Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong

Life is short and like dc24 suggested, they should have a get together in the close knitted family. Younger sister wanting to attend is about attachment, sense of belonging and sharing family moments together and I feel the elder sister is being super practical which one wouldnt do with immediate family members. It's like saying to your sister - dont come to my wedding from the US, give me money you will spend in tickets + gift in cash.

P.S. There is not everything mastercard can buy.

 

Eventually every must leave this planet....i shudder to think of the time when parents are no more and the rift between siblings is so deep that they no longer withstand each other.
See....for most people like us...buying a house is a once in a lifetime or at the most a twice in a lifetime event....moreover buying a property means spending in lakhs...
So what i mean to say that for few thousand bugs why spoil beautiful relationships......

 

Well, we can't actually blame the elder sister here.

The younger sister was planning to attend this function (which is planned to be conducted in a very low profile) with her whole family, including the in inlaws. This would not just add to hosting expenses for many, but also force the elder sister/parents to conduct the pooja/function in a grand manner. It adds up expectations. coz you can't conduct a small low profile function with many people, who are not just your blood relatives, but others like in laws.
That too when the father of that house is not present (not sure whether the elder sister's family, including her in laws were present or not), things would get unnecessarily complected; resulting in high expenses. Instead, I feel the elder sister was right in asking her sister to share whatever the ticket cost, with parents as they apparently depend on their elder daughter even for minor expenses like hosting a pooja. This might relieve the elder daughter.

Alternatively, the second daughter could share at least 50% of the pooja expenses, and bear her family's stay/expenses so that no one is burdened.

 

If the younger sister wants to attend,maybe she alone can attend instead of inviting everybody and adding more expenses.

 

I think it should be the parents to decide who comes and how big the celebration should be.

The older daughter being a helper , probably not just financially , is looked upon as an advisor but she should not let her help make her the decision maker.She should get her rightful share in the house but parents should get to decide.

As for the younger one.....she has no business trying to force her entire village on her parents.Her sister is right.If she has the money to get her whole family...she should have helped the parents out a bit at least.

 

Helping parents financially does not mean u get to dictate everything. Its the parents call.
Elder helped with the house -she can make sure the legal documents are clean .

How big is the family? Does she mean the two daughters their spouses /kids ? As opposed to just 2 of them(mom and elder daughter ?)
OR is it large extended family . How big is the family?
If its 1 -?elder one is being petty.
She can certainly say she does not have the bandwidth to support a large family function in which case the younger one can choose to pitch in for the cost of the function. A simple catered lunch /dinner is an option.

The cost of a catered lunch/dinner (unless we are talking a whole town ) is typically orders of magnitude less than the cost of a house . One may not be able to help with the house but that does not mean u throw that back on their face each time they propose something.

The only time when all this is moot is when parents are physically unable to handle the strain of a get-together and in that case health and well being takes utmost priority.

 

I feel elder one has all the rights to say about the function. If younger sister reallys wants a grand function, she can offer to spend for pooja and food completely for entire function. If she thinks it is elder sister's house and why to spend money for pooja or food, then she has no rights to tell her elder sister to do the grand function. I feel sometimes people get blame even after spending lot of money and effort. Elder sister must have went through lot of pressure from her in laws side to spend this amount of money for parents house. So she might be trying to balance both the sides. And its better register everything now itself legally.

 

Is it possible the elder is objecting because if the younger one calls her inlaws and extended family...she will have to do the same....
May be her in laws are not happy or do not know that she helped and hence keeping it small.

 

Its hasnt been clarified what she means by family.