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After Death Rituals

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by jayasala42, Apr 26, 2014.

  1. manthrabalam

    manthrabalam New IL'ite

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    Hema here staying in Chennai with my husband and father aged 92. My mother aged 82 passed away on 29th july. She was cremated on 30th morning at 10 after my only brother arrived at 3.00 am early the next day I . e ., 30th, from Dubai.

    Now he has gone back after performing 9-12 th day and Subam on 13th day . He left that night i.e., 10 th august. Now my worry is how will he perform the monthly rites for a year? He cannot take leave and come as and when he wants. He holds a very responsible post there. Can someone suggest remedies please. WE 3 are at a loss
     
  2. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    As long as we are in the grip of superstitious traditions, these vultures will continue to bleed us white. When my mother died, we cremated her in an electric crematorium without rituals.depriving these conmen of a huge income.. If everybody frees themselves from the chains of tradition, our priests would probably become beggars.
     
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  3. suryakala

    suryakala IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Smt @jayasala42,

    What a great article you have written on the rituals after death! Thanks to dear @manthrabalam who has refreshed this snippet.

    You have done your research and given an eye opening facts for the society. Simplicity should be the mantra for life, death and life after death. While we are familiar with our 'Atma' during our lives, we have to depend on wisdom of 'Rishi's' and Upanishad on he journey of Atma, after lives.

    Even if it has a link with mortal world and its relatives and relations, it is natural it can have only for a few days. But as you have rightly put it up, some hove found the way to commercially exploit this mystery.

    Remembering our 'Pithru' is surely a good and a must. But to cover it in elaborate and expensive'rituals' is avoidable. We can of course, bring smiles to the poor and deserving with that expense, in that day.

    Once again my hearty appreciation of your post and my apologies for the delayed reading and response.
     
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  4. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    @manthrabalam,
    In such circumstances, the monthly rites are clubbed together and can be performed for a six month period or even at the time of the first year shradam. You can get a clarification regarding this with the Vadhyar who performed the 13 days rituals. My brothers wife had passed away 2 years back and my nephew, being the only son and away working in the USA, did it this way.
     
  5. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Now there is no problem at all. This has happened in many cases. Hindu rituals have many exceptions. After a year when Prathama Shraddham is performed for 4 days, on the first day all maasikams for all the 12 months will be performed.

    Jayasala 42
     
  6. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Now there is no problem at all. This has happened in many cases. Hindu rituals have many exceptions. After a year when Prathama Shraddham is performed for 4 days, on the first day all maasikams for all the 12 months will be performed.

    Jayasala 42
     
  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    When we are discussing about 'After death 'rituals, I am reminded of a distinct instance that happened in 1994.
    This is just to show how even educated research scholars have some belief which is very strange.It is not about 'after death' ritual but about a death ritual that may happen after 50 or 60 years.
    The real incident happened like this.
    The head of the family was a post graduate research scholar ( Ph.D. from a reputed university in US) settled in Bombay.
    He along with his wife and two sons aged 10 and 7 were proceeding to Shirdi by bus to have Baba dharshan.

    The lady was keeping her right hand on the window rods and fell asleep.A speeding vehicle carrying some sharp instruments coming in the opposite direction dashed against her protruding shoulders and her right arm cut upto the shoulders fell down on the road, ,severed from her shoulder joint.The bus could stop after a few meters.The hand was taken out from the road, rolled in a towel and she was immediately taken
    to a famous hospital in Bombay well in time.Though time was not a constraint, as several bones in the hand were broken during the fall from a speedying vehicle,there was no way to fix the arm. It had to be amputated.
    The story does not relate to amputation.
    The elders in the family including the research scholar husband had deep faith in rituals.
    They believe that the entire body, as we are born, should be given back to God when one dies.Other wise great calamities would befall the family and children.
    This lady in thirties also would die one day after 50 0r 60 years and when she would be cremated she won't have to be cremated- not full but dearth of right hand.
    Just to save the family from the sin that may accrue after 60 years they acted precautiously. As advised by some old lady and some pundits they took the cut off hand to the cremation ghat in Bombay, cremated the same reciting so many mantras and performed all the rituals to the dying hand , even while the lady was yet suffering from deep pain and anguish in the hospital.When she dies after 60 years second cremation will be performed.
    It is entirely a different issue that she recovered,fixing of artificial hand was impossible as there was no sufficient shoulder space to fix the arm.Within just one year she was able to do everything with her left hand.I know how she suffered even to change the napkin during her periods or comb her hair.Now it is total boy cut, a neatly cropped hairwith a dress suited to single handed.

    I don't know how even the highly educated that too science scholars fall a victim to such beliefs and are simply overpowered by superstitions.
    We cannot change anyone unless they themselves want to change.

    Jayasala 42
     
  8. achu1

    achu1 Silver IL'ite

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    Everything is now a form of business.
     
  9. gitasharma

    gitasharma Gold IL'ite

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    dear Jaya
    I agree with you that it is more important to do what you need to and wish to when the dear one is alive.
    we (both my brother and me )were too young to put are foot down when my parents passed away and we went through all the said rituals . infact we had an older sister who died unmarried and as part of the rituals she had to be married off to a banyan tree before the final formalities performed.my dad had to do this All this is very traumatic.
    true today death is as expensive or even more than a marriage ..
    We do anna danam to the poor.though we do the shradham also as you rightly put for fear of unknown, fear of being ostracized.
    we have no children
    so we have willed our eyes for organ transplant, body to medical research.
    and made a trust that does feeding on our birthday as we do not know the day of death.
    as the body would be taken by medical college there is no question of any dahana samskara /or as to who will perform it.
    whether there is a condolence meeting may be family will have one .
    It is when we read such atrocities we feel ashamed of what the brahmins have been doing.mourning should be a private affair, and all such rituals should be done away with.
    Sincerely hope more people come forward to donate their organs and bodies.
    there is a dearth of material for medical research.irrespective of how one has led their life atleast in death they could leave for common good and make a difference.
    hope this does not get abused business like all else .
    gita
     
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  10. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Gita Sharma,
    Thanks for your response. I also wish that many people should come forward for body donation .It is a great thing that you have willed your eyes for organ transplant and body for medical research.

    Madam, can you please enlighten regarding the procedure for donating body to medical research.
    Our neighbour, a senior nursing tutor wanted to donate. But the Dean of Medical college insisted on the application being signed by the legal heirs( son/daughter,spouse).Since she was deserted by her husband long back and no issues also, her wish could not be fulfilled.

    Is there any specific application form? Is it legally whetted?If after signing the appln form can the legal heirs go back on commitmemt for fear of public talk/
    Actually the Dean of GH Chennai told me that many relatives make a hue and cry when the body is being taken by the hospital authorities.That is why they hesitate to accept such cases to avoid problems.
    My close relative in 80s with children abroad wants to donate the body for medical research. Can you kindly furnish the details to the forum?

    Whether it is mandatory that the request is being countersigned by the legal heirs/spouse/or the person likely to be near at the time of death?Suppose the children arrive after say, 48hrs from abroad, will the hospital authorities wait to enable to children to have the last glimpse of their parents/ or do they advise any embalming to protect the body from decay for 48 hrs?
    I shall be glad to have your response at your leisure.

    Thanks and regards,

    Jayasala 42
     

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