Kanyadaan should stop??

please don't speak for all indians. my mom could not go to her maternal home for the second baby. though my grandma came over, my father did a lot of the stuff even doing the cloth binding for her to support the back and tummy.

it's kind of become infra-dig to acknowledge the good in traditional practices. if you are going to talk about the indian scenario, please give the whole picture. it's not just about "relaxing with the baby". grandma's and other ladies "shooed" the away because of the specialized care to be provided for baby and new mother. things like oil massages, special diet for mother, and so on.

 

hey bro, where have you been?!

 

I have similar memories. Waking up in the middle of the night waking up dh telling him that baby is bleeding to death. And my dh tellling that the little princess is not bleeding but done her first (massive) load of poop and diaper is leaking. And then he changed the diaper, cleaned the baby and bed. The happiness (after being like an elephant for months) to clean your house and go shopping groceries. The lazy mornings cuddling with baby and hubby, admiring every grimace the baby makes.

Pregnancy/delivery is not a sickness but normal life. Of course if there are health issues c-section etc) the situation is different.

When I got my first grandchild I wanted to be as much as possible at my daughters Place. But knew I have to leave them alone. Short visits and took plenty of pics. Then bothering all my friends showing those baby pics.

Especially the first baby is a big thing both for the father and the mother.

 

Hello mam!! ah, just got busy in real life!!how have you been?!

 

I second you all on your opinion on the after care of the new mother.

It is in my opinion the most bizzare of practices to send the pregnant wife to her mother's home for delivery, and worse remain there for 40 long days after the birth of her baby.

The poor father is left at the periphery and made to feel like a stranger!
Pregnancy and labour are the most intimate times for a couple to bond and strengthen their relationship.
This tradition robs them of the most beautiful, intimate and divine experience in their marriage.

Ofcourse the first few days are special to bond with the baby. Infact every single minute counts, and 40 days is way to looooooooooooong to keep the dads away from their babies.

I really wonder how these daddys must have coped during those times.It must be so saddening for them. Wouldn't they have missed sleeping next to their new born babies and their wives?

I also believe it is mandatory to have the husband in the labour room.

 

they were too busy working at their jobs to make a living for their families. no paternity leaves, you see.

you are not yet married and a mother, i guess? otherwise, sleep and newborns don't usually occur in the same sentence.

 

Not allowing husbands into hospital delivery rooms is more to do with hospital resources and logistics than anything else.You are lucky to get a private room in many places.

It is allowed in big hospitals where you pay huge sums and the hospital is equipped enough to follow good procedures to make sure the environment is safe. As you can guess, the traffic to delivery rooms and OT in those hospitals will be less compared to more affordable hospitals where woman may share a room with another or even stay in general ward with 10 others and there may be a single OT servicing all kinds of patients where care for patients takes precedence than offering such niceties to husbands.


You cannot compare infrastructure of US to india and I don't see any impact on indian dads because of this that reduces thier love when compared to foriegn dads.

If conditions improve and if it widely available , people will take the opportunity.

 

Yes I am still unmarried and not a mother still.

I agree, with new born babies it is difficult to sleep at night, with them constantly crying and the constant feeding, but then this is a sweet pain which creates fond memories later....................and I am sure the dad wants to be a part of this.

As far as paternity leave is concerned.......................common anybody could take a 2 days leave to be with their wives to support them through labour and delivery! It does not last for weeks.

 

this is so true. my friends are based in major cities, are economically sound. when i think of the points you made above, it also brings up the issue of privilege. does a rural father who has not "bonded" in what urban people deem is the only way to form a closeness with their child, love his kids any less? not really.

 

Wow! You are a grand mom! I didn't know that.

You must be of my mother's age or perhaps even a bit older.

Sorry if I have ever offended you on this thread or earlier threads. sorrysmiley