How to make my DH understand that I cant live with my FIL again

am not sure how many of u have seen my posts..
in short.. I had lot of problems when my DH moved away to a different city and I was not allowed to join my DH as my FIL was very adamant in staying in the same city( reason was he wanted to continue his b.music ) finally after lot of cheap actions from my FIL.. I waited till my BIL got his transfer from another city to take care of his dad.. and moved out of the place.. right now am staying in my mom's place.. i wud be delivering my second child this june.. My dh has plans to come back to the same place...he insists on staying together.. which am not for it..
I want to let him know that there have huge differences dat have come between me and FIL and he literally wont eat what I cook( I also dont want to waste my energy to cook jus to see it been thrown away).. I really dont want to live in the same place as he is..coz I believe dat wud cause more stress to me ( both physically and mentally)...I dont want to fight with my DH.. everytime he comes up with the idea(indirectly) i tell him blankly dat its not going to work out n he gets furious..(DH thinks all will be well like before.. and only his absence made his dad to behave weirdly) .the last time we talked abt the plan of taking care of the 2nd baby..i willingly told dat I wud resign and take care.. he was insisting dat we arrange a care taker wher my fil can monitor the care taker( in history he has been the reason for several caretakers fleeing from my house.. coz wen he sees someone is der to take care.. all he does is sits and make dem work for him... so ultimately everyone goes out) also I dont think I can use him when I wnat.. I moved out to my mom's house only after deciding dat i wll never ever depend on him...n its not right to utilise his presence when iam in need.. so clearly I am not looking for his help nor I want to stress myself living under the same roof as him...Am not sure whether am taking the right decision here but am sure this decision will give me mental peace.. but how do I make my DH understand this without hurting him and without fighting with him..

 

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s thank u remembering my story and replying to my post.. i really want to make my DH understand this as I fear it will create lot of trouble to everyone in the family if we live together again..but I donno wer to start with

 

well conveying at the right time in the right tone is very difficult for me... now am practising my dialogues on how to sound polite nad in teh same way determined on my decision

 

vjan,
I really donot want to live together again and create more rifts.. rather am happy staying distance apart n have a hi-bye relationship. I dont feel guilty at all, When I decided not to get his help, I shud not get rite.. dats it nothing else.. even if i get hsi help.. der will be only problems so not at al thinkin abt his help...
Fil lives with bil currently.. dey have a maid to help and cook.. dey need not be disturbed at all.. dey can continue living der.. there set up is just stable and running..all I want is to rent another flat for us (me,DH and kids) but DH says otherwise, he wants to live with his dad n bro n believes der will be no problem in the future as he is with us ( which I never have the hope on)