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what should i do!!!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by siababa, Aug 12, 2014.

  1. siababa

    siababa New IL'ite

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    My dear Il's

    My co sis is here for a vacation for her sister's marriage. They got settled abroad. She gives a courtesy calls to Our PIL from there apart from that they don't keep in touch (even through mails) with any other extended family members including us..... that's a different story.

    coming to the point, she delivered her second baby almost 1 year ago and he is right now 1 year & 6 months old. Since she is here for her sister's marriage & since none of the relatives visited her and baby at her place, she has decided to have a family get-together here....

    She has invited every family member personally via phone that includes my husband who is her BIL, but she has'nt called me personally. However she has sent me a formal mail from her side... I have any way decided to attend the party, but i just have that little disappointment from my side.... When she has invited everybody via phone, she could have done the same thing with me as well..... We are not too close with each other apart from the thing that we are the DIL of the same family.... She is the first DIL and within 3 months of her marriage, we (my hubby and me) got married, then within 3 months of my marriage they (BIL& her) left to US. She has not tried anything from her side to stay connected with me & same with me as well....

    Since she will be here only for another couple of weeks, i don't want to show off too much, but at the same time no one in the family is bothered that i was not called in the same manner like she did for others.... i'm worried where do i stand ????? kindly pour your suggestions..... I'm i feeling too much here....
     
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    She called your husband and mailed you.I think that is enough considering you are not close. Don't take it to heart.You both are not close...that is all.Just go and enjoy.
     
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  3. TheUnhappyWife

    TheUnhappyWife Silver IL'ite

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    I will advise you to give her the benefit of doubt this time and ignore the fact that she did not call you personally while she called others personally.
    Please overcome your ego for the sake of the little baby who is meeting his paternal aunt for the first time - rejoice in their happiness and soon they might rejoice in your happiness too.

    P.S. - Sorry if I missed something important as I got lost in your 'here' 'there'.....not sure which place you are talking about as you yourself seem to be settled abroad in Texas.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2014
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  4. sumanrathi

    sumanrathi IL Hall of Fame

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    don't keep this in to your mind. if you avoid this small issue will be reference for some other big issues.

    calibrate your mind that you are going for your husband and to see your relatives not for her and her invitation.

    be their with smiling face with your relatives and have fun. ignore her and be happy
     
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  5. siababa

    siababa New IL'ite

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    thanks yellowmango for your comments.... As i said earlier i will be attending the party for sure. I met the little chap when they arrived here ( chennai) much earlier. He is a definitely a darling with all smiling face.... It's just that when everyone other family member asked me whether i received a call, that's when i felt that something strange is happening..... little confused with her act!!!!!
     
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  6. siababa

    siababa New IL'ite

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    Sure the unhappy wife..... your words taken.... I do have a 4 year old girl and no matter what i want her to have good relationship with her cousin bro!!! I'm very much in chennai.... we were in texas only for few months and we came back and settled in chennai long time back!!!
     
  7. siababa

    siababa New IL'ite

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    Thank you sumanrathi for your kind words and suggestions..... Your comments/ suggestion definitely made me to look this situation in a different angle..... Thanks a bunch once again for such a positive suggestion....
     
  8. Shina

    Shina Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with ur decision of going. :goodidea:.Just reply to her mail that u would be coming. Be nice to her when u meet her and see how she reciprocates.If she is cold towards u, u keep away from her and enjoy with other guests and dont let it bother u.Her loss not yours. Have a nice time, and be happy.and after coming back home pat urself on the back for being the bigger person in the situation.:yes:
     
  9. aparnag

    aparnag Platinum IL'ite

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    All i can say is relax..
    You know you are not close to her.. so forget it..
    Also if she had invited you personally may be you should offer for some help or other things.. Now just be that formal guest whose hubby was invited.. Attend the party, meet the baby and walk back home with happiness..
     
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  10. rmuramka

    rmuramka Gold IL'ite

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    You don't believe...but that's exactly my story. My co sis is here....with her almost a year old son (he would turn 1 in another week). They directly landed in my in-law's plc. She stayed there for a good one month before coming to her mom's place to stay for few more days. Since the kid's first birthday is going to be on a working day..they planned a gathering for all 'her side' of the relatives..since most of them might not be able to make it for the birthday. She invited everyone...we were told my MIL that we might be called..and sure enough husband got a call. So she invited both of us in that call..did not talk to me..directly spoke only to Dh. We have a very very blank relation I can say. She never initiated or tried to get close..nor was I interested. Since she stays in the US...she probably felt..she need not get overly friendly with us or with anyone for that matter.
    She also came for a week...for her sis's wedding. Just for a week..leaving her then 6 months old kid with her husband. We did not even know she was coming. So she wants it that way...we keep it that way.

    I nevertheless attended the gathering..smiled at all the not so familiar faces of her uncles and aunts.
    A Formality..well handled!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2014
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