I am dieing inside

HI Arusree,
Dont take it seriously. Everyone has their own fantasy, which turns them on sexually. it doesnt matter, if you cant turn him on. Since you are recently married, you are sensitive to this thing and insecure about it. There are a lot more things about marriage, and this is not the only thing. if he is otherwise a good person and not abusive, its OK. Enjoy some activities together with him, like cooking , exercising, playing outdoor games, movie, etc and develop companionship with him, which is more important. I have been married for almost 7 years, and when I look back, intial years were very difficult in terms of adjustments and sex was one of the factors. But it became muc better after a a baby, and we developed a stronger family like bond after that. Dont worry, its just a passing phase.

Also, do make efforts to look appealing, like dress up to your best, make sure you smell nice, try a new haircut, take care of your skin and hair, which would really appeal to your husband.

 

op that was very rude for him to say that.your anger is justified.He could have suggest you what you could do to turn him on.

 

if he has already said it once.. there was actually no need to say the same thing again after a considerable period of time..that was rude..

did you ask him what he thinks is the solution ?? I hate to hear people who only place the problem statement on the table without even trying a hand at finding solutions..serves no good to anybody..

honestly I would not even react the way you are reacting... what he made is a fact statement and I would take it at its face value and let it be....my principle is simple... why worry about something you have not control over?? waste of time and energy

just make some popcorn and join him for the p*** show...

stay bindaas girl...good luck

 

having said that do try to find out if you can do / change anything to help it. Unless he expects you to do complex gymnastics .. you can give it a shot I suppose

 

Dear OP,
While it may be a bit rude for your husband to say it, I think it is appreciable that at least he is honest with you.

Probably he should have been more 'discreet' or tactful in the manner of saying it as we ladies, esp. wives or should I say newly-wedded wives, would like to be pampered and sweet talked (more often than not! - it is not anything bad, just the way we dream and romanticize about husbands when at a younger age or before marriage). So it comes more as a shock that our own hubby says something like that I guess.

I would advise you not to read too much into it or even feel too down about it. Rather you should take this opportunity to tell yourself to buck up and try to make yourself feel better by dressing up, looking good so that you FEEL GOOD about yourself.
Visit the beauty parlour, or DIY some simple beauty treatments for your self.
Buy a couple of new dresses, maybe something different than what you already own, get a haircut, etc. etc. - you get the point, I believe.

That will increase your confidence level and act like a DH magnet by default.

I agree with the previous posts and say, go along and enjoy the p*** together with him. It will make things work better for you both

All the best,
h

 

OP....what your husband said is not wrong,how he said it is wrong.
He is a tactless ,rude fool.
He is antagonizing the one person with whom he is going to have sex for the rest of his life.Way to go smart man!:roll:


Next time he says something tactless like this....put the end of your pallu/duppatta /finger/whatever in your mouth and give him a coy smile.....then say"you are so right.I too need to see some strong ,muscular ,sweaty hot guys to start a spark in my loins"....then sigh.

 

He spoke the truth, and has been very honest with you. But like many people mentioned, this man wasn't good at using tacts and winning a women's heart by this. Rather a very blunt and rude fellow.

He has been used to **** movies, which naturally makes his body get aroused to porns and **** figures rather than actual women in his life. This is the side effect of too much ****, I guess.

So, naturally he won't get aroused at you - a normal girl, unless you act like a **** start.

You can't changed to a **** start, but he can work this issue by watching a **** before being intimate with you. Or both can watch it together as well.

Don't be so emotional. Don't take the blame. It is not your fault, but his.
His addiction to **** makes him unnaturally get numbed to normal woman like you.
Ask him to work out his issue in whatever the possible way. You just relax and enjoy your TTC.

As long as this man loves you, that is what important.

PS: For men sex and love are completely different subjects.