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Balancing Life.. Career Vs Ttc

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by coffeecups, Jul 27, 2016.

  1. coffeecups

    coffeecups Gold IL'ite

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    With a heavy heart I type this
    I have been married for 3.5yrs and for the first 3 years I was doing my post graduation. Now I have completed and I'm working for the past 3 months. My job on a whole is OK except for few days a week when it can be quite stressful. The thing is both my husband and me are 30 and TTC.
    But we are not putting in the right efforts to conceive.
    The main reason I perceive is our work.
    1. It sucks in much of our time and energy during day hours
    2. Long traveling time to work (both of us work at the same place)
    3. I get tired soon. By 9pm I want to hit the bed and start feeling irritable
    4. I have a cook and maid but then I end up helping my cook as my husband is a fussy eater and doesn't eat veggies. Hence have to read food blogs and try new recipes for him. (I enjoy cooking but sometimes menu choosing can be stressful too)
    5. I m a bit obese and take some tabs for my cholesterol. Probably need to shed 10kgs or so and I have squeezed in a gym schedule in the evening at 7. I want to incorporate some exercise so that I can be healthy when TTC. But this again is energy sapping
    6. And reg my personal career, I need to constantly study and update myself reg recent guidelines as I also teach med students
    All these responsibilities are overwhelming me, and for the past two months I am always irritable and on aolow battery mode.
    This job is important to me as I have to finish one year to register my Pg degree. (Govt rules for doctors)
    Now my options are
    1. Quit the job. Take a 6 month break. Recuperate my health and energy. And simultaneously TTC. In case I conceive, I will continue to stay home till my child turns one. Then continue with my job and finish the one year then.
    But this will be a major blow to my career and with changing guidelines by medical council of India, I'm unsure whether this one year compulsory job may turn to 3 years in future (which will be very difficult)
    2. Continue with my job and weight management goals and postpone TTC ( if it happens that's fine, but not worry too much about it) for another 6-8 months by which time I will almost finish my one year job.
    And finally I think I'm a little, though not the typical type a personality too.
    I would like all people who have crossed this scenario esp working moms who had a demanding job and TTC to advise me. Any suggestions reg the pitfalls of my 2 options are also welcome.
    Please avoid negative criticism while replying
    Thank you
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Since you are almost halfway through your one-year commitment and the future rules seem unclear I would go ahead and finish it out. You can try TTC alongside, and take a proper break if needed once your one-year is up. You will also be more relaxed with the commitment out of the way. It is hard to take care of yourself with such a heavy workload.
    In the meantime speak to your husband and come to an understanding regarding food. It is going to add to your workload if you have to make different dishes in addition to having a cook. Maybe you can agree on a few things he likes, rotate those and teach your cook how to make them. Wish you good luck.
     
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  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Can understand your feelings dear because I also had been a working woman. I second Malstorm . Dont leave the job and can try TTC too. YOu will be successful in both and pray to God. Everything is in His hands and he will show the right path and I am sure you will conceive and be successful in your job too
     
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  4. coffeecups

    coffeecups Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you so much. Actually I have 9 more months of work to go. Hence the dilemma.
    Anyways thank you so much for d advice
     
  5. coffeecups

    coffeecups Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you so much mam
     
  6. deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

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    As others said, dont quit your job... Take care of ttc along with the job.... As s doctor, you know what you need to do... :)... take 2 -3 days leave and enjoy with your DH... Time your ovulation and plan ttc...rest will fall in place...
     
  7. 28neha

    28neha Platinum IL'ite

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    in this 7-8 month period you can reduce your weight and you can finish your internship also..after that you can try to conceive.

    dont worry about age your not so old :)

    all the best..
     
  8. Desiindian

    Desiindian Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Coffecups,


    I can understand your situation.
    My suggestion would be do not quit your job now. If you quit, you would be keep thinking about TTC progress all the time at home. This will add stress. While on TTC, thinking and staying positive is equally important in addition to medication. Work will keep you busy from other thoughts.

    How about shifting your house closer to your office? Continue the job and work on weight management through expert guidance. Never think of postponing TTC. Wishing you good luck.
     
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  9. ranirm

    ranirm Bronze IL'ite

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    Continue youd job as it is important for you now..so you can try reducing your weight this 9 months and then ttc
     
  10. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Why? You are allowed to take leave of up to one year while job/seniority are guaranteed? Or, something else?

    Don't bank too strongly on going back to work at a certain time. Some women manage to do it as planned, and for some it takes 2-3 years beyond when they had planned to go back to work.

    Given the overall description and the hard work you have put in, I would suggest get rid of the notion of taking a long leave. You have 9 months of required work to go. Postpone the start of TTC by 3 months.
     

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