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Toddler Crying With Strangers

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by brindhaaa, May 6, 2016.

  1. brindhaaa

    brindhaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    My son who is 2 years old now , has stranger anxiety since he was a year old, he is better now but still not comfortable with some of our relatives ..he cries in high pitch whenever he sees them... on top of it whenever we go to someone home ,he starts crying in high pitch .. For the past one year i try to restrict myself going out to relative /friends house or any public functions because of embrasssment .My elder son was like that , but not to this extent ...

    I consoled myself that this phase shall pass , but the recent function i attended made me write this post .. All the relatives labelled him as "crying boy" and started asking me why he is like this .. On top of it they started comparing with my BIL daughter who is 1.5 year old elder than him.. She adjusted very well in the function inspite of odd hours of sleep and food .. I felt very embrassed , frustrated and dont know what to do , cut short the function and came home ...

    How long do i have to suffer this .. Iam thinking twice before i take him out , whether he will cry, make fusss .. Infact we live in a big joint family ,still not comfortable in stranger place .. What to do .. How long i will avoid going to people house /function.. Already all my relatives are asking why you are not coming home /functions etc .. feeling very bad ....
     
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  2. athira91

    athira91 New IL'ite

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    I am no expert in parenting. I do have a son about 22 month old. He used to cry when we go to relatives places, mall, a new grocery store. Not going to these places isn't going g to make things better. Take him out everyday. Let him meet strangers on a daily basis. Ask him to wave at people. It's going to be hard for first few days. But it will only get better. When visiting the relatives place, don't panic. If he cries let him. Meantime offer his favourite things like chocolate, chips. Let him feel safe and comfortable. Do not force him to socialise right away. Spend more time there. Let him know that these are familiar people for mommy and daddy.
    These are the things I tried and worked.
    Still when we go to a particular relative's place he cries uncontrollably. He stop the tantrums the minute we leave the premises. But he don't have any problem when they visit our place. So that's that. Kids do these things all the time. All you have to do is stay calm and supportive of your child.
     
  3. brindhaaa

    brindhaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks athira for taking time to reply my post ... He is perfectly fine in mall,shops and other public places , only if we go to someones house its a problem .. anyway as you said , instead of restricting myself , will take him and try to make him comfortable in a slow pace .. Thanks once again .
     
  4. Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

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    Try taking your son to park every day. For a few days he can interact only with kids there but slowly you can make him interact with adults present there also. Similarly you can invite friends/relatives to your house and introduce him to them so that he has exposure to more people.
     
  5. brindhaaa

    brindhaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Cool 10 wil do that ....
     
  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    He is a little one. Kids are different from one another and come with different temperenents. Please don't blame him or yourself. As a mum, your job is to soothe him.

    For this, tell people clearly that he will play with them if they are a safe distance away; let them know coming too close too soon upsets him; ensure you take a favourite blanket + toys and set it up in a corner where he can play and sit with him. Let him not be forced to meet and greet people until he is ready and he will come out of his she'll.

    I get really cross with adults who pass judgements on kids. Please font be apologetic. Be firm and state that your child just takes time to warm to others. He is cautious. That's all. Don't feel bad about asking the adults to back off and take the pressure off him.

    A schedule always helps kids and it's great if he has his schedule for eating and sleeping. Please don't compare him and when some insensitive git compares your angel with amother child, dismiss it with "all kids are different".

    Also keeping him home won't help. Take him out regularly. Before you leave, make eye contact and explain where you are going and who he will see there. Tell him about the goody bag you are taking for him. Even if he doesn't immediately understand he eventually will.

    Don't be anxious - he can sense it and that will upset him more. Look at it like this - you are takin your child out and you are going to ensure he feels comfortable and safe. Forget everything else. He won't be 2 for too long!
     
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  7. LuvLadoo35

    LuvLadoo35 Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Dear,

    Hang in there ...I have been there with my almost 4 year old .
    Things that worked or rather helped him open up was:
    Exposure to People /kids as much as possible . I made it a point to have a play date atleast 3 times a week regardless of his behavior. I guess by constantly meeting the same friends he developed a comfort zone with that kid and then eventually over period of few months he is finally now ready to socialize. I also think that once they cross 3 years they realize what friendship is ..
    One more imp thing is to explain them in advance what and whom are we meeting that helps .
    Also important to constantly talk about the play dates and those people over and over ..
    At 2 he might not respond but he sure is listening to all what you say and following it to a great extend..
    Hope this helps you.

    Good luck and hugs to you
     

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