A very frustrated wife

Dont worry on the vent, I do it all the time.

Why is he being such a jerk?... how can a marriage be no strings attached?.. No help, no kids, no nothing. I wonder if seperation works and it would back fire. Well, for me it would be very difficult to live like this for tje rest of my life. You have to make a decission if you are willing to sign up for this. And the routine question" why didnt you have a clue on this bedore marriage?" And DONT make your life worthless by ending it. DO NOT.

 

Op...you seem very depressed. Have you tried getting help for it. Try it.After that try some marriage counseling.A neutral third person may be able to make him understand better.

 

Have you thought about separation .

 

i see you want to try, I wish you all the luck. Talk to him saying that it cannot go on like this. Ask him if he wants to work on it. Any positive signs, then give it some time or else you think for yourself if its all worth. But no you are not doing any harm to yourself for a person who would not give a damn. One last try, no harm.

 

Op...stop talking about giving up your life.You think your father's heart will not break like this?

Secondly...stop being needy for him. Work on your self esteem.
How did he manage his work before marriage?
If he won't help you....then you stop somethings you do for him. Make food one time only.If he objects...tell him you walk to work...if he is willing to drop you to work...you might have the time and energy to do more.
Just do as much as you can without breaking your back.

Do not plan a child with him till he gets his act together.Let his parents complain or let his fatherly instincts kick in....then tell him what he needs to do to be a worthy father.

What does he do with his money if he is not giving you any? Does he give you money to run the house? Start asking for more.....if he doesn't,then cut down on house expenditure...let him live on his own budget.If you are overworked...tell him to pay someone to come and help you out once in a while.

Don't be a good wife to a bad husband. It will just leave you frustrated ...he won't change because he won't see a need to change.

 

Kurinje,

First of all, its your life, do what makes you happy.. Am sure your parents would totally support you no matter what that is.. All they want is to see their daughter happy.
Never ever think of ending life, that is the worst that can happen to your parents and you..Please try talking to your parents, at least just your mom (if you think your dad will be upset), that would be very helpful for you.. It may seem hard, but try..

As for solutions to your problem, try to open up to your husband and tell him how you feel. If that doesn't work, give him a taste of his own medicine, find some friends, spend time with them and enjoy your time abroad..Don't forget to have your own bank account. If your in-laws have issues with your behavior, tell them you can't work for them and also earn money for yourself, since their son is not going to provide for you you have to earn for myself.

 

Since he is from a orthodox family i guess he wouldn't have seen the environment where mom and dad share chores.I guess you need to start treating him the same way he treats you.Since you are working, clearly allocate some chores for him to do like cleaning the vessels after you complete cooking,folding his own clothes,vaccuming the house etc and dont even do those things until he does.i guess behaving like a room mate rather than a wife will bring some sense in him.These things will definitely backfire and will cause lot of fights and arguments between you two,but put your feet down and stick to the rules.