Are girls in India STILL ready to marry a guy in the USA??

Another point most people forget in this H4 argument is that there is a third external entity that generally plays God in many people's life: the employing company of your husband. Not even the prospective groom is sure about how long he will be in US. Like most, he will be sent through the company, and will have very unsure period of stay in US. So he also tells the girl's side what they want to hear. "oh, if she does not like it there, we can come back anytime we want." One of our friend got married and brought his wife here. Within a year she got fed up with the loneliness and they went back to India. 3 months later the company sent him back, saying either go or resign. Even if he switched job, seeing his profile there was no chance any company would keep him in India. He was more useful a resource at client side :-(

I know it too well, because we too have been shuttled here and there through the company. I had applied for the colleges here and almost got admission when we were told to go back to India. There I got selected in a good reputed company, but had to come back here before I could join. Of course, it was my choice that I chose my marriage over career. I regret it everyday. I would still have been equally sad had I chosen to have career over marriage. At the end, the regret is never about what you chose, it is always about what you had to give up.

 

Earlier women used to dream about the prince charming in white horse. Everyone learns their own lesson, when they are ready and when they want. Let them enjoy the dreams while they last and pray for happiness.

 

Reshmirajan

"I had this American dream". When you had it, why didn't you work towards it? It is still possible. Am hoping you were given enough insight of H4 before you got married.
I'm sure your husband had his own share, of living the American dream, he worked hard and thus is able to live his American dream. Hard work Pays.

When your friends talk about wanting to be in the USA, let them know "Grass is always greener on the other side".

Regards Sreena

 

H4 is not the only way. Marry a citizen.

 

There are still few girls who are ready to come to USA just by marrying someone, as their parents wont allow them to go alone and study in USA. One of my DH's distant relative is getting married to a boy working in usa on H1 visa, as her parents not allowing to send her on F1(though she has written GRE/TOEFL, as her parents agreed in her B.tech). And she is adamant on just coming and living in usa, and hence this route. God should only save her. Before marriage, she expressed her desire to do MS in usa to groom, and he agreed it seems. Hopefully it goes well for her.

But IMO, if girls nowadays have an American Dream, its a :goodidea: to come on F1 or H1 and can have an independent life here in usa, there is no need to marry someone, bear the troubles of H4 (but if you want to live as a housewife in usa, then you are totally fine :thumbsup) and then convert to someother visa.

My story MS(USA),JOB(USA), (but i had my own share of ups and downs :-(while studying and working here), and lastly married DH ;-)when i settled down a bit.

 

H4s can apply for F1 and get masters and there by OPT which allows one to work meanwhile. They can then apply for h1 after gaining some experience as far as I know.

 

I miss my home country...the festivals, colors, cricket, packed movie halls, rangolis, street food, family and much more. But there are things that I like here as well. If I hated it here, I would have gone back by now.

 

I swore to marry a guy who was settled in India. Rejected any proposals from guys overseas. SO married a guy from India But there is something called fate...he was moved to the US 6 months later. I joined him after 2 months. 14 years later we are settled here.

I was on H4 too...and was happy. But also not idle. I took up many courses, started cultivating my hobbies, learnt to love cooking. Realized that not on I had to do the housework myself....millions of other women, indian as well as local did the same. By the time I went to India for my first vacation, I was actually glad when the maid called in sick or just did not show up. I found it very easy to clean the flat quickly and we were all free to do as we wished (ofcourse, MIL kept me busy) because we were not dependent on the househelp.

I do miss India everyday. But also learnt that I needed to make the most of whatever situation I found myself in. I was not professionally qualified so getting a H1 was not possible. But only thing in our advantage was that we came to this country at a time when the GC process was quicker. So I was on H4 for only 3 years.

Personally I always tell people from affluent families in India NOT to send their kids to the US....because these girls have grown up in the lap of luxury and feel very very depressed at having to come here and do all the chores themselves. This ends up in tears and arguments and finally parents thinking their SIL is illtreating their princess.

US is a place where a girl from a middle class family can easily adjust and survive.

But ofcourse thats just my opinion.

 

Or be a citizen on your own- a better option.