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Changes You Brought Within Yourself And Spouse

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by pinky2cute, Jul 25, 2016.

  1. pinky2cute

    pinky2cute Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello to all the gorgeous ladies of IL,

    Please welcome me to this married forum since I'm newly married [6months].
    Previously , I had been posting here my advices even when I was single, but feeling happy to now post as married woman :) [eeesh touchwood]

    My 6months of married life so far [arranged marriage] has not been a smooth sail. I'm having my own issues with inlaws and few issues with husband but overall, I have no complaints of chosing my DH as my partner.
    I believe every marriage whether love or arranged, is like shooting an arrow in the dark. You may be lucky [when you get good inlaws and DH] or unlucky [monstrous inlaws and/or good for nothing DH].

    The purpose of this thread is to know, what has changed within you after marriage and what have you changed in your spouse [or your spouse changed for you] so as to live a comfrtable and peaceful married life?

    To begin with,

    I am an ambitious girl who aims to step up the ladder of success but with her feet grounded.
    I do not and will not ever compromise on my morals,ethics and honesty.
    At the same time, I do make sure I fulfil my responsibilities of a good wife.

    I was less patient previously but now I started being more patient as DH and I had lots of fights initial days [ I know it happens almost in every newly married couple's life owing to different personalities and different upbringings]
    So Ihad to be more patient and solve the things with DH since he is still a mumma's boy.

    And his mumma teaches his boy to never accept whatever his wife says.


    Similarly, my DH changed a bit for me. He used to be still in his bachelor mode and is still in mumma's darling boy mode but slowly he is changing.

    Whoever says one should not change for others is either wrong or isluckiest person on earth to get a partner with all the features... because, in a sacredbond like that of husband and wife's, where two different people are bonded together for life, you gotta change something within you and bring change in your partner.
    That's the only way the relationship grows positively.
    Marriage is all about adjustments, letting go, forgiving and accepting [few]things that cannot be changed.




    Waiting to hear from other ladies.
    Till then ciao
    pinky
     
    drdiva and inboxsweetee like this.
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  2. anehstar

    anehstar Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Pinky,

    Agree with what you said. I am also newly married (8 months).My inlaws dont stay with us.. So not much interaction.. Just a phone call daily, talk to them for few mins and thats all. It took some time to get used to talking daily. On the Contrary , my hubby doesn't speak with my parents so often. He doesn't mind talking, its just that he doesnt know what to talk daily and thus it becomes awkward for him. I dont push him either. He said he ll open up slowly. So once or twice in a month he speaks to them and thats ok for me. Initial days, We too had lot of altercations on petty issues which used to make both of us mad. Now learnt to be patient and more understanding, accepting the way the other person is. We both have changed a lot for good. He reduced his anger. I increased my patience level and reduced my expectations. I felt may be am pushing him too much to behave in a certain way. Something I learnt in last 6 months is to develop the habit of "Let go" and to end the day after resolving the issue no matter how much small or worst it is! Carrying the anger and resentment the next day spoils the whole mood. This has helped us a lot in keeping things calm and relaxed at home.
    So yes.. its all about making small sacrifices, adjustments and letting go which works!
    Btw , off topic.. Congratulations for your wedding!! :):)
     

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