The Hobson's Choice!

Dear sw
You are as amazing as Jerome K Jerome! A classic hypochondriac friend of mine tells me that it is far more difficult to survive imaginary ailments than real ones. For the real ones, there are specific lines of treatment that attack the very core of the problem but in the case of imaginary ailments, the only eventuality is that the Doctor attending on us would become stark bald or start muttering to himself and laugh aimlessly! You are right that hypochondria can be endless source of fun both for us and the Doctors!
Sri

 

Dear Priya
When you are rendering such selfless service like diagnosing disease symptoms in others and possibly putting the fear of God in them, I fail to understand how you can become unpopular. In fact, you will have the blessings of all the Gods in abundance because your diagnosis would drive your victims to the various temples the coffers of which might already be bursting at the seams!
Keep up your good work is my sincere advice to you!
Sri

 

My dear buddy Kamla
I first came to realise that hypochondria could be an endless source of fun only after reading Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome. PGW once wrote that even stomach pain was fun if it affected an adversary! It all depends on how we look at it. Hypochondria has made me hysterical with laughter whenever I recalled specific cases. The best form of it could be seen in clubs where they normally discussed ailments arising out of overeating of fried food and over-drinking. As the discussion progressed, the faces of hypochondriacs would become ashen with terror. Their fingers would start feeling all those places in their torso which would come under the purview of discussion. They normally went back home that night with cirrhosis of liver, pancreatic malignancy and a host of other fatal diseases!

Doctors afflicted with hypochondria is an interesting phenomenon. It reminds me of a highly venerated God-man who passed away a couple of years back. People believed that he took upon himself all the diseases of his devotees so that they could lead a healthy life. I can't say whether this technique paid off in the case of hypochondriacs. Doctors interact with sick people day in and day out and they can be victims of sympathetic reaction.

The devas and devis up there look forward to receiving these prayers regarding the ailments of hypochondriacs. For them it is like a Joke forwarded. They share it among themselves and laugh out aloud, roll on the floor laughing and do such things as the case deserved! Don't worry about the real wolf and false wolf. We can handle real wolf ourselves. It is the false wolf that keeps terrorising us most of the time!
Sri

 

My dear, dear Kerman
If this can be one more reason to consolidate our friendship, I am too willing to browse more and carry more ailments. To be honest with you, I do not google for diseases these days but I do google for every medicine that is prescribed. Last week I was down with fever and was prescribed Dolo 650. I googled promptly for its side effects and was informed that Dolo 650 could induce:
Nausea, rashes, liver toxicity.
Leukopenia which is rare.
Acute renal tubular necrosis.
Very rare, blood dyscrasias.

I was not too keen to contract from tubular necrosis or blood dyscrasias and so did not take Dolo 650. Instead I applied icepack to my balding head! The sudden cooling of my head caused a cold and running nose. When I reached out for Vicks Vaporub, Google warned me about some serious side effects! I threw the bottle away as though it stung me! Despite all these, life goes on mercifully!
Sri

 

Dear sw
I saw you banging your head against the wall. Do you know that
One million Britons go to hospital a year after bangs on the head
Some suffer from post-concussion syndrome
Here, residual effects of traumatic brain injuries continue to plague the victim!
:bonkEven this can do all the harm.
Therefore please just stop with :bangcomp:
Sri

 

Dear Usha
So nice to have you reading my Rambling again! I am happy you enjoyed reading all that is going on here. I can easily relate to your distant elderly relative. She must be a classic hypochondriac. Only the classic hypochondriac gets all the dreadful symptoms at dead of night when every one is sleeping after a hard day's work. It happens in my case too. The moment the last light is switched off along with the TV, my discomfort starts. Since I know all the symptoms of all the diseases like the back of my hand, I walk over to my PC to start exploring if there is any treatment on a 'home remedy basis'. I have become rather an expert in non conventional treatment of what ails me.

Last week I had ectopic of the heart. Immediately I took a pomegranate injected with almond oil after keeping it in the microwave for a few minutes. It tasted awful but since I was helping my heart, I suffered the rotten smell and taste silently!

I should say that the second Doctor was very resourceful!
Sri