I want to reveal something about my life. I was molested by 3 ppl. I need support, ad

Re: I want to reveal something about my life. I was molested by 3 ppl. I need support

The thing that helps me is writing. I wanted to write Blog posts on IL, but was advised to post on Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)- IndusLadies

Because throughout the day you may have a certain thought and relate it to other observations, and you can write about it. Sometimes you get many responses, sometimes none.

Writing with help you and others on IL "delving into your life" as much as you are comfortable with to help you heal from the past

Pretty soon I will participate in a local Toastmasters ..... these topics should be on a positive note .... soon you will see that God has many wonderful people and new friends to be in your life --- that will help you to release the baggage of the past.

 

Re: I want to reveal something about my life. I was molested by 3 ppl. I need support

“When you go through a hard period,
When everything seems to oppose you,
... When you feel you cannot even bear one more minute,
NEVER GIVE UP!
Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”
― Rumi, The Essential Rumi
You have gone through a phase, it's time for a next greener and brighter one.you have something beautiful ahead to look onto, your daughter and her bringing up. Make sure you give your best and you will. Forget and forgive- if that's difficult now give time. Use the present precious time for yourself and your kid, you will never get this wonderful time. Your baby is growing, see it, love it and grow with it, because soon you will miss this phase.
You can't change anything from your past, but, I believe you can change your present.Even I have passed your phase with my narcissistic mother & I see it like this. There are many more mothers worst than ours. Believe me when I say that, you know many actresses who have been pushed into acting and what not by their own mothers. You are atleast better off. And coming to your guilt, you have realized it already, it's not your fault, so why blame yourself for it? Take time, do what you enjoy. Don't stress, it will have a bigger impact on your health later. Thinking so much about your past, you will destroy your future, because at this rate your health will take a toll. Love your present. Please start loving yourself, which you would have never done until now, since you would have no time thinking about your mom and your brothers.

 

Re: I want to reveal something about my life. I was molested by 3 ppl. I need support

Yes, forgive them, will that give you peace of mind then? You badly need to see a counsellor lady.

 

Re: I want to reveal something about my life. I was molested by 3 ppl. I need support

Honestly I have gone through bouts of depression and anger, and that is what created my current situation now, with an abusive, unfaithful husband who married only for greencard.

For the past week, sad, angry and depressive thoughts have come into my mind with full force, only difference is now when I catch myself feeling this I say outloud or under my breath (so no one can hear me)

"Listen devil, God is much bigger than you and he is doing wonderful things for me right now, and I am receiving them. You are threatened by this and that is why you are attacking me so hard with sad and angry thoughts, because you know God is always Victorious and we are his children and you are just a coward. Now get back under my feet where you belong."


I find myself doing this several times a day, and I eventually feel better.

There is always war between good and evil inside of us ...... Good always wins!!!!

Please try this exercise. Thoughts and words have creative power. It takes years, but believe me, they have creative power!

 

Re: I want to reveal something about my life. I was molested by 3 ppl. I need support

Hi Lalitha, it would have make you a bad daughter if you would have used the opportunity to take revenge on your abusers but you stayed out of it, been totally even-handedly, not towards good neither to bad side. This is the best a person can do when not feeling helping someone out. If there are burried feelings and secrets of hurt and betrayal between people it can even uncontious come in the way, you dont even need to recognise that you did something out of that reason but it CAN happen.. so its best to stay out and just wish for good for the other, thats it. Be happy you did this way, you neither showed disrespect or tried to hurt anyone which makes you a good person - actually a better person then the abuser - because it takes a lot of strength to not hit back on the abuser. On the other side i understood they are your brothers you wished yourself you could have helped and supportet. But it wasnt possible that time. So let it be and make it past. Their marriage is not your job btw. They are your brothers not your son.
i too read this you dont understand really that your parent didnt harm you as you are from conservative backround. Being conservative has no relation to intentionally harm someone in such a cruel way for some missbehavior even we are feeling hurt by it.
One more thing... you said you havent been attracted to your husband.. let me tell you this one.. its not really the most important thing to be highly attracted as long we are "fine" with the looks the other has, means we are not driven away from them or discusted etc. .. that would be really bad. But if its just not falling head over heels in love with the appearence of a man it doesnt matter as what really counts and what you get old with is the character.. i feel my self that if i like someone that person automatically gets more and more beautiful to me but if i think sometimes in the first moment that someone is a pritty person and then i get to know them better if they are bad in heart their outer beauty dissapears.. i dont know how it happens but its like that... So i hope that the beauty of your husband increased day by day and you feel now really happy if you look at him

I liked the tip to write here in snippets of life section, good suggestion i think. And i too agree that you might consider to talk to a counsellor. I dont mean at all that you have some sort of issue yourself!! Dont think that. All i mean to say is that it can help a lot to talk to someone frequently about this deep things because we usually dont reveal them in daily routine, and this person is professional and can give such great advices and is really aware of all sort of situations

Anywhays whatever you do, please try to stop feeling guilty its not worth it.

I too beliefe like ChennaiExpress in the power of thoughts you can try to use positive affirmations write your own set of them and keep on reading them to yourself, it sounds weird but it really helps

@ChennaiExpress: really like the prayer you speak to yourself

 

Re: I want to reveal something about my life. I was molested by 3 ppl. I need support

PLEASE pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaase Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase please stop asking this question!!!! Dont DO NOT EVER allow any other person to devine who or what you are!!!!!!!!! It is only you YOU and no one else who defines yourself and judges what or how you are!!! You are unhappy with an action of yours? Appologise and forgive yourself, walk on. You are unhappy with a habbit or anything else? Try to improve and change it to the positive and make yourself be happy with you but dont change yourself for others!

We here in IL can tell you constantly the next couple of days you are NOT a bad daughter or a bad person! But whats the use if you dont beliefe and feel it yourself???? At the end of the day its not important what we think but what YOU FEEL!!!!

So take care about your feelings like you groom yourself groom your heart and like you take care of a beautiful garden to not let an overgrown jungle like garden
become out of it take care of your soul... water it, let the sun shine on it and nourish it so it will grow into all its beauty...