Is this love ?

Fondly stalking me? Likey
Nevetheless, being lovey dovey doesnt equal weak character or irresponsible

 

if I may add there may be some Mango+Jackfruit combos I recently learnt that you can make a mango+jackfruit pickle..now that would be yummy! yumsmiley

OP - sorry for the distraction:hide:

 

I understand your feelings. You are demonstrative and wish your husband were more expressive as well even if it was not 100% natural for him. After that that is what love is- going that extra mile for the person you love. So I am not going to tell you to look at others who have bigger problems or tell you to put up with it because that is what happens to all couple after a few years.

Your feelings are very valid and your husband should make some efforts to pleases you if he loves you. Similarly to some extend you should make concession that he has a different personality than yours. Love is about lots of give and some take. I would however, advice you not to look at other's lives and compare to yours least of all from Facebook or such sites. People are always trying hard to portray an alternate reality and I were you, I would not put much stock to that.

In my relationship, I was the lesser demonstrative one but what started as something make my husband happy turned out to very enjoyable to me too. I have been with my husband for 8 years (5 married) so not exactly a newly wed. I think being demonstrative with those we love (not just spouse) deepens those bonds. I mean think about it- when you child runs and hugs you, the happiness you feel is the most wonderful feeling. That feeling is not just felt for our child but from everyone we love.

I will not discount your feelings because they are important. But instead of demanding that your husband behaves as you like, trying being the change you seek. Being demonstrative is natural outcome of intimacy. One does not have to be demonstrative all the time or in front of others but you should be demonstrative- and regardless of the number of years of marriage. The secret of a truly happy marriage is making your spouse feel loved and cherished- the definition of "loved and cherished" can mean different thing for different people but that feeling of being loved is important. Someone said her husband will bring her half of a piece of chocolate that he likes because he know she will enjoy it - now that is love, filling her car during weekend so that she has one less thing to worry about is love. There are different ways to express love but what is strange is telling someone their concerns are silly or they should a feel a certain way after X number of years of marriage. The love that you feel before marriage and after is way different. It only gets better with time.

 

Please read all posts here OP or at least some of them, and then you will realize most of us have the same complaints. Our filmmakers have really glorified marriage and the ideal marriage to such high levels we don't know the reality. The truth is marriage is hard work. And looks like girls are meant for hard work (to be on the positive side) frankly speaking some sadism and masochism. The super lucky ones are those who get to reign like queens. But let me tell you, you would not want to be like such women, manipulative and cunning. Don't get sad about it. Carry on as usual. If you read posts on cheating you will feel better, that's all I can say. Just take it in your stride and smile. Don't expect, lesser expectations will keep you happier. Improve self no matter what. After so many years people get tired, but it will be just a phase, so try to reinvent yourself and keep moving. We don't know what else is in store for us once we become very old. So it is better to be prepared then assume.