1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Issue in marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by bahv, Aug 11, 2015.

  1. Aria

    Aria New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,752
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    You mean to say Arias from Mars? :biggrin2:
    Surely they don't exist on Earth to keep a tab on terrestrial happenings.
    They watch broadcast of Google Earth from Olympus Mons and occasionally wonder "hmm"
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,139
    Likes Received:
    3,938
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    @sokanasanah,

    What happened to you? Why so much angst and hand wringing for the OP this case? You are reading far more into this case than is really there to be calling it 'being unilaterally fired' and what not.

    Let us be clear. Do women get 'fired' from marriages early on and for no fault?

    Yes. In many situations: for dowry, property, or some other reasons yes there are women who are summarily sent home and told to return only with the moolah or whatever demand. And served with a divorce notice for failure to pony up.

    But that is simply not true in this particular case.

    And as to her family simply laughing off OP's accusaions? Really? I mean, really? You seriously expect that OP can make such a filthy, disgusting accusation with absolutely no basis, and they should just laugh it off and chide her gently for it?

    Look our Indian society is structured in a particular way. Incest, oedipus complex type of shenanigans are simply not acceptable. I dint make these rules, but this is how our society is. We have to accept it. Accusing your h of having a sexual relationship with his own sister is right up there with calling your MIL a prostitute or your h illegitimate. I mean, one simply does not go there right off the bat. And yes, this particular accusation here is especially repugnant, strongly repugnant, because there is a preexisting close, platonic, affectionate relationship between the 2 siblings in question.

    How many women post here complaining that their SILs get favored treatment or that their h's ignore them completely when SIL is present? Hundreds. How many have responded to that situation like OP did? None.

    Suppose for the sake of argument, OP had instead accused her h of having an affair with a co worker. There is still room for discussion, explanation or benefit of doubt in that case. It could be put down to OP's imaginings for instance. Esp if the interactions took place in the office where OP is not present a case could be made that she put 2 and 2 together and made 5 of it. The family could have tried to explain and salvage the situation. But that is not the case here. All the interactions took place in OP's presence. When she objected to the wedding sari scene (which btw happens in each and every Indian wedding I have attended -- the grooms party gets one room, the bride's party gets the other one, all luggage everything is kept in that one place, and yes you do have ppl, men and women going in and out and ppl assisting the aunties or girls with pinning their heavy kanchivaram sari pleats or pallus --its extremely common) it was explained to her by all present that she is over reacting. But no she would not listen. This is not a maligned put upon person. This is a person who has taken an idea into her head and is fixed upon it, stubbornly refusing to listen to any one's explanation. Even 7 months later after receiving the divorce notice she is arguing about it. So yes I dont understand your last few posts.
     
    4 people like this.
  3. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,139
    Likes Received:
    3,938
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    BTW, @sokanasanah I am not calling you out though my previous post may look like that. You have the right to your own opinions, of course, as do I. This is merely a discussion of some points you brought up and I hope you take it in that spirit.
     
  4. Aria

    Aria New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,752
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Is that not a loaded response?
    The first part is relevant to my post



    Where did below come from? I had to read my post not once but twice to check if I referred anywhere to the circumstances under which a divorce is taken or even to OP's original problem.


    I responded only to your intensifier in that sentence shearing away any contextualized provenance (deliberately) not to interleave with your other interactions. Not sure of that dangler posted reactively to me. The only snipped construct I pegged:

    On the other hand, divorce is perceived as (is?) severely debilitating for a woman

    Is that 'loaded argument' not an informal fallacy in Reasoning 101: The Basics?
    Haven't people published papers on this specious reasoning that influenced jury in State Vs Stateless lawsuit?
     
  5. sun01

    sun01 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    36
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    @1Sandhya, you will get counter from him for your each and every word from your post. He tries to prove whatever he says correct and normal.
     
  6. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,915
    Likes Received:
    7,188
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    No u didn't. :0)
    There were lot of assumptions /presumptions in that post.....the tone was one of judgment ... inlaws and hubby deemed guilty of harassing a poor young DIL .
    Which is ok too ..just don't do it while saying "I am not entirely confident of the OP's writing here or in her text.."
    Confidence only in parts of OP we want to believe?
     
  7. Aria

    Aria New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,752
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    @justanothergirl added :0)
    I forgot :0)

    You can reply to my trivial and non-contributing quibbles later @sokanasanah, I can wait if you have other burning posts to respond.

    (aap katar main hai, krupaya hold kijiye)
    (filing my nails)
    (checking my teeth)


     
    1 person likes this.
  8. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,959
    Likes Received:
    6,857
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Male
    Time to withdraw.
    When such notions are in play, no response is possible.
     
  9. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,959
    Likes Received:
    6,857
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Male
    I take it as axiomatic that formulating, explicating, refining and defending a position is the essence of argument, which is what I have tried to do here and elsewhere. I also understand that sometimes posts say as much about the writer, as about the subject. So, no I am not worried about you 'calling me out'. I can take you on!
     
    2 people like this.
  10. Aria

    Aria New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,752
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female

    Out of curiosity soka, why is it diffcult for you not to laugh at this immature comment and carry on posting. Why withdraw? Last time you disappeared for a year over another silly argument. Please don't take it wrong but why is it difficult for you not to ignore any wayward remark and implement what you propose?


    You could have smirked


    "ever heard of OCD!"
    "aah! trying to drag people towards light"



    Let's say we are conducting an experimenting on you to corner you (hypothetically) and verify if you abide by what you propose..

    Did you pass or fail?
     
    2 people like this.

Share This Page