urgent help needed

Dear op,

Discuss with your kids before you decide to give him one more chance make sure so that they are okay with the idea.Its more important as they wont be able to trust you too if there is going to be anymore of the issues.Tell the kids clearly if he is not going to keep his side of the deal ,you would call the 911.Like @Laks09 says better to consult a lawyer.

Control freaks go soft if thier rough behavior not tolerated and the persons under thier control set to free themselves(thats thier worst nightmare).Press for a proper counselling for his controlling nature using this opportunity and create records for the same for your future safety.Just because he says you dont have to give up the exercise of preparing establishing separate (you anyway dont wanted to spend your old age with him).Iam doubtful how long he would refrain from from his controlling attitude .......may be for a week or a month..... till he thinks you lost the temperory guts to go separate.How he was able to change his version of he just requested the kids to study and you are the reason for the kids telling lies to now agreeing to go for anger management?

Inform your relatives of your side about the above incident for you and your kids future safety.Keep the ground prepared for you .If he knows that your people know about his behavior he would be more careful to physically harm you and kids.He thinks he could do whatever he could with you and thats what is extenting to your kids.Dont try to safe guard your dhs reputation more than your kids safety.More than us you know your dh and how long his resolve would last.I am not still comfortable with your dhs comment that he would kill and bury son ................take precautions to make him behave.

Prayers to the kids.

 

OP people who are abusive or who have these kinds of anger issues rarely change on their own even if they promise to do so. It takes a lot of counseling, recognizing that they are wrong and a continued willingness to work on their issues. They usually go through a cycle of emotions, after the outburst the person may become apologetic and there will be a "honeymoon period" and a period of calm before things start up again and go bad. Please read up on cycle of abuse. I say this just so you are prepared and not lulled into a false sense of security if things are going well for sometime. It's still a good idea to meet with a lawyer and be prepared with your options just in case. Since he agreed to work on his issues, find a counsellor immediately (preferably a LMFT who also specializes in anger management and healing in domestic violence issues),set an appointment and tell your husband to come along. His willingness to go to counseling will tell you if he meant what he said. All the best to your family!

 

I am replying because this post was so shocking. You need to call 911. Your husband is lying, your children are telling the truth. Your situation is beyond crazy. Your husband is a person who is capable of killing all three of you. You are the only person who can save yourself and the children. A VERBAL THREAT TO 911 MAY ANGER AND PROVOKE HIM INTO AN UNCONTROLLED SITUATION. Please be very careful. If you feel you need to call 911, then call 911. Instruct your children too. to call 911 in case you are seriously wounded. I would call 911 if I were you. Your husband belongs in jail.

Your children needed medical attention. I hope they were taken to ER. The medical record needs to be started because in future, at court, your husband is going to lie again and say it never happened. You need the documentation of 911 and the medical records. Contact the domestic violence agency in your area for advice on what to do. There may even be groups
for Indians in your area. Do not hesitate to leave the house and go to shelter or some other safe place if you feel the need to escape.