Rock The Sahm Role ✌

@blindpup10 and @chillbreeze, thanks dears I have had this list for a long time, but the daily column is a new addition. Since I was anyway doing it, I felt that I did not require it, but putting it down in writing has helped me a lot. Also don't think that I do it all perfectly, I am far from it. I try as much as possible to stick to it. The regular chores of cleaning and the kids studies are usually done, but the others may not always be as planned. I do whatever I can. On days that I do the weekly, monthly etc chores, the daily work is usually not done. Its only a guideline and it helps me remember things like calling the AC guys for service.

 

@Bubbles, thanks dear. I wanted to reply now, but got to run. I will come back later to edit this reply. Take care bye.

 

Thank you dear, but I do not deserve being called superwoman. I am one of the laziest people I know. I appear to have my act together, but given half a chance, I will prefer not to do it. My idea of a perfect day would be having the cooking and cleaning being taken care by someone else and myself having the whole day to lazy around reading books or going for walks, and enjoying time with kids (no studies involved). But I know that is not going to happen unless I have a live-in maid and my kids have home-tutors I can trust.... sigh..... so I have no option but to do what I do. Do I resent it, yeah sometimes it gets to me. But I try and refocus, always re-examining my motives. It helps to take a breather, and my H is a sweet guy who know when I am about to be burned out, so he pitches in more, takes me out and pampers me. It is not said or done explicitly, but somehow over the years I have noticed this. I like the planning part of my work at home, it gives me direction. If something is vague, it gives me headache and anxiety. If I know, I can deal. I don't know if it is making sense, but it somehow does for me.

I think more than maturity I think it is because of our background - we were married quite young I was 23 and he 25, and we had known each other all over lives, and kinda knew we would be married when we grow up. So there was a mutual acceptance, affection, and respect from the start. We have been a team, so there is less ego, and expectations are not beyond what is already there, so the disappointments are fewer. When there are disappointments (usually from my side, as he has not expressed any so far), I talk about it and do not hold it to myself. May not be immediately, but within a reasonable time, and we are able to talk through and understand each other better, things are forgiven easily.

 

Thanks Divya I do get bored and stop doing stuff for a while, but when things get too messy it irritates me enough to get back on track. It is an on and off thing, but somehow it works and having a list gives me a sense of direction.

The cooking for party days seem to be over now..... or at least we don't do it in such size. We stopped celebrating kids birthdays in a grand scale after my younger one turned 3. We have it now as a family affair, going to temple and cutting cakes and stuff, but no invitees from outside. This was a conscious decision because we saw that people get carried away with all this birthday party gala.... themed parties, standards to keep up with the return gifts... it seems like too much money and effort for nothing and also kids expect things to get bigger and bigger every year. May not be for everyone, but that seems to be the general trend. We did not want that for our kids. So we have explained it to them. We can go to temple, movie, or the beach as a family and celebrate, and thats about it.

Totally wandering away from the point.... haha.... but thanks dear, re-reading the post brought back lots of wonderful memories for me and also made be think that I had not written any snippets of late.

 

Hi Cliona,
Thanks dear I have a meal planner, a grocery master list, a recent one is a morning and evening routine chart. Of course, I don't stick to them strictly but they are basic guidelines of sorts

This is my meal plan. The items highlighted in yellow are items that I pack for DH and kids.

 

Akila, your post strikes a chord with me. I too feel exactly the same way. Given the option, I would happily lounge around in pyjamas with a book and cup of tea and spend time in front of tv. But what to do? I go crazy if I see things are not clean or not in order around the house and also who will feed my poor stomach. DH won't cook to save his life and I can't survive on outside food. So no other option to get up and do whatever needs to be done. Only now I realize how my mom would have felt/feel and try to help her as much as I can when I visit.

And I too feel overwhelmed by the list of work to be done and listing them and making meal plans helps me to clear my thoughts and stay grounded. Lists for things to do on daily basis, weekly basis, exercises to do, list to track personal expenses, household expenses, investments/savings, grocery list, other household items list, etc etc. But at times I feel my life is being run by lists and think if I am making my life complicated. Surely my mom or mil don't use lists but they manage to run their families successfully all these years. When all this gets to me, I too pause, stop all this for a day or two and relax. Then back to work as usual.

@Bubbles you are doing so much work with a baby to take care of and look at me cribbing. I do feel I ought to do much more with the time I have but I am quite lazy.

@cliona hope things are okay with you and your DH. Hugs to you dear.