The Second Car!!

Car depreciates so can't be considered as an investment. I would advise investing in real estate.

Get a financial adviser who can estimate the savings needed for all the future expenses like kids education, medical costs (including parents if they need help), retirement, rainy day fund, expenses etc. Based on that have direct contribution from the bank. Just be careful most adviser's are sharks so don't invest in their recommendations but do a good research but at least it will be an eye opener.

 

OP, Let your in laws ride him for some more time. Your hubby has to see the light himself. Use your car for you and the kids. Whatever happens until they themselves see the light, nothing can happen. Once it ties your hubby's hands, he will realize.Good Luck.

 

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Good to hear that you are feeling better now.
Awesome, with meetings and regular tracking of incomes and expenses, you both will get the handle on the cash flow in your household (more for you than him). So please continue at it. I know it sounds mundane when we live and breath meetings at work, but this one has its special value. It is like you are the CFO of your household and just like companies have these meetings/ discussions to bring justice to their bottom lines, we as a couple, can and must make them as our priority for sound finances.

I read your replies to all other posters here. The consistent theme is that he is not willing to put in his efforts to contribute in immediate/ long term financial needs/ wants of your family. Do you think he will be open to navigating/ reading/ learning personal finance basics on his own? At times, when we wives want our hubbies to understand our view point, they tend to ignore us. But if they read/ study on their own, husbands might just try to change their attitude towards money matter. IF yes, I can suggest few good starter books. If not, it might just push him away. So i am checking with you first.

I see that you have a plan on how to go about purchasing the new car for DH. I have few concerns about the logistics of this plan:

- Choosing a car- Taking your brother's help in selecting the car is a good start. But since you are buying a car for DH, I think involving him or letting him choose a car will be good for two reasons. 1st, when the guy test drives a car, and he likes it, no one has to convince him to buy it. Personally, my guy prefers to choose the vehicle and will not mind me negotiating the deal. 2nd, Once he chooses the car, he will be asked to sign the loan and pay the DP (down-payment). There are higher chances that he will commit to the monthly payments as well. Of course, the parameters to choose a vehicle should come from your family budget. That way he will know how much you guys can afford, how much you all can spend towards monthly payments in your family budget and he gets his say on choosing his vehicle. He will be happy and you will be relived from the worry to convince him to pay monthly payments. ( I think, I may be too optimistic of the outcome of this situation but) I strongly suggest letting him choose a car for himself. You do not want to risk buying another car for him, which he might end up disliking or worse giving away to FIL.

- Putting DP towards the car. IMO, a big NO . I read that you CAN NOT depend on him to save for the kids. So your savings are for your kids/ for emergencies. You need them as you are taking a break from work. I am assuming it is hitting your family's cash flow in a big way. If you can help it, invest your savings in long term financial instruments- FD, Stocks, Govt bonds whatever you are comfortable as per your risk appetite. Once you invest, do not even remember that you have that tucked away. Ideally, your DH should be aware of those. But if he constantly expects you to use your savings for big ticket purchases, that is not fair to the kids.

In your monthly budget, try and add another goal category for saving towards DP. It might take you couple of months to save for that goal. But he will have to fork that out from his salary. IF you want to, be creative in saving somewhere else in your budget. Here, that test drive will come handy. IF he likes the feel of the new car, he would want to inquire about the financials- especially DP, he would want to take another credit card loan to pay the DP ( object it), he would not want to drive that old rusty car of yesteryear for long time, he would want to get a new car immediately and he would not listen to his folks remarks of asking you or your bro for investing in one. ( again, Am i too optimistic about the outcome? IF i am, please forgive me.) But this way, you will not dip into your savings.
My devil mind thinks, this is a good time to check if his so-called buddies help him with the DP. DH does not mind asking help from others, then do you want to suggest him to ask a help from "so and so buddy". See if they offer to help him. and if they do not, atleast DH will get one lesson to control his hand in helping them with their financial needs.

In general,
I would not suggest taking a lease car. Financially, it does not make sense, if you are planning to use the car for long term. Do you guys prefer new car always? I generally would not mind getting a certified pre-owned vehicle as a 2nd vehicle for my family. IT reduces my insurance and previous owner has already taken a hit on its depreciation. But then again, I use the used car, not hubby. I personally do not mind with the trade-off between saving for long term and driving an old car till it does on me.

Hope you make the right decision for your family. Good luck!

 

Dont let ur mom involve in your fights and similarly dont let him discuss your problems with his side too..