In A Very Bad Place!!!!

She is in a phase of bereavement. Read about them and try to help her positively.
Good luck.

 

Your mom is definitely feeling low. In addition to her restlessness at home, due to dad's demands she has witnessed death in her very close circle. The people who are no more mattered a lot to your mom, no doubt. So, she will be mourning for sure.
You must accept her reason for mourning, and lend your shoulder to cry. Rather than instructing her to see a psychiatrist for this. Her depression is fairly justifiable, and normal. Anyone in her shoes, specially at this age will feel depressed.

There is something called supportive counselling. It can be given by the close relatives or family members without any professional background.
As a daughter, you can be with her for sometimes. Talk to her, change the topic, take her out of her house, and visit temples, etc...
Make her meet her friends, mingle with her other relatives and see people outside.
Make her busy both physically and mentally.
Don't let her mourn all alone all the time. If she needs some private time, respect her needs too.
Give her all the options and suggestions and let her chose what is best for her.
If your dad is still demanding, then advice him to be polite, at least now.
Cut down his demands, and facilitate something like cooking, cleaning etc.. from your end. So that your mom will be freed. If she wishes, let her spend sometimes with her sister/bro's family.

But see a counselor, not a psychiatrist if you feel restless for this matter. You should be in a position to help your mom; thus be bold and active. Your weakness, restlessness and sleepless nights did tell something, which is alarming.
Although your worries for your mom is justifiable, but the symptoms are not normal.

 

Dear OP....
There is not much you can do about the deaths in the family except be there for her.It takes time to get over something like this.

As for your father being demanding ,have you tried talking to him or both of them together.
I went through something similar with both my parents.

my mother was being overly bitter and snappy with my father.When I mentioned it to her and asked her why ,she complained about how my dad was being unreasonable about something and giving her a hard time.
I sat with both of them and told them what I felt.Told my dad to back off as unlike him,my mom had not got a retirement from work and he was being unreasonable. told my mom she cannot act rude with dad.Made them both shake hands and they both seem better now.

Sometimes children have to just let them know.
Tell your dad to back of a bit as your mom is also getting older .Tell him to help her out a bit if he thinks that it will help her.It is important to make them feel that you understand them and just giving your view. Tell your dad you want him to help you help your mom .

Most importantly ,just be there for your mom. Hug her ,hold her hand without talking.If she wants to talk,listen.
If she likes her hair being oiled ,do that ,make her hair.......massage her hands with some moisturizer. Touching is great therapy.
She has visited the shrink. If she feels it will help her...she will visit again. Ask her if she felt better after the visit and if she feels it will help her.Let her decide. Forced visits won't help in this case.

 

Dear op,
Everyone has to face these situations or some people have curse donno.
3 yrs back my grand mom died. Exact 1 month after my brother got divorced.
I called my mom to US in few months, took her out , every weekend she kind of recovered from that.

Now 2 months back my grand father died and past 6 months my dad has become demanding coz he fell and got leg injury.

So imagine my mom situation.
My grand parents were neighbors and very close. . So now my sister went india for a month and made all health checkups to my mom dad , took restaurants movies.
She evenwanted to take them cousnelling to pattabhiram but mom said later.

Me and my sis decided to visit them often and give support not just talk on phones.
Am telling it makes lot of diff.
Visit ur mom and spend time

 

OP,
I am not educationally eligible to suggest what should/should not be done in this case. But talking from my personal experience, I suggest taking her for over all health check up also. AT times, we need to test our assumptions regarding health, is it only a depression or something else in her physical health that is triggering a neurological response? An over all health check with blood work and thyroid test will not hurt. Besides, the reports might help her take a decision to seek the solution- counselor/ doctor/ shrink.

Also remember that our parent's generation has been brought up differently. Thinking of shrink, let alone see one for their own treatment, is a big taboo for them. So it is ok if she takes time to see a shrink/ doctor regularly. Until then, please try to follow the wonderful suggestions other ILs have given here.

Try you tube for free meditations- there are all sort of meditations for every need. It will take time but it will definitely be relaxing for her.

At times, in bereavement, the soul wants to be self and alone. To give an example, I recovered my tough time with the help of meditation and alternative healing. Family suggested seeing a shrink but I didnt (and I am in my 30s, so I can understand your mom). I was in a state, where I stopped crying and my BP went up crazy. Acupuncture helped me heal a great deal. During one such session,when I started crying ( literally howling), my therapist suggested my husband and mom to leave me alone. I recovered so much faster after that session. Some answers come to us when we are ready for them honey. Your mum will receive hers when her soul is ready. Until then, be a supportive wonderful daughter you are to her- and please don't beat yourself up for getting angry on your mum. You are worried sick for her. It is ok. That is what most daughters do.

Stay strong and good luck!