Match Confessed That He Had Sex With Foreigner 3mons Back

sugarnspice · Jun 1, 2016

Nolife, you need to introspect very carefully. This is your life you are discussing. Don't make any rash decisions. Think and see clearly. Is this man capable of doing this more than once. It is possible to get carried away once, especially because sometimes people who are in a conservative family tend to get carried away in a foreign atmosphere. It is not normal for men in India to spend time in spas with women, so when in a foreign place, they tend to lose control. Nobody is watching what they are doing, not parents or family. Also bragging rights when you get back to your friends in India. Anyway, think about it and remember it may be difficult to live with your parents, but, they too are getting reactions from others in the community, friends, family about getting their daughter married. Ultimately, if you need them they will be there for you. It is at such times that you realize the value of parents.

ksrishan · Jun 1, 2016

Thats why its better not to disclose such things between spouses and move on with the life. At the same time accept the person as a whole when getting married. In the name of being loyal, we disclose and meddle with our inner peace.
Nolife, since this has come out, I would only suggest you to back off from this proposal. At any point in time of your marriage, if he goes out on a company trip, your mind will start bothering you. There will be no inner peace in the marriage which might be worse than the situation what you are in now.

livingitup · Jun 1, 2016

I agree completely to what YellowMango & SGBV have to say..

Laks09 · Jun 1, 2016

OP - Only you can choose the path you would like to take. I do have reservations about anybody who can jump in bed with someone when given the opportunity. I do not agree that every man raised conservatively will choose to do so nor do I agree that it's an opportunity that could not be given a miss.

Casual sex and promiscuity are not in the same cadre as people getting physically involved after getting to know each other over a period of time and bonding. Those are two different situations. I hope you decide keeping this in mind.

If he hadn't been upfront, you would not have known but now you do know. Since you know, you should make a decision based on all the information you have handy.

In matters like this, what one person maybe ok with differs from another.

The question you should be asking yourself is "Are you ok living with someone who has in the past .........(fill the blanks with whatever good/bad/ugly) he has said to you.

It's also a good idea to mentally come up with what you absolutely cannot put up with, so when scenarios arise you can get back to that list. That's more vital than what you want, according to my very limited knowledge in such matters.

It's an arranged marriage situation. You are anyway not emotionally vested in this man. Your reasons for wanting to stick to this guy maybe varied but since you don't have the emotional connect, make a rational and well informed decision.

nandita24 · Jun 2, 2016

I think he's a good guy who felt the need to be honest. He could very well have kept it a lifelong secret and it would have made little or no difference to your life at all.
Actually you must take a look at the brighter side - he has had some experience in bed! He won't be fumbling much on the first night, hopefully. Instead, the best thing now would be to ask him about his experience.

Mangojuice100 · Jun 2, 2016

Do not proceed if the only reason you want to proceed is his cushy job and ur fall out with ur parents. A fling in my conservative opinion is not acceptable - however if it were a relationship he had with her which led them to have sex while both of them were not in any other relationship is ok - but in that case you need to find out why the woman wanted him out.

nolife · Jun 2, 2016

@Mangojuice100 I feel the same i would have been ok if it was relationship failure but has slipped in to women's arms ..Since I am from conservative family I do not expect the same with others..

@Laks09 I agree that I should not feel for him ..I actually met this guy long back and really liked him and because he did not get papers we did not connect much as I told him to talk to me post divorce. Now again we could talk to each other.

I am not looking for some one who earns too much but I am looking for some one with decent earning which is lacking in all the matches I got.

Here guy is ambitious and grown up the ladder very young age and he has the zeal to grow up in life. Many guys I met were wanting to extract money from me or want me to work whole life. He seemed little ok if i work or do not work.
I am thinking to take these inputs and talk further and see how it goes.

anika987 · Jun 2, 2016

If i were you,i will be very upset but will not marry him.despite him telling the truth,the sad fact remains is once a cheater NOT ALWAYS but will NOT FEAR cheating once again for relief if there is any trouble or marriage becomes very sedentary after a while.you have had a taste of something..first time guilty,next time its a charm.

However,you said he is a divorcee and he is also human..not saying what he did is right BUT
if you are sure you can trust him and not doubt him for eternity then go ahead with this marriage.else let it go.

nolife · Jun 4, 2016

Thank you @anika987 .. I am dropping this match as asked me to have sex with him without seeing me.

yellowmango · Jun 4, 2016

nolife said: ↑

Thank you @anika987 .. I am dropping this match as asked me to have sex with him without seeing me.
Click to expand...

Wow!......
Just like that?????