I'm Marrying an Iyer Boy and I Have Loads of Questions! (Apologies in advance!)

There are some practical issues with old customs and practises which will be difficult and embarrassing for everyone. I have a 27 years old son still pursuing his studies. When he is ready to marry, I am sure he was not going to let anyone wash his feet nor he was going to bent down in public to put rings into his wife's toes.

Any woman who gets married to my son will enjoy the same rights and privileges my son enjoys with us now. I know my son understands that he had to treat his PILs the same way he treats us. I have already demonstrated and continue to demonstrate this principle by practising it myself. I will not allow the girl's parents to bear all the cost of the wedding. Wedding cost will be shared equally by us and the girl's parents. I have said this before and I stick to it.

Rituals that are meaningful without disrespecting anyone young or old are welcome. My son and whoever he gets married to are the two people who determine their compatibility, who would be invited to their wedding and how, when and where the wedding would be conducted.

Viswa

 

i am atheist ,married to another atheist.we both are brahmin by birth.I was open about i being not religious and i was accepted by his family.But after marriage somehow they expect us to do religious thing ,tradition etc.It has been continuous battle to hold borders.

 

Thanks Rihana.. what a beautiful meaning the vows have?!! I relived my wedding day, reading every word of it...

 

The feet of the future Son in law are washed. Not that of his father or any of his elders.

 

Why the future DIL is not part of this ceremony ? Can we change the custom to make the MIL wash the future DIL's feet?

 

Why don't you start it , have your
mother wash the feet of your wife or would be wife .

 

I know this is an old thread, but your post reminded me of something that happened in my marriage. My DH knows of my rebellious nature which was also one of the many reasons he fell for me We belong to different communities and I remember warning him if ever his side relatives asked me to fall on his feet on the D day, it would become a day he would never forget for a completely different reason.

Anyway, the D day arrives, and I sit there completely oblivious of the statement I had made early to my then fiance. Just before the tying of knot, the priest turns to my husband and says 'Wash your parent's feet'. This tradition is not there in our community and I watch with amusement as my DH washes his parent's feet. Then the priest asks my DH to wash my parents feet also. I distinctly hear a sigh from him and he begins to wash their feet. After the ritual is done and he ties the knot, while we come around the holy fire, I ask him what the sigh was all about. :rant

He replies 'Oh, I was so worried you would go mad if I washed only my parents feet' :rotfl

I fell in love with him for the nth time. How could I resist such a guy :kiss

 

The statement is addressed to people who know that what they are doing is stupid and still follow it blindly not for people who give **** about traditions that has no meaning or value.

 

Oh I see , now I understand your angst

 

Not going to happen as sons will take it as insult not as tradition.....unlike some daughters who glorifies the feet washing ceremony by their father....and call it divine, and punyam gaining for the father etc ...