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M for Maintenance

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, Jan 12, 2016.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    'Maintenance' charges. Oh, how I love that word! :-D

    'This is a very high maintenance item' generally implies we need to spend a lot to keep it in working condition and of course, we make it work with frequent expensive maintenance expenses. One might say it is almost a 'white elephant'.

    I have heard the term used frequently for cars. People of our category usually mean we use the car but it is expensive. The Vijay Mallyas of the world might mean something by the word 'maintenance' - keep it in a fancy garage and keep it in running condition. Run it? Only for vintage shows.

    The lift in our building is 'maintained' in more ways than one. It is battered beyond belief. However, the association keeps getting it repaired roughly once in a week. The residents refuse to pay to change the lift. They love 'maintaining' the same lift for days of Auld Lang Syne and status quo prevails - but this is the 'use it till it crashes' kind of maintenance. A status quo is also a kind of maintenance, isn't it?

    "Why is there no electricity?" I call up Central Complaints of Bescom.

    "Problem with incoming supply" is the stock reply.

    Next day "Why is there no electricity?" I call the Central Complaints office again. They love me. They know my phone number and address. I don't even have to remind them!

    "No rains" is the answer one has to read between all their tutored lies.

    Then the Gods get furious at their litany of lies and pour all the buckets of water in heaven and all other dimensions onto our planet. The lights dutifully go out.

    "What happened now? We just got a lot of rain."

    "Exactly, that is why we have no electricity" says the powerful supply company.

    A few days later, after the rains stop, lights go off again.

    "Now what happened?" I ask while I wait with bated breath to know what original answer I will get to hear.

    "Line maintenance madam". As it happens I hear this answer repeated far too often. The meaning of 'maintenance' in this case is slightly different - slightly akin to Vijay Mallya and his ilk. Keep maintaining - the lines as well as power cuts!

    "Lights have gone off. Transformer has burst" I call up the Central Complaints.

    "We'll inform your local substation, madam. We do not have any information yet" comes the melodious answer.

    "I'm informing you first hand. The ***** transformer has burst. I know every time one does - 50 years ka experience hai - despite all that 'maintenance'" I growl back.

    "Oh, you have maintained yourself so well" says someone. I shudder in my boots. What are that they trying to imply? The common man's 'maintainance' or the 'kept in the garage and worshipped' state of being? I'd rather be like our lift - well maintained and functional.

    P.S. Even as I have been writing this, the lift got stuck again and some kid was trapped in it - thanks to the lights going out but was brought out by 'mechanical' means.
     
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  2. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear satchi,

    I remember the problem I had with my Internet service provider when I didn't get internet for 3 consecutive days. The Customer care number was always busy and when connected would give a standard message "All our engineers are currently busy, please try later".Thank you for calling us. Have a good day!" May be I should have munched some good day biscuits venting out my anger, looking at the silly contraption called Computer" We have to laugh only at ourselves for those incompetent people called "Maintenance"!Had a hearty laugh reading your snippet!
     
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  3. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    @satchitananda,
    The word 'maintenance' figures very much in any talk of finances in the home. Especially having a home that has now become more than 25 years old - there is no end to it! We find ourselves spending almost all our income - that too - precious sums after retirement - towards maintenance. Inspite of this, it does feel vey nice when visiting relatives/guests point out how well the house has been maintained inspite of the passage of time. Added to it , our own satisfaction at having everything in working order. We definitely cannot do away with it.
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I
    :-DYou are my sister satchi....I have been told with rolled eyes"madam,how can we ever forget you...not eve if we tried".

    One day my husband told me..."you are nice,very low maintenance".I am yet to figure out if it was really a compliment.:coffee
     
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  5. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Satchi,
    Though hilarious to read you have written exactly true things that happen. In many complaint sections they do not even answer....only a recorded message comes and ask us to wait for our turn and plays music...endless the same tune. And moreover they say "Your call is very valuable to us!"
    Syamala
     
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  6. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchitananda,
    You maintain a sense of humour in all your snippets.
    The word 'maintenance' is associated with many fields.The elephant is a 'high maintenance 'animal.We can't maintain the car.It is easy to buy but difficult to maintain.
    Maintenance is the greatest problem in Flats where people of different temperaments reside, who do not maintain similar attitudes and many of whom do not maintain discipline.
    Not to talk of maintenance of gadgets. All of today's equipments are'use and throw type and it is highly difficult and costly to maintain.
    To maintain 'traffic discipline' in a city like Chennai is just impractical and no one bothers to maintain law and order.
    Maintenance is very often associated with marital disharmony, divorce and payment of maintenance for the spouse.
    A very important doubt arises in spelling the word'maintenance'While all the words like maintaining, maintainablility,maintaintainer etc have'tain',this word is spelt as maintenance only.English is an indisciplined language which does not maintain discipline as for as spelling is concerned.The noun form for 'contain'is either containment or continence In that way we may even spell the word as 'maintinence'
    We don't maintain any regard to such variations and simply proceed.After all the maintenance of dignity is more important ,than maintenance of skills for maintaining controversial debates.
    Let me stop here,since maintenance of electricity bills also matters.Maintenance of six hrs of sleep is a must,to keep medicines within 'maintenance dose' and for optimum health maintenance.

    Jayasala 42
     
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  7. Rith

    Rith IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear satchi mam,

    you are excellently 'maintaining' your humour in all your snippets.
    Well, i would like to go for a field trip to customer care office to observe what is the actual problem. i imagine, when we blast at them, in phone they pour the smily words and as soon as the call is cut, they would curse us like anything as we do :hide:.
    same answer for all problems. same response for all customers. Calling electricity board to enquire about power is another worst scenario
    At my grand ma's house, the water is so clear and transperant. we would throw stones and watch till it reaches the ground. sometimes inside water it takes time, we lose the patience and throw one more. Similar way, without having patience to hear the music and wait, i cut and called back. Literally i have waited for more than half an hour to check whether they come back or not.
    Another humourous snippet from you with a beautiful message on reality
     
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  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    I didn't kmow the word maintenance could be so scary except for those who are forced to pay maintenance to their ex-wives. Your post gives the impression that I shouldn't be surprised if someone makes a horror movie titled "Maintenance".The occupants of your building obviously believe old is gold and cherish the ancient lift. Poor power chaps . They are so powerless when it comes to maintenance.
     
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  9. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sats,

    your experience with BESCOM doesn't sound very encouraging to someone who is soon going to move into Blr.:) true I have often heard "you have maintained yourself well " always assumed they meant I haven't put on weight. now you have me wondering what and all interpretations could be there to that ;)
     
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  10. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Agatha, I owe you and all other readers here a big time apology for the delay in replying to all your feedbacks. Trying to call up the local branch of Bescom has been the most frustrating experience. They either don't pick up the phone, or talk back in Kannada and if you don't understand them, good for them! They put the phone down. However, Central Complaints handles complaints pretty competently - at least most of the time. So am grateful to be able to reach out to some representatives, so what if they don't have the answer all the time! Add to that, they do call up later to check out whether the power has been restored.
     

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