continued..
     
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  3. aarthi28

    aarthi28 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hey Merril

    You have captured the father's thoughts very well and his anxiety in his daughter getting a good life.
    I really liked it and moving with the story well... dear...Tooo gud...
     
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  4. Rampuri9

    Rampuri9 Silver IL'ite

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    Nice one meril
    The story - your narration is s just like the way it happens in our household. Loved the way each character is moulded
     
    meril likes this.
  5. leenam05

    leenam05 Platinum IL'ite

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    Good update meril!
     
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  6. Deepu04

    Deepu04 IL Hall of Fame

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    Good episodes ... Waiting for the next posts
     
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  7. meril

    meril Gold IL'ite

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    My Daughter- The most precious

    Kumar asks the driver take the car and he goes out with him later in the evening. He arranges for the snacks and sweets to be served tomorrow from a famous bakery, and asked if it could be delivered at 9:30 AM.The baker agrees on it. Kumar set out to office to take a peek at what has been happening today.

    Kumar reached home by dinner time, Ashvini felt the need to let him know that she would only get married to the guy if he allows her to study further.

    Kumar took a chaptti while Ashvini volunteered to serve some paneer tikka masala.

    Ashvini clears her throat and asked: Dad, what does this proposed guy do?
    Kumar: (excitedly) He is an IT professional, working for IBM. He is going to abroad on Monday for an official trip and would be there for a month. The wedding can only be held after that, Kumar said softly.

    ..and he has done his Masters in States. Nice, he is well educated, good job and good looking too.

    “Dad, seems to be giving him distinction” , thought Ashvini as she mocked.

    “Dad, if he is well educated, don’t I have to be too? Wouldn’t he expect his wife to be well educated too?” , asked Ashvini

    “Dad, I want to do my further studies even after my wedding and if is willing for it, I wouldn’t be getting married to him.” , said Ashvini finally making her point clear.

    “Ohh.. okay” , said Kumar sounding obscure.

    “I will talk to him and ask him, if he agree to it and if everything else is fine with everyone. We can take this proposal forward or else, please don’t force me, dad” , said Ashvini sounding adamant as help seemed to be coming from nowhere for her.

    Kumar had no choice other than agreeing to his young lady.

    “Okay Ashvi” , said Kumar without another word and continued with his dinner.

    Both of them headed over to their respective rooms’ right after dinner, Ashvini slides open her wardrobe to decide on her outfit for the next day, she browses through the sarees, kurtas and then stops by the salwar kameez.

    There were few bright gaudy ones which she had worn for Kumar’s employees' daughters/sons weddings and other functions. She ignored them and took a look at the simple cotton ones hung beside them.

    While she was engrossed in the selection, Kumar knocks at her door and remind Ashvini to go to sleep as she needs to wake up early. She agrees to him and he leaves her room.

    Ashvini couldn’t make up her mind of the outfit to wear the next day and decided to wait for Reshmi's suggestion.

    Kumar enters his room which was enlightened by the bed lamp placed on a table right beside his bed. He gets on his bed and pulls over the blanket and turns over to the lamp to turn it off. He couldn’t let go of the picture frame with a picture of him and Asha.

    Kumar takes the frame and gazed at her bright attractive eyes, he gets hold of the golden frame which had lost it's shine due to age; he looked at Asha and says, a young smart man is coming to see our daughter tomorrow. His visions blurred by then as tears filled his eyes.

    He places the frame carefully back and recollected Asha pulling him to their bedroom right after his work to show him the framed picture which was gifted to them by one of his colleague on their first wedding anniversary. She placed the frame beside the table lamp just the way it is still placed.

    To be continued..
     
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  8. Rampuri9

    Rampuri9 Silver IL'ite

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    Nice update meril ..we are also waiting for ashok and ashivini's meet as eagerly as kumar :)
     
  9. sangeethakripa

    sangeethakripa Gold IL'ite

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    Good going meril.. Nice flow.. A frequent update will make it more interesting dear.
     
  10. anupama1

    anupama1 Platinum IL'ite

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    It's good that Ashvini made her point clear to her Dad.
     

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