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How Should I Feel?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by monita, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    I am posting after a very long time and i don't know if I should or not. Need to vent I guess. I don't know if this is a petty issue. I wonder how should a dil feel when her DH sends her by economy because business class is too expensive and then later flies business class with his mother on the same airlines(I am not sure about the price of the tickets but I guess it must be cheaper by about $1000 if there was a promo)?
    I told my sisters. they were really appreciative of my DH. My sis said her dh doesn't send his mother ticket but he says if he would send ticket for his mother then he would send for his inlaws(i.e. my parents too). they think they are both great guys.they don't think it's an issue at all.
    How can I stop feeling bad?
    P.S.- If you don't like this thread, I can delete it.
     
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  2. madras2018

    madras2018 Platinum IL'ite

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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Short answer is it would feel bad. Longer answer:

    Depends on why husband and MIL traveled by business class. What class do the husband and wife usually travel when not accompanied by MIL. Does MIL have some health problems. Was there a good deal going on that was not there when the DIL traveled. Does the DIL care much about the economy/business difference otherwise, or is it just MIL went business class, so she is bothered. Are there other things in which more gets spent on DIL than the MIL.

    Talk with husband casually about it to figure out why it happened. Start to book own tickets.
     
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  4. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    yes, I told him I will book my own ticket next time. but not so casually. Big mistake. we are not talking any more.
     
  5. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    No that scenario is quite different. There is no mil in that picture. Moreover what makes it worse is that as a spouse I am entitled to a BC ticket while for MIL he has to pay from his own pocket. He says he wants to save his company's money.
     
  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    It is cheap and mean. If the company is paying for it, hr really ought not have booked you in economy.

    Yes. You do need to pull him up for it and let him know next time on he better not be cheeky.
     
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  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    How should you feel?
    You should feel super pissed and extremely disrespected.
    If this is not the first time,then I blame you for not taking the roof down the first time it happened.
    You are the caretaker for his mom at home...but he flies with her BC.

    Why could he not take you in BC?
    If he is so worried about expenses to his company....why does he not down grade to economy and save his company some more money?

    I say have it out with him.Tell him he is cheap and a jerk.
    Next time refuse to travel alone first. Travel with those two and ask him to get your boarding pass for you and ask him to escort you to economy and then he can go to his BC.

    Hugs to you dear. After so many years of marriage you deserve better.

    This is not about money...this is about the lack of concern for spouses feeling.
     
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  8. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    When company books his tickets in BC, you , as a spouse, will also get BC when you travel with him ( every company has a different policy though). So why travel EC alone, when you can travel BC with him? Do not do that, if you can help it. IF your travel dates are different and money is an issue, i would say it is a trade-off. But make sure you redeem your travel miles with BC next time you have to travel alone.

    Has MIL ever travelled alone? is yes, was it in BC always? Also, has it happened that when 3 of you are travelling together and DH asks you to travel by EC and get his mom on BC? If yes, that is not acceptable.

    As far as, MIL's frequent travel on BC and her expenses being 20 times more than DIL, I can not add anything here. May be she crated a bar for herself- like she wouldnt travel except in BC, especially when she has no health concerns that compels her to travel BC. Some folks from past generation do not understand the difference in the fares, taxes. For them, if they travel once in BC, they must travel by same class everytime. If you ever have to travel with MIL in future, do take her in EC and see how it goes.
     
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  9. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    Bigger problem is not that your mil travel in BC and you in economy but bigger problem is that company paying for business class ticket for you too and still your husband buys economy for you while he himself travels in BC...
     
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  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    @monita ...Why and how do your sisters find appreciation for your husband treating you like this?
     

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